From The New York Shitty Inbox: An Open Letter To IDT

April 19, 2009 ·
Filed under: Area 51, Asshole, Greenpoint Magic, Manhattan, Williamsburg 

This offering comes from a Harlem resident who would prefer to remain anonymous. We’ll call him/her MS:

On Wednesday, 4/15/09, after being asked to leave, your IDT Agents refused to leave my building, located at [West Harlem address here]. They remained in the building after over 25 minutes of being asked to leave, even though I clarified I was an owner. They also refused to stop bothering my elderly neighbors, after being asked to do so.  Additionally they refused to give me a phone number or phone numbers to allow me to call a supervisor to assist in asking them to leave.  Then I took out my video camera.

There were two female agents, once wore a pink shirt under her coat and the other a gray beret. The agent in the pink shirt said her brother was her boss and he wouldn’t like it if she gave out his phone number, nor could I use her phone and use her minutes. (I offered her $5 to use her phone, but that offer was refused.) Your agents stated I could not make them leave even if I was an owner in the building because someone on the 4th floor buzzed them in. I said if they are guests of that person, they are now out of their apartment, so they need to leave my building. The girl in the beret said something like: Oh it’s your building, yeah right. And I clarified again, that I am an owner in the building and I want them to leave immediately. They said that the last building they were just in someone also called the police and that the police came and said they were allowed to be there. That of course is not true.

After asking the agents to leave for over 10 minutes, I called my super at 1:29pm hoping a man’s presence would convince the agents to leave but he was not available.  I then called IDT at 1:37pm @877-887-6866 and they said they could not call off their agents, and that I’d have to call the police. At 1:41pm I called 311 who transferred me to 911 because your agents were trespassing.

They continued door-to-door and I told each neighbor I saw that I have asked these agents to leave and that I called the police. One agent had already convinced my elderly neighbor to bring them their Con Ed bill and I also told that neighbor I had called the police.

Your agents pretended they called the police to report me and then they began knocking on doors on my first floor, and that is when I went to get my video camera. When officers from the 30th Precinct arrived they said they had received my call but had not received a call from your agents.

Here is the video that I put on youtube, as you will see, per request of your agent Sheena (excised) #6706306.

So far I’ve submitted it to Channel 7(“7 on Your Side”), Fox (“Shame, Shame, Shame”), The Consumerist, The Gothamist, Curbed, NYC bloggers/websites (if they have articles about problems with your agents), and the NYS Public Service Commission.

Under § 140.05 of the New York Penal Law, “[a] person is guilty of trespass when he knowingly enters or remains unlawfully in or upon premises.”

If indeed these are legitimate agents from your company, they have not represented you well.  This is the third time in a few weeks your agents have entered my building and have gone to door-to-door. Please stop sending your agents to Harlem.

And north Brooklyn too for that matter. This person’s experience with IDT’s “professionals” is not terribly unlike a number I have had. When asked to leave they just laugh. This is not a matter of mere youthful impertinence. It is OBNOXIOUS— and constitutes trespassing. Simple as that.

Miss Heather

Highlights From The Robot Monkey World Chimpionship: Part I

April 19, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

cresthardwarenys

Here is the first installment of last night’s Robot Monkey smack down brought to you by Dan Walker and t.b.d. New York Shitty Analysis: as the evening waxed on (and the contestants became more intoxicated— which I suppose should be expected with half-price Jameson and Absolut shots) the sportsmanship began to erode quite a bit. But as you will see this only served to make things all the more entertaining. Enjoy!

Brooklyn Ale House Vs. Mikey’s Hook Up

The Brooklyn Kitchen Crest Hardware Vs. Brooklyn Ale House

Brooklyn Ale House Vs. Brainewave Consulting

I will be uploading more highlights from this most pleasurable diversion tomorrow— so stay tuned!

Miss Heather

2009 Robot Monkey World Chimpionship: And The Winner Is…

April 19, 2009 ·
Filed under: Advanced Life Forms, Culture War, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

Number 9.

Man oh Manischewitz was the Williamsburg versus Greenpoint robot battle fierce last night! Greenpoint’s very own Dandelion Wine* made it to the quarter finals but alas 11211 prevailed. Follows is a slide show of the event for your Sunday morning entertainment. Enjoy!

More video footage will be  forthcoming later today— because you know what they say:

It doesn’t matter if you win or lose, it’s how you play the game.

And let’s just say the game was played very interestingly.

Miss Heather

*Who will be featured in today’s New York Times. Mazel Tov!

P.S.: In somewhat-related news those of you who have been wondering what’s up with this lot next door to t.b.d.

lotforleasenys

It is no longer available. The owner of t.b.d signed a lease two weeks ago and they are creating an outdoor garden/annex. I have it per a very reliable source it will be up and running Memorial Day weekend. So mark your calendar!

Southside Photo Du Jour: Mindspring

April 19, 2009 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

mindspringnys

From Rodney Street.

Miss Heather

From The Williamsburg Lost & Found: Fanny Floss

April 18, 2009 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

fannyfloss

If any of you ladies of 11211 are wondering where your rust colored mesh thong went worry no more: I found ’em. In the middle of Bedford Avenue and South 1 Street. Now all you need to do is score some Plan B at the Northside Pharmacy and you’ll be all aces!

Miss Heather

Williamsburg Street Art Du Jour: Spartan

April 18, 2009 ·
Filed under: Street Art, Williamsburg 

nomaste

From Driggs Avenue.

Miss Heather

Last Gasp: Greenpoint Goes Green On Sunday!

April 17, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Newtown Creek, Williamsburg 

go-green…sort of. Some of you might remember the debacle at last year’s Earth Day celebration. For those of you who are not in the know fliers were posted advertising this event all over 11211 and 11222. None of them mentioned Exxon Mobil was a sponsor. But they were. A sponsor. When the word got out hilarity ensued.

This year Exxon and their funky bunch will sport a table instead. Per a tipster:

Thank you (excised) for giving me a heads up that Exxon Mobil, WILL have a table at the Go Green Event. I will not be attending the event after all. Even though I appreciate Town Sq(uare’s) efforts, I would feel personally responsible for misleading people, if I didn’t let this group know.

Furthermore, I personally feel that Exxon Mobil has contributed greatly to this community’s environmental problems and I will continue to not attend events that allow the corporation to present themselves as an entity interested in this community’s GREEN well being. Their time is better spent on actions that will get the Creek cleaned up & the affected community greened up.

Those of you who find Exxon’s intransigence and shameless (and regrettably, very effective) attempts to buy off this community by throwing around chump change and purchasing positive PR offensive— or are simply disgusted by the useful idiots who facilitate their green washing— mark your calendars:

GO GREEN! GREENPOINT!
April 19, 2009 starting at 11:00 a.m.
Nassau Avenue at North 15 Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Ender: Saggy On The Southside

April 17, 2009 ·
Filed under: Street Furniture, Williamsburg 

southsecondcouch

This beautiful azure sofa hails from South 2nd Street. I can think of no better place to catch a few rays and enjoy the long anticipated arrival of spring!

Miss Heather

Fedders Friday: Casa D’Agosto

April 17, 2009 ·
Filed under: Articles of Fedderization, Fedders Friday, Williamsburg 

It’s been awhile since I have indulged my fascination with the architectural marvel that is Fedderstecture. The reasons for this are numerous, but basically boil down to things:

  1. The weather: it’s frequently been too cold/damp to search for these beauties.
  2. The transition from housing boom to bust has rendered new specimens pretty scarce.

Luckily I discovered on Powers Street that not every aspiring Fedderista has had his (or her) activities curtailed by lack of funding.

daagosto

Presenting Casa D’ Agosto!

gutter

It is not only richly appointed with Fedders boxes, but also sports this solitary (if slightly crooked) exposed gutter. Any more would be ostentatious in these lean times.

85-powerst

Besides, they needed to save money for those little refinements. Like concrete…

garagedoor

and this rather formidable looking garage door. We are in a recession after all!

Miss Heather

EAST WILLIAMSBURG RECESSION WATCH: What Do You Want On Your Tombstone?

April 17, 2009 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

(Or, Ask For Jerry)

monument-close-uplilletlangtry

Once in a blue moon I will have one of those weeks when a number of readers bring something to my attention. This week it was the above sign advertising fresh brick oven bread. This may not seem remarkable to most of you— nor should it be. It’s the location of this sign that makes it so darned interesting. Chad writes:

I had to share.  If you find yourself near the Graham L stop, check out Grande Monuments on Graham Ave.  I’m sure you’ve seen it.  It has clocks and weird shit in the windows to remind you that your time is limited.  And they sell grave markers / headstones.  Only now they also sell fresh baked bread too.  In the window next to a grave marker – there is a tiered baguette stand with fresh bread for purchase.

I was precluded from heading there yesterday and documenting this personally. However, my colleague Lillet Langtry has done so and  generously gave me permission to use her photographs. After all seeing really is believing, right?

monument-storelilletlangtry

She writes:

Apparently the recession has spurred a side business: Fresh Baked Bread! No need for funeral baked meats or nothin!

Indeed. As some of you might be aware Mr. Heather works at a hospital. In the way of recession-proof employment it simply does not get much better than this. I mean, as long as there are human beings some of them will get sick or die, right? This unique business model has forced me to rethink this theory. Perhaps the recession has forced some folks to table kicking the bucket until their families can afford to inter them in the manner to which they would like to become accustomed? Stranger things have happened. I suppose we should go ask Jerry.

Grande Monuments/Brick Oven* Bakery
328 Graham Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11211

Miss Heather

*A comrade’s crematorium? I can only hope so!

Photo Credits: Lillet & Trey. Thanks!

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