Dung of the Day: Bushwick Style

May 30, 2007 ·
Filed under: Dog Shit, Dog Shit Signage, Dung of the Day 

As I said yesterday, the bunghole of heaven has opened wide and showered me with a bounty of first-class shit pix. Here is today’s selection courtesy of Jaime, the proprietor of the known universe. He writes:

Hi Miss Heather,

This dog shit was in the stairwell of my loft in Bushwick. I realize the photo is kind of old — I posted it on my own blog over a year ago — but I didn’t come across your newyorkshitty blog until today and I thought it was worth sending to you anyway…

-Jaime

It was worth it. Still is. Even though it is a rather old example of excrement, it combines two items that go great together:

  1. dog shit
  2. an angry note from a neighbor of this negligent dog owner.

Here it is. Enjoy!

Dogshit 1

Why don’t we do it in the road hall!

dogshit 2

Looks like someone left a note. Let’s go in for a closer look…

dogshit 3

Excellent question, my dear Watson!

I want to thank Jaime for helping realize how lucky I am. All things considered, I suppose it’s better to live in a vomitorium than a toilet. During the six years of I have lived in my current apartment I have not seen anyone (canine or otherwise) take a shit in public areas of my building. Yet.

Miss Heather

P.S.: While I am on the subject of angry notes, check out this site. DO IT NOW. It’s hilarious. (Thanks “Dupreciate” for tipping me off to this!)

Photo Credit: Jaime

A novel approach to poop prevention

May 20, 2007 ·
Filed under: Dog Shit, Dog Shit Signage, Greenpoint Magic 

After living in Greenpoint for seven plus years I have become a connoisseur of crap. There’s as much of (sh)it to be found here as there are people who loathe it. The latter usually make their anti-shit sentiments known in the starkest imaginable terms. Threats of violence against those who choose not to ‘scoop the poop’ are commonplace here.

This is why today’s example of dog shit signage (from Meeker Avenue just off Kingsland) is remarkable: it makes no direct physical threats whatsoever. My man on Meeker took a much more subtle and cunning approach.

Intoxicated Area

I have heard of hallowed ground. Stevie Wonder sang about reaching Higher Ground. But intoxicated ground?!? That’s only to be had in Greenpoint, kids!

We Greenpointers are a very robust and jocular lot. We envision the glass to be half-full versus half-empty. Since that very nasty (and very unremediated) oil spill ain’t going anywhere anytime soon, why not use it to deter another form of pollution?

Miss Heather

Interesting Development at 97 Green Street

March 30, 2007 ·
Filed under: Dog Shit, Dog Shit Signage 

Sign

Although I am very happy to see that someone else hereabouts is fed up with the Green Street Crapfest I do feel compelled to point out that if a person is too fucking lazy to bend over and pick up his (or HER) dog doo, I seriously doubt he (or she) will bother negotiating around a couple of bikes and cinder blocks to get a sack to put said shit in. Even if it is free.

Just a thought.

Miss Heather

Bushwick don’t like dog shit

March 20, 2007 ·
Filed under: Dog Shit Signage 

When I got up this morning and saw how beautiful it was outside I knew there was no way in hell I could keep my ass parked in front of a computer. So instead of attending to the ginormous backlog of things I need to do, I went for a nice two hour stroll.

Man, am I glad I did. My spring fever/laziness netted me one of the finest dog shit signs I have seen to date!

165 Montrose Avenue Dog Shit Sign

This masterpiece can be found at 165 Montrose Avenue. God, make this dude was my Super…

Miss Heather

A very special Dung of the Day

February 20, 2007 ·
Filed under: Dog Shit, Dog Shit Signage, Dung of the Day 

Yesterday evening I found a very special submission in my inbox.

Asshole...

Not only does this photo feature Greenpoint’s nastiest sign-maker, but the person who sent it is someone Miss Heather holds in high esteem: none other than Kevin Walsh, the creator of Forgotten New York! Way cool. Thanks!!!

He wrote:

This was found on West St about a year ago…ab(ou)t Green St.

I actually remember seeing this and laughing my ass off. I have mulled over giving dog shit walking tours, but frankly, it’s a little too unpredictable. I am of the belief that selling Mr. Poopyhead merchandise is a much better use of my talents (READ: two art degress) anyway. I worked on this project yesterday and it it looks very promising.

Miss Heather

P.S.: I also have a line of thong underwear featuring chicken bones in the works. Tres Sexy!

Freeman Street Dog Shit Sign

January 18, 2007 ·
Filed under: Dog Shit Signage 

Boy am I happy I got today’s dog shit fact-finding trip done this morning: it’s starting to snow! Above one of the MANY piles of shit I documented was a new dog doo sign to add to my collection!

Freeman Street Sign

Yes, it is GROSS.

Stay tuned: a new “Crap Map” and numerous pie charts are in the works!

Miss Heather

Leonard Street

October 19, 2006 ·
Filed under: Dog Shit Signage 

When I knock around the Italian area of Williamsburg (south of the BQE) I usually stroll along Graham Avenue or Manhattan Avenue. Now I realize that I have been doing myself (and my readership) a considerable disservice by neglecting Leonard Street. Not only are there lots of dog bombs to be found along this strip, but there is a person residing there who is clearly fed up with people not picking up after their dogs. He/she has seen fit to erect four signs to this effect.

Sign 1

Sign 2

Sign 3

Sign 4

These signs can be found on Leonard Street just north of Metropolitan Avenue. I can only hope this person is taking pictures of the dogs (and the people who walk them) who are despoiling his/her property.

Miss Heather

Turdasaurus Rex

October 15, 2006 ·
Filed under: Dog Shit, Dog Shit Signage, Dung of the Day 

This week I will be house-sitting for a friend of mine who lives in Bushwick. I am pretty jazzed about this because I have long wanted to peruse her hood for “dog bombs” and any other weird shit to be found. My friend has seen many choice things there over the years, including a man lacquering chicken feet on the sidewalk and some dude using a running fire hydrant to wash the fish he caught (from the East River???). He gutted them right there on the street and left the guts for all the enjoy. Yummy.

I did not see anything too out of the ordinary today, but I spied my very first piece of Bushwick dog shit signage…

Curb your do

and found today’s “Dung of the Day” in front of William J. Gaynor Junior High School at 223 Graham Avenue.

Turdasaurus Rex

It sort of looks like Barney— enough to merit a very special PhotoShop project. Hmm…

Miss Heather

P.S.: Today’s “Dung of the Day” is dedicated to the fine men and women who have taken on the onerous task of educating New York City’s youth. It has been my observation that few places (other than retirement homes) have as much dog shit piled around them than public schools. You folks get no respect whatsoever.

Red Hook Dog Shit Signage

September 29, 2006 ·
Filed under: Dog Shit Signage 

I came across this on The Gowanus Lounge late last night. Mere words cannot convey the glory, just click the link behold it for yourself. Red Hook rocks!

Miss Heather

Poop No More

September 28, 2006 ·
Filed under: (s)Hit Parade, Dog Shit Signage 

Poopi No Mas

I found this rather choice dog shit sign on Clay Street last week. For those of you who are not proficient in Spanish, “Poopi no mas” roughly translates as “Poop no more” in English.

This would be a damned good band name. Too bad I have almost no musical ability whatsoever or I’d start a band and christen it “Poop No More”.

Otherwise, what started as a modest 4-5 slide PowerPoint presentation outlining my findings from September 20, 2006 has mushroomed into 13 slide magnum opus as of writing this post. It is quite an extraordinary piece of work. I hope to have it up this evening or tomorrow at the very latest.

Miss Heather

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