Lost In Greenpoint: Joey
As Tony commented in a previous post this seems to be the season for lost cats. This certainly does appear to be the case— as I discovered yesterday during my leisurely stroll along Meeker Avenue.
This handsome chap is named Joey. He calls the “Hausman Street area” his stomping grounds. If anyone has seen him or knows of his whereabouts please contact his family at the above-listed telephone numbers.
Thanks!
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Survival Tip: A Raccoon Is NOT a Cat
Last night at around 11:30 p.m. the cats started to collect around my bedroom window. Sure enough, our new friend was back in search for grub. He (or she) didn’t have to look very hard as one of my neighbors (who was watching with bemused interest) tossed a large hunk of naan for his culinary pleasure.
With a dull thud this landed about nine feet from our kitchen window. I decided to take action.
Hey, don’t throw food for him to eat!
I shouted.
What?
was his reply.
Me: DO NOT GIVE THIS ANIMAL FOOD. It is a raccoon.
Neighbor: ?
Me: IT IS A RACCOON.
Neighbor: What’s a raccoon?
Me: IT IS A WILD ANIMAL. It might have rabies for all we know. DON’T FEED IT!!!
Neighbor: I thought it was a cat.
Me: It’s not a cat. Don’t feed it, ok?
And with this I thought the evening’s excitement had concluded. It didn’t: my neighbor (wishing to be helpful) decided to get rid of our nocturnal visitor. His plan (throwing eggs at it) had a number of fundamental flaws. Among them:
- As I have noted previously, a raccoon is not a cat. Throwing eggs at a cat (though I have never tried it) will probably make it go away. Throwing eggs at a hungry raccoon will not. The fertilized unfertilized ovum of a domesticated fowl is not a deterrent to such a creature: it is a second course. As we both learned.
- This Good Samaritan’s aim was— how should I put it— a bit “off”. Instead of reaching its intended target his salvo skidded along the rooftop and splattered my window screen with aborted chicken goodness.
What followed has to be seen to be believed.
It took me a good five minutes of beating my maglite against the windowsill to make this scavenger go away. This din woke the Mister up and a whole new round of late night hilarity commenced. And on that note, dear readers, I am off to take up this matter with this gentleman’s landlord.
Miss Heather
The Viridian Institutes The “No Boil” Rule
I have long refrained from passing along to you, dear readers, the good news that the Viridian’s pool is open for business. This is because I thought it wasn’t really interesting enough to merit passing along.
Here it is.
Here is another view.
Although a bit cheap looking, there’s nothing terribly remarkable about these chairs. No excitement here. Then I looked directly across from these chairs— and it started to get quite interesting.
Four signs have been hung outlining the rules for personal conduct for said pool. The left one explains capacity, the far right one points out that no lifeguard is on the duty (and thus swimming is prohibited). The two in the middle get right down to the nitty gritty.
Yes, I realize Curbed featured this very sign a month ago.
But when paired with this, its companion to the left, well— that’s when I realized this is one class operation.
Miss Heather
Today’s Moment of Zen: Demo’ed On Diamond
Filed under: 11222, Bloomblight, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
Putting the “bloom” back in Bloomblight.
Miss Heather
TONIGHT: Taxi Confidential
Tonight Word Books will be hosting an event with Taxi Confidential author (and Greenpoint resident) Amy Braunschweiger. What is Taxi Confidential about you ask? Here’s a synopsis from the book’s web site:
In Taxi Confidential, cabbies ranging from a lead-footed pothead to a philosophizing immigrant sage grapple with what chance tosses their way. Author Amy Braunschweiger uncovers the best taxi stories from the 1970s through present day, and takes the reader on a 100-mile-per-hour ride through Gotham’s darkest alleys, roughest neighborhoods, and hidden sweet spots.
This sounds intriguing enough— but I wanted to learn more. So I contacted Word Books. They, in turn, put me in contact with Ms. Braunschweiger. I asked her a few questions which she was kind enough to answer below.
H: What gave you the idea to write Taxi Confidential?
AB: I wish I could take all the credit for it, but I can’t. My editor, Lee Klancher, approached me with the idea of a book about NYC taxi stories. I liked it, but then expanded on it and make it my own. I wanted stories from both cabbies and passengers – from both sides of the partition.
Also, I wanted stories that read like fiction – suspense, action, drama, the good stuff. I wanted to get into the mind of the cabbies and their passengers, to see what they were thinking and feeling every step of he way. So when you read Taxi Confidential, you know everyone’s opinions and motivations, as well as their backgrounds. If someone started out the day dumping hot coffee in their laps, I tell you.
H: A number of books have been written about cabbies (New York City Hack and Taxicab Wisdom immediately come to mind)— what sets Taxicab Confidential apart from them?
AB: Taxi Confidential, is a collection of around 50 stories from the 1970s through present day. Some stories are lurid, some are poignant, and they’re all entertaining. Almost all these stories focus on a specific moment when the interaction between cabbie and passenger changes someone’s life – when an unexpected variable flies into the situation like a pickax, forcing a change of course.
It’s a book that contains factoids without reading like a dry academic book. It has stories from both passengers and cabbies. And it’s a tour of New York City through four decades.
H: A number of stereotypes abound regarding New York City cab drivers (for example, that most are from Pakistan or India). Thus I imagine in the course of putting together your book the issue of stereotypes arose periodically. What is in your opinion the biggest cabbie myth?
AB: The first stereotype you mentioned is true – about 50% of cab drivers come from India, Pakistan or Bangladesh. And as of a few years ago, about 90% of cabbies were born in foreign countries. Today, cab driving is an immigrant’s story.
Until I researched this book, I didn’t realize how dangerous a job driving a cab could be. Think about it. As a driver, you’ve got your back to the passenger – a total stranger – and you’re focused on navigating traffic. Oh, and you’re carrying crazy wads of cash. And everybody knows it. Talk about a prime robbery target. In the past couple months alone, three limo drivers were killed in robberies. Many drivers I spoke with have been held up.
H: What is the craziest cabbie story you were told?
AB: Not surprisingly, the craziest stories involve sex and drugs. One of my favorites involves a transvestite prostitute robbing a driver by holding one of her stiletto heels to his head like a weapon. Another cabbie told of driving into the sunrise while his hooker passengers drank 40s and smoked crack in his backseat. And then there’s the sex. I mean, we all know that sex in cabs happens, but I had no idea of the extent.
H: What was the most touching?
AB: My book has plenty of stories of passengers and drivers sharing a special moment, and forging a special bond of mutual respect and understanding. But for me, the most touching stories were also the most disturbing, the ones that really pushed the boundaries. One cab driver had a teenage boy die of a stab wound in his cab during the 80s. The story is packed with action, but it’s also about the cabbie’s personal journey, his fear and his grief. Another touching story has a post 9/11 theme, and is about a misunderstanding between a Muslim cabbie and his passenger, a well-traveled woman. They actually leap out of the cab to yell accusations at each other. But they reached a point of understanding and ended up hugging on the street.
Sounds interesting to say the least, yes? Why not swing by Word Books tonight for an evening of taxicab goodness?
Meet The Author: Taxi Confidential
September 16, 2009 starting at 7:30 p.m.
Word Books
142 Franklin Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222
Oh yeah, Ms. Braunschweiger will also be bringing along some special cabbie guests!
Miss Heather
Vito Lopez Has Won…
…or would that be Steve Levin? Vito’s monkeys were in effect yesterday evening in Greenpoint. At the subway exit on India Street, immediately outside Mary D’s Senior Center at 80 Dupont Street. When the Mister reminded them of the 100 foot rule they were defiant and obnoxious— but moved. They took to canvassing the local liquor stores instead. Fly monkeys, fly!
Per Brooklyn11211:
The carpetbagger from Bushwick seems to have won the nomination for the Democratic ticket for the City Council seat for the 33rd District. Lucky us. Vito has been screwing Greenpoint and Williamsburg for years; perhaps now Levin will kiss us first? I doubt it.
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Consumer Product Watch: Squizz
For that special someone in your life who is suffering from a bad hair day I present to you “Squizz”!
AKA: Gorilla Snot.
I implored to Mister to purchase this product (which is available at Lorven Pharmacy for a sweet $3.98!) and give it a try but he demurred.
I guess he is a “Daddy Yankee” man.
Miss Heather
Happy Primary Day From New York Shitty!
Filed under: 11211, 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn
Yes folks, today is the big day. I suspect I speak for many when I write that —regardless of who wins what has turned out to be one of the sleaziest races for a city council seat in recent history— I’ll be delighted to simply to have the barrage of mailers and automated phones cease and online excrescences such as this* to lose their raison d’etre and vanish in a puff of irrelevance. To close on a related note, Atlantic Yards Report has written a splendid post as to why they endorse Jo Anne Simon. I strongly recommend that any and all who will hitting the primaries today to vote for the 33rd district’s next Democratic party candidate read it.
Happy voting!
Miss Heather
*Until recently these clowns were spamming the unholy bejeezus out of the CB1 Yahoo group. Here’s an example of one of their more insane tomes. Goodbye and good riddance.
From The New York Shitty Inbox: Putting The “Man” in Manhattan Avenue Park
Filed under: 11222, Advanced Life Forms, Area 51, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
Jay Lombard (who sent me the delightful images gracing this post) writes:
Wish you were here! Older gentleman in speedo. Glad to see some one is using the park… Best I could do without getting too close. Got the moon and the sun at the same time today.
Take THAT Long Island City!
Miss Heather
New York Shitty Day Starter: Separated At Birth…
Filed under: 11101, 11222, Bloomblight, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Long Island City, Queens
or would that be death?
Colleen writes: not to take away from your own adventures in shit condos, thought you’d enjoy this.
Enjoy it I did (although Cheapshit failed to mention vibramassage beds in the above post). I laughed my ass off. Here’s another corker.
From their website
The Cobrizo @ Lake Union, combines affordability with spectacular views of Lake Union. The buildings trendy industrial exterior flows into the interior where interesting colors, angles and transitions between rooms emulate an active urban lifestyle.
WTF are they talking about?!?
By “emulate an active urban lifestyle” they must mean living directly on one of Seattle’s biggest highways, Aurora. Do not actively run across the highway in front, you will die…
I take issue with this. At least the Cobrizo has nice cement barriers to prevent some hapless idiot from driving into some other hapless idiot’s living room.
Last month in Greenpoint, Brooklyn U.S.A. a traffic light and one of Mayor Mike’s 1,000,000 trees “took one for the team”.
This little mishap blocked McGuinness Boulevard for hours. I have no idea how the chair factors into this. It has four legs; it could have, should have run. Maybe it did? In any case it does not appear to be very happy.
The “305 Lofts” were planned as condominiums but have since been dumped into rental property— with a few hilarious bumps along the way. I suspect the proximity to McGuinness Boulevard and being located one block away from the east coast’s largest waste treatment plant might have something to do with this. But I digress. Let’s proceed to the supreme grotesque— the purpose of this post.
In regards to the latter Cheapshit writes:
In these days of Seattle condo market freefall, we don’t build new condos. We almost tear down old buildings that were perfectly livable and leave them undemolished while making web sites about the fancy condo towers that we might build. This near pile of rubble one year later is the site of the “Seneca Towers”. The developer Levin Menzies, living in California, seems to have lost interest in this project. This is also what happens when you let developers run your city.
Same goes in New York Shitty. Who needs history or character when condos beckon?
Different coast, same story.
I am certain when the time comes the “Toch” facade will be lavished the same attention to historic and stylistic detail as this Karl Fischer masterpiece on Richardson Street.
Or this, his latest turd, 200 Franklin Street.
Both of the previous abominations were built by virtue of “modification” permits that are doled out New York City’s very own Department of Buildings regularly. Slapping obnoxious residential towers atop industrial properties is Karl’s forte. He is a one man race to the bottom.
This is what happens when developers run your city.
Miss Heather
Cheapshit, Queens Crap and I should do a bi-coastal critique of condo crap. It could be fun.







































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