Greenpoint
Lorven Pharmacy
Culture on the Cheap
BARCmates: Justina And Provenzana
Meet Miss Justina.
This lovely (and very petite) 1 1/2 year old tabby has a lot of attitude— and sweetness. I learned this while interviewing her.
Miss Heather: What’s your name?
Justina: Can’t you read the godd*mned card on my cage?
Miss Heather: Justina, right?
Justina: Call me what you want, I want outta of this dump. No offense to the nice people at BARC— they’ve been really good to me— but this is not the lifestyle I would like to become accustomed to. I have needs.
Miss Heather: A forever home with people who will love and respect you?
Justina: Yes, exactly. Will you please rub my head now? (I did.)
Then I checked in on Justina’s neighbor, Provenzana.
Justina didn’t take too well to relinquishing the spotlight to Provenzana.
In fact, she took a couple of swipes Provenzana’s direction, but one glance from Provenzana was all it took to make Justina settle down.
Miss Heather: So what’s up with you?
Provenzana: I care not to talk about my personal affairs. I live at BARC under the feline witness protection program.
Miss Heather: Racketeering?
Provenzana: No, mouseketeering. Tony Pro sent me to shake down some particularly vexatious mice in Union City and I didn’t find my way home.
Miss Heather: That’s why you ended up in Williamsburg?
Provenzana: Yeah, more or less. I ain’t saying anything more without an attorney present.
In all seriousness, Justina and Provenzana are two (of the many) very cool cats needing homes at BARC. If you want sweet Provenzana is the best. If you’re looking for spicy, check out Justina.
Brooklyn Animal Resource Coalition
253 Wythe Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11211
Adoption hours: Tuesday through Saturday, noon to 5:00 p.m.
Oh, if you adopt Provenzana please keep her identity anonymous(e).
Miss Heather
P.S.: Katie Gastley is donating half the profits from her show, Animalia, to BARC.
Check it out!
Pillow Cafe
505 Myrtle Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11205
Animal Planet, Revisited
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
This morning as I was running errends I noticed Greenpoint’s latest addition to the pet supply store scene is open for business.
Animal Planet
1084 Manhattan Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222
(718) 349-0602
Miss Heather
Ugliest. Building. Ever.
Filed under: Bed-Stuy
As a resident of north Brooklyn I have seen my fair share (and then some) of ugly buildings. When scouting for crapitecture to showcase on Fedders Friday I often find myself saying:
That sure is ugly. But is it ugly enough?
Today, dear readers, I found an edifice so utterly hideous I was speechless. It hails from the intersection of Fulton Street and Classon Avenue on the border between Bedford Stuyvesant and Clinton Hill. Strap on your barf bags kids, here it comes!
The first thing that struck me about this building (actually, it’s two buildings but they’re conjoined so I am treating them as one) is its apparent lack of any aesthetic sense or “plan”.
Here’s a shot of the building to the left. This architect decided to go eclectic— and by “eclectic” I mean throwing a bunch of random stuff together.
A bunch of very ugly random stuff.
What would a masterpiece of this caliber be if it was besmirched by greenery?
No worries, they’ve got it covered.
With cement.
Miss Heather
Williamsburg Pay Phone du Jour: The Lobotophone
Filed under: Williamsburg
Looks like someone saw fit to give this Grand Street pay phone a lobotomy.
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Photo du Jour: A Whole Lotta Beer
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
We Greenpointers sure love us some beer.
Miss Heather
Fear And Loathing On The Southside
Filed under: Williamsburg
Last Friday The New York Observer made the following wry observation about my latest installment of violence against public pay phones:
Evidence would suggest Williamsburg pay phones have become the target of twenty-something angst.
I mulled this theory over for a moment and came to the conclusion that they may very well be right. It also begs the question as to how the neighbors of these 20-somethings vent the frustration that invariably arises with living elbow to elbow with the young and the privileged. Yesterday on Driggs Avenue at South 3rd Street I finally learned their secret.
Step 1: Get a door, preferably one that is light weight and of low quality
Step 2: Secure an X-Men 2 poster and some duct tape.
Step 3: Affix the aforementioned poster to door with duct tape.
Step 4: Give your doorman a “body” and slug away.
Looks like this guy needs to work on his aim.
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Marty For Life
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
I found this flier at McCarren Park this afternoon. First Jamie was caught hoarding Murakami swag, now the Markowitzes have kicked it up a notch by plotting world domination!
Miss Heather
P.S.: Here’s another bit of Martymania from a Manhattan Avenue pay phone!
Williamsburg Photo du Jour: Bedford Avenue
Filed under: Williamsburg
Yes, it would appear that there are people in this borough (real estate agents mainly) who think flogging the Fischer brand will attract business. Where is this Maple Street masterpiece, you ask? It’s here.
Miss Heather
Weekend Round-Up: Springtime In Greenpoint
The first breath of spring weather last weekend was greeted by my fellow Greenpointers in good form:
- 3/31/08: a toilet is left on my block
- 4/4/08, 11:40 P.M.: someone sees fit to do #2 in said porcelain throne using what appears to be legal paper as toilet paper. (Not that I am complaining, mind you. Someone deposited a hefty helping of diarrhea on my stoop two weeks prior. The fact someone used this privy gives me solace that there is some semblance of decency in this city.)
- 4/5/08, 2:30 P.M.: I saw a drunk chap sipping from a can of Foster’s Lager with a straw
- 4/5/08, 7:00 P.M.: I saw a chihuahua in a dress
- 4/5/08, 8:30 P.M.: I saw a VERY inebriated dude getting loaded (no pun intended) into an ambulance in front of a liquor store on Manhattan Avenue. It took four EMS workers to do it.
Springtime in Greenpoint is something to behold, folks. I have experienced eight of them and have yet to be disappointed.
Case in point:
Something about the warm weather brings out the (already) impish nature of my Garden Spot brethren.
Note the use of tense, e.g.: Karen eats dick whereas Lenny ate dick.
As did “Fuser”. The gentleman (whose shoulder can be seen in the above photo, a MTA employee no less) was initially alarmed by my shutterbugging. When I explained to him that this was the third instance of someone “eating dick” I had seen in as many days in Greenpoint he left me alone.
Go figure.
Miss Heather
P.S.: Oh yeah, if you haven’t read about it already some guys managed to drive into Newtown Creek at 3:00 a.m. this morning.
Miss Mordred Readies Herself For Spring
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
Yesterday I had the pleasure of bumping into one of Greenpoint’s most stylish citizens. Yes, I am talking about none other than Miss Mordred.
She was busy doing a little shopping at the local junk shop and didn’t have the time or desire to model her fine fettle for me.
She was perfectly amenable to having her head scratched by Mr. Heather, though.
After a little cajoling we were finally able to get her to strike a pose.
Her dress sports no less than three bows! Tres chic!
Miss Heather
NYS Flickr Pool
You must be logged in to post a comment.