Williamsburg Street Art Du Jour: North 8 Street

January 23, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11211, Street Art, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

Okay, I’ll admit it: I love these damned hearts (which are the handiwork of an artist named Chris Uphues). There, I said it.

Miss Heather

Crosstown Local Photo Du Jour: G(ee)

January 23, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Crosstown Local, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

Have you ever wondered why they say a picture is worth a thousand words? If so, here you go:

As a matter of fact Metropolitan Transit Authority, it IS cold. This is part of the reason waiting for the shuttle buses which you, in your infinite wisdom, have pressed into service for four consecutive weekends in a row.

In the dead of winter.

SUCKS.

Miss Heather

Williamsburg Photo Du Jour: Cans

January 23, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11211, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

From North 9 Street.

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Video Du Jour: Failure to Communicate

January 23, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

The junk shop has imparted me to a number of things money cannot buy. My fellow junk folk; Larry, Johnny, Laura and Cass are wonderful people. I consider it an honor to know them. The customers are by and large wonderful as well. I consider them to be my friends and for this reason I keep an eye out for items they might find of interest. Foremost and above all, it has given me ample amounts of cocktail party conversation material. A number of people find my tales unbelievable. I do not blame them. Would you believe someone would:

1. want to purchase a single nudie girl playing card for 25 cents
2. rip pictures from other pornographic magazines and stuff them into one porno mag in the hopes of pulling a “fast one”
3. try to bargain down the price of one 25 cent photo to 10 cents because (and I quote) “I do not have 25 cents”
4. attempt to shoplift $1.00 ashtrays, a stack of postcards or an issue of Architectural Digest

unless you yourself have witnessed it? Of course not. But I have seen all the previous come to pass and more. Much more. There’s very little in the way of chicanery that has the power to amaze me anymore save the methods prospective customers employ to chisel me. This is a never-ending source of fascination for yours truly. A few are quite inventive. Most are not. The following tactics are in my experience the most prevalent:

1. Claiming the item in question is a gift “for a friend”. (What does this say about you, as a friend?)
2. Claiming an article of clothing does not fit. (Either you’re too fat or it’s too small. Take your pick. I am no longer a size “00”. I am a size 2-4. If I can accept this, so can you.)
3. Asking another employee for a price quote.
4. Claiming the item in question is somehow “defective”. (The condition of any given piece of merchandise is taken into account before pricing. If it is broken, why do you want to buy it so much?)
5. Feigning a lack of comprehension of the English language.

In regards to the latter most point, I am very aware our fair city is an international one. The clientele of the junk shop reflects this. The junk shop’s (if rudimentary) command of Romance and Germanic languages usually suffices. Regardless of one’s mater lingua there is one common language: U.S. Dollars. Most understand this— but some don’t. Which brings me to the following woman. She not only wasted no less than four minutes of my time haggling over one dollar, but she also attempts to use tactics #3 and #4.

Before anyone berates me for being a mean person and/or anti-Polish here are a few things to consider:

1. before this exchange came to pass I had told this woman in plain English to STOP to rummaging in the junk shop’s dumpster. She understood me.
2. the previous exchange came to pass after she pretended not to understand that the two frames in question were priced at $1.00 and $2.00 respectively. $3.00 total. Not $2.00 total as she claimed. When this was shown to her by the other person she attempted to drag into the haggling process, she became argumentative. And curiously enough, less proficient in English.
3. She paid with a $5.00 bill. (Think about this.)
4. I have lived in Greenpoint long enough to know the difference between individuals who speak Polish exclusively and those who are— even if rudimentarily— bilingual. I do my best to accommodate both of the previous. BUT…
5. I don’t like being bullshitted and hassled. Especially over one dollar.

So you get what we have here today. Which is the way she wants it. Well, she gets it.

I don’t like it any more than than you do.

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Starter: Another One Bites The Dust

January 23, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

From Noble Street.

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Ender: Greenpoint Fashion Watch

Today was a long day for yours truly. For this reason the Mister and I went out to dinner. It was on the way home we met this gentleman.

Just as you, dear readers, probably just did; I took a double take of his headgear.

Is that what I think it is?

I asked.

It’s a hat.

He replied.

Well, I like it. Do you mind if I take a picture?

I shit you not the guy blushed! It took a little persuasion but he agreed to let me take a picture of his very special chapeau. For someone wearing such a item this chap was incredibly bashful. Truth be told, I found this kind of cute. So I decided to up the ante.

That’s quite a package it’s sporting… but I suppose if you’re going to do something half-ass you shouldn’t do it at all.

Both he and the deli clerk found my observation hilarious. I suppose it is funny— but what else can you honestly say about something like this? Other than, perhaps, it takes someone with serious cojones to wear it? I only wish I had the hair to pull it off.

Regardless, I give this fashion statement two enthusiastic thumbs up!

Miss Heather

Urban Fur: Working Girl

January 22, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Crazy Cat Lady, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

This lovely lass is named Beauty and as you can see she keeps a very watchful eye over World of Flowers (at 971 Manhattan Avenue).

Miss Heather

Something Neat: Greenpoint, The Book

January 22, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

When I spied this behind the counter at the Garden today I simply had to have it. The asking price of $23.99 be damned! Those of you who are looking for a book outlining the basic history of Greenpoint accompanied by some very lovely photographs will probably be hard-pressed to find anything better than this tome. Even if you do not have the money, swing by and give it a look-see. It’s pretty neat!

Greenpoint: Little Poland
Jolanta Zastocka
The Garden
921 Manhattan Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222

Note: this book is in both Polish and English.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Street Seating Du Jour: Lorimer Street

January 22, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Street Furniture 

What really makes this specimen special is the skeletal Santa holding a gourd in the background (which I have documented previously). The people responsible for this appear to be modifying good ol’ St. Nick in accordance to whatever holiday is in season. Hence the melange of Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas imagery. I can hardly wait to see what they do for Valentine’s Day.

Miss Heather

On The Waterfront: Calling Dr. Love

January 22, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

One of the things which fascinates me about my fellow homo sapiens is how much time and effort they spend trying to get laid. The number of web sites and matchmaking services dedicated to this endeavor bear testament to this fact. On that note, I am pleased to announce yet another tool in cupid’s quiver: the end of Java Street.

It’s refreshing to see that the removal of that illegal gate has indeed helped my fellow Greenpointers to better enjoy the waterfront! I can only hope when Chico becomes a man he will write a letter of thanks to David Yassky.

Miss Heather

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