Greenpoint Fashion Watch: Furban Jungle Update
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
It’s been over a week since I’ve hit you up with some (f)urban goodness from the wilderness that is Greenpoint. Luckily last weekend’s lovely weather brought out all manner and variety of animal print enthusiasts. I stalked these wild game (in one case coming close to walking in front of a moving car), trapped them on my digital camera and released them into the sanctuary of my Flickr photo set (which follows). Happy hunting!
If any of you spy the odd leopard lady, tempting tigress or— best of all— a furban zebra (which I have observed are not unlike their four legged counter-parts: almost impossible to capture) in the greater Greenpoint area please forward them to me at:
missheather (at) thatgreenpointblog (dot) com
Thanks!
Miss Heather
Reader Contribution Du Jour: HELP WANTED
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
This item comes courtesy of Bitchcakes who writes:
I simply had to pass this along. I noticed this this morning on Manhattan Ave, by the corner of Norman. I thought it was serious at first, but as I read along, I am convinced it is just the work of some prankster. Either way, I found it amusing. Enjoy!
I agree: this is probably a prank. The idea of creating an indoor beach in Greenpoint, however, strikes me as being an excellent business proposition— especially for our older friends whose Social Security checks are not going as far they used to. Get a few lawn chairs, a cooler (or two) of PBR, charge admission and the rent will be paid in no time! You know how the saying goes:
If you build it, they will come!
Of course I also see the potential for this turning into some kind of Spahn Ranch kind arrangement and, well, we all know what that got us. Now that I think about it I have seen quite a few men in the greater 11222 area lately whose fashion sensibilities are of the Charles Manson and/or Tex Watson variety. In any case those of you who are interested in following up on this most unique employment opportunity can contact this Greenpoint grannie (aspiring Mrs. Robinson?— the bamboo around the bed begs the question) at:
peterpanofcarpenters (at) gmail (dot (com)
Good luck!
Miss Heather
Williamsburg Photo Du Jour: Half Nader
Filed under: Williamsburg
From Meeker Avenue.
Miss Heather
Reader Comment Of The Week
Yes, I know it is only Monday— but I seriously doubt I’ll get anything as choice as the following the next five days. It comes courtesy of stewartparis and pertains to yesterday’s post about a very special billboard in Marine Park. He writes:
Really don’t want to ruin the fun, but I do believe that is a prostate. I prefer corn as explanation.
To add to the educational experience, I am a Physician assistant and while in school, to learn what a normal prostate is supposed to feel like, we were told, the normal prostate is supposed be about the size of a walnut and to feel like the end of your nose, one that you would be suspicious of cancer is similar to the bridge of your nose (firm or even nodular) and an infected prostate (prostatitis) would feel like your cheek (boggy).
I love that whenever I discuss this with patients or friends, people inevitably sample their nose, to see what that feels like. Imagine a room full of PA students with looks of clarification while touching their nose, but imagining it was while their finger was up a strangers butt!!!! Or even better imagine a student during a real exam, not sure about the exam, touching their nose while the other hand is doing THE exam.
Hopefully there are NY Shitty friends across the boroughs touching their noses right now.
Hell Stew, on a dreary day like this I hope my readers are touching a lot more than their noses! Although I have been told massaging this gland creates a sensation that is not for everyone I’d wager a few men might like it. Grab a lab partner and head to the closest office bathroom guys. A brave scientific experiment awaits you!
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Fashion Watch: Justice for $1.99
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
Those of you who are looking to make a fashion statement on a tight budget should head down to the Big D Store. STAT.
There you will find this t-shirt with Brutus on it. It reads “Justice”. I for one find this piece of apparel a little confusing because if my memory serves me correctly this gent’s shtick was beating up people and date raping Olive Oyl.* But who am I to judge?
Men’s “Justice” T-Shirts
Big D Store
777 Manhattan Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222
Miss Heather
*Who is arguably one of the most annoying cartoon characters ever created.
Fear And Loathing On Manhattan Avenue
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
Not since I was knee-high to Willie Horton have I seen an advertisement that so flagrantly plays upon race, gender and class anxiety. Way to go Williamsburg Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, you’d make Lee Atwater proud!
Miss Heather
P.S.: This one isn’t much better.
Highlights From The Robot Monkey World Chimpionship: Part II
Or: Lily Speaks
This installment features Lily Peachin of Dandelion Wine battling it out in the quarter finals against d.b.a. Although Dandelion Wine lost (and pretty badly at that) her running commentary through out the game and increasing frustration (who knew she took her robot monkeys so seriously?) makes this worth viewing. So be sure to watch the second half. Funny stuff!
You can see more footage from this event by clicking here.
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: Moments Of Zen
McGolrick Park
Manhattan Avenue
Nassau Avenue
Miss Heather
Reader Contribution Du Jour: Some Very Special Street Seating
These shots come courtesy of a woman named Jillian who is better known to many as The Fictionalist. She writes:
Hello There,
The two attached photos may be of interest re: your 4/19 post; this comfy, though slightly torn, little number was abandoned on Noble Street btwn Franklin and Manhattan. Thought I’d liven it up.
Very much enjoying your shitty blog…
Thank you, Jillian, for the kind words and living up my inbox!
Miss Heather
From The New York Shitty Inbox: An Open Letter To IDT
This offering comes from a Harlem resident who would prefer to remain anonymous. We’ll call him/her MS:
On Wednesday, 4/15/09, after being asked to leave, your IDT Agents refused to leave my building, located at [West Harlem address here]. They remained in the building after over 25 minutes of being asked to leave, even though I clarified I was an owner. They also refused to stop bothering my elderly neighbors, after being asked to do so. Additionally they refused to give me a phone number or phone numbers to allow me to call a supervisor to assist in asking them to leave. Then I took out my video camera.
There were two female agents, once wore a pink shirt under her coat and the other a gray beret. The agent in the pink shirt said her brother was her boss and he wouldn’t like it if she gave out his phone number, nor could I use her phone and use her minutes. (I offered her $5 to use her phone, but that offer was refused.) Your agents stated I could not make them leave even if I was an owner in the building because someone on the 4th floor buzzed them in. I said if they are guests of that person, they are now out of their apartment, so they need to leave my building. The girl in the beret said something like: Oh it’s your building, yeah right. And I clarified again, that I am an owner in the building and I want them to leave immediately. They said that the last building they were just in someone also called the police and that the police came and said they were allowed to be there. That of course is not true.
After asking the agents to leave for over 10 minutes, I called my super at 1:29pm hoping a man’s presence would convince the agents to leave but he was not available. I then called IDT at 1:37pm @877-887-6866 and they said they could not call off their agents, and that I’d have to call the police. At 1:41pm I called 311 who transferred me to 911 because your agents were trespassing.
They continued door-to-door and I told each neighbor I saw that I have asked these agents to leave and that I called the police. One agent had already convinced my elderly neighbor to bring them their Con Ed bill and I also told that neighbor I had called the police.
Your agents pretended they called the police to report me and then they began knocking on doors on my first floor, and that is when I went to get my video camera. When officers from the 30th Precinct arrived they said they had received my call but had not received a call from your agents.
Here is the video that I put on youtube, as you will see, per request of your agent Sheena (excised) #6706306.
So far I’ve submitted it to Channel 7(“7 on Your Side”), Fox (“Shame, Shame, Shame”), The Consumerist, The Gothamist, Curbed, NYC bloggers/websites (if they have articles about problems with your agents), and the NYS Public Service Commission.
Under § 140.05 of the New York Penal Law, “[a] person is guilty of trespass when he knowingly enters or remains unlawfully in or upon premises.”
If indeed these are legitimate agents from your company, they have not represented you well. This is the third time in a few weeks your agents have entered my building and have gone to door-to-door. Please stop sending your agents to Harlem.
And north Brooklyn too for that matter. This person’s experience with IDT’s “professionals” is not terribly unlike a number I have had. When asked to leave they just laugh. This is not a matter of mere youthful impertinence. It is OBNOXIOUS— and constitutes trespassing. Simple as that.
Miss Heather


























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