Spotted At 205 Java Street: A Happy Ending

June 7, 2011 ·
Filed under: 11222, Culture War, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

Some of you might recall the above bit of real estate insanity. I wrote about it on January 25th of this year. At the end of this tome I opined:

…My prognostication is as follows: if they fuck with their diminutive neighbor’s satellite television it will be war. Provided of course it hasn’t escalated to that level already.

Well, today I did a walk by and have some very good news to relay!

The satellite dish has been spared! After I took the above photographs the lady of the house inquired as to my interest in her property. I told her I was happy to see that her satellite dish has not been engulfed. To wit she replied:

I’m too good for them.

I then noted that her new neighbor is rather hideous. She agreed— but prefers to see the glass half full; since 285 – 303 McGuinness Boulevard has become her neighbor she no longer has issues with the wind (I am presuming the “perfume” from our local waste water treatment plant) and she no longer hears the traffic from McGuinness Boulevard. Now throw in that our diminutive protagonist’s satellite television is intact and I’d say we have a triple win— Greenpoint style!

Miss Heather

Spotted On McGuinness Boulevard: Imperialism

January 25, 2011 ·
Filed under: 11222, Abjectecture, Asshole, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

Given the spate of rather nasty weather lately yours truly has been spending a great deal of time indoors. Today when the temperature reached a downright balmy 38 degrees I decided to take a little stroll down McGuinness Boulevard. I had a very pleasurable excursion until I reached the intersection of Java Street. This is where I found myself standing in slack-jawed amazement at the following.

Why do the people responsible for this crap think mimicking the Death Star somehow denotes “class”?

I mumbled to myself. Then I proceeded to cross the street so as to take a closer look. That’s when I learned that the above edifice may very well have the same expansionist designs, “Manifest Destiny” if you will, as espoused by Darth Vader, et. al.

Why can I not shake the image of a python unhinging its jaws and slurping down a rather large and unhappy mammal— or perhaps a spider injecting some digestive substance into its victim and waiting for it to rot from within— when I behold the above grotesque? Needless to say I will be watching with rapt interest to see how the guys at 285-303 McGuinness Boulevard (which has racked up a rather impressive number of complaints and a Partial Stop Work Order) will work around this little problem. My prognostication is as follows: if they fuck with their diminutive neighbor’s satellite television it will be war. Provided of course it hasn’t escalated to that level already.

In any case (and to close), I suspect no one will be surprised to know this edifice (which I have christened “The Anacondo”) springs forth from the G-E-N-I-U-S, north Brooklyn’s good friend and Greenpoint’s gift that keeps on giving … (drumroll, please)

Bobby Scarano, stand up please!

Miss Heather

P.S.: Anyone care to place bets as to when Fox News/Murdoch’s Tuskin Raiders send a television crew out to document this atrocity? They point and click in single file (to my web site) to hide their numbers!

  • NYS Flickr Pool

    Christmas Tree Shopping CartQueensIt's a LifestyleThe Plywood Protection Project Behin Ha Design Studios Be Heard VAtlantic Avenue–Barclays Center StationElevated View from TrainThe Cold Winter AheadOrange Car
  • Ads