Greenpoint
Lorven Pharmacy
Culture on the Cheap
Feeling Lonely?
Filed under: Bushwick
I realize that Valentine’s Day has come and gone. And with its passing I am certain a number of you are probably feeling a little lonesome. It is hard to meet quality people in this city, hence the reason I opted to have my husband shipped from out of state. Whether or not this was a good decision on my part only time will tell. But I digress.
I have learned the situation for all you New York Shitty singles out there is not entirely hopeless. This weekend I got the inside scoop on a little known place you can meet that special someone. Got your pen and paper ready love seekers? Good. Here we go.
Step 1: Get a bag of garbage. Kitchen, bathroom, recycling— any kind will do.
Step 2: With your bag of trash in tow, take the J or M train to Flushing Avenue.
Step 3: Go to this building on Ellery Street between Broadway and Beaver Street.
Step 4: Proceed to the area indicated by the arrow.
Step 5: Start opening your bag of garbage as if you intend to dump it. (Trust me, I know what I’m talking about here.)
Presto! You just got some companionship over a cup of coffee! Of course whether or not you land that crucial second date is anyone’s guess. I wouldn’t get my hopes too high, though: if all the refuse in front of this sign is any indication, this person is pretty popular.
Good luck!
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Say It With Flowers
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
I realize the above text is barely legible so I will transcribe it for you:
Flowers make me horny.
And this* kids is why Greenpoint is called the Garden Spot of the Universe!
Miss Heather
*Rats with floral fetishes on Monitor Street.
Hooper Needs Help
This little guy was trapped during a recent trap-neuter-return sortie by the ever-fantastic proprietress of Last Night’s Dinner, Jenblossom. Here’s his story in her words:
This is Hooper, a 3 month old kitten who is one of 9 strays Mike and I trapped from our back yard over the course of the last week. Hooper somehow managed to break both bones in his right front leg, but this tough little guy still climbed fences and played around with his siblings for a couple of weeks until we could catch him and get him help.
That help was provided by some amazing friends: the BARC shelter in Williamsburg donated space in their warehouse to house the cats temporarily; the ASPCA provided us with spay/neuter services at no cost as part of their humane Trap-Neuter-Return program; and the medical professionals at City Critters got Hooper examined, x-rayed and patched up. Hooper is on the mend, with about two weeks of cage rest ahead of him before he can be neutered and returned home to his mom and siblings.
Mike and I plan to make a donation to help defray the costs of the care Hooper has received from these wonderful people. If you’d like to contribute, please feel free to contact me by email, or send funds by Pay Pal to jnblssm at yahoo dot com. You can also make a donation directly to City Critters at www.citycritters.org.
Thank you.
No, thank you Jen for taking the time to care for those furry little ones who cannot defend themselves. Not surprisingly, Hooper has taken a shine to us humans after all the tender loving care he has received. Anyone interested in adopting him can contact Lisacat via Flickr mail.
Miss Heather
Photo Credit: Lisacat
Williamsburg Photo du Jour: Danger
Filed under: Williamsburg
From Withers Street.
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Photo du Jour: God Bless America
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
Mr. Steve might have been “BLESSED & SAVED BY GRACE”, but yesterday Monitor Street smelled like ass.
Miss Heather
P.S.: Speaking of shit that stinks, check this out.
The above image probably looks familiar to a number of you. That’s because I featured it on New York Shitty last Sunday. Well, a certain web site decided to feature it yesterday.
They were even nice enough to place their own watermark on it. Unfettered by such vagaries as copyright law or intellectual property they saw fit to neither link to the site where this photograph came from (New York Shitty) or give credit to the person who took the trouble to shoot and annotate it (yours truly).
Finding fun (and sometimes not so fun) material to post on this web site often involves a lot of time and footwork on my part. I have no complaints; it is a labor of love— what’s more I enjoy sharing this stuff and giving people a much-needed laugh. Rather, my complaint stems from having my work used without permission or even a simple citation. This is unacceptable.
UPDATE 2/19/08: I made my discontentment known College Humor via email. Not only was the person who contacted me very nice, but he promptly removed this image. Thanks guys.
And Then There Were Four
Filed under: Crazy Cat Lady
I am sad to announce that Chateau de Ghetto has lost one of their own. After a week of being shuttled from the veterinarian to an animal hospital in Brooklyn and from that hospital to another another one in Manhattan, today we had to put our cat Tortilla to sleep. He was 14 years old.
I cannot say that Tortilla and I had the easiest relationship. On top of not liking my cats (foisted upon him), he was aggressive, mean-spirited and not terribly bright (the above photograph was taken two years ago when I caught him eating laundry detergent). But he was our “meathead” and he will be very missed. Even by me.
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Photo du Jour: X-Rated on McGuinness Boulevard
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
It looks like the brains behind the Bedford Avenue beaver has finally struck in Greenpoint.
Miss Heather
Bushwick Photo du Jour: Jousting Birdhouses
Filed under: Bushwick
From Jefferson Street.
Miss Heather
Ninth Ring of Hell on Franklin Street
If there is indeed a City of Dis, I am certain Karl Fischer “architect” designed it.
Case in point:
This is 198 Franklin Street.
This is 198 Franklin on Karl Fischer. (My hell.)
Any questions?
Karl Fischer:
That’s what makes parts of Brooklyn so special. You have all of these rowhouses, townhouses, smaller-scale developments, more neighborhood-friendly developments. You have more open space. The quality of life in this way is going to be preserved in Brooklyn.
Which “parts of Brooklyn” are “so special”, Karl? Clearly Greenpoint and Williamsburg are not among of them. Unless filling your wallet at our aesthetic expense makes us special— in which case Greenpoint and Williamsburg are:
If you (or the little wizards under your employ) did any research or “Googled” 198 Franklin Street Karl, you’d know India Street runs eastward— not westward as your rendering depicts. Here’s a primer.
The above automobile is using India Street incorrectly.
The man driving this heating oil truck has the right idea. I’m certain the upscale tenants of 198 Franklin will love the hum of trucks and savor the scenic views of photographic/pornographic indiscretions next door.
From the balconies you designed Karl, the “NEW Greenpoint affluent influx” can sip drinks and watch their neighbors demonstrate and conduct sleep-ins next door. What a deal!
I assure you, Mr. Fischer, it is a minor inconvenience. These displaced people renters only demonstrate quarterly.
Miss Heather
P.S.: The trees and upwardly mobile honkies are a hoot, by the way. Last time I walked by 198 Franklin I watched a bum sniff a gently-used bottle of Smirnoff Ice. It was not up to snuff. At ten in the morning, anyway. I’m certain your condo will make this location (and the local potions) more enticing.
Crosstown Local Cavalcade Volume VI: Looking For Love
(…in all the wrong places.)
Waiting for the G train can in and of itself be a chore. This task is not made any easier when I am forced to look at this lady.
And look at her (“twins”) I have for the better part of two months.
I can only hope the above commentary is true. Now that the writer’s strike is over maybe they will dispense with this affluenzic clap trap.
Time and time again I wonder to myself why our society has such a fascination with wealth. Seriously, who could possibly find this drech interesting? Nobody I know does. Well, I recently got the answer to the aforementioned question on the Manhattan-bound platform of the L train at Lorimer Street.
Nice rollers.
Miss Heather
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