New York Shitty Day Ender: Mrs. Bloomberg

January 10, 2011 ·
Filed under: 10009, East Village, East Village Manhattan, The Word On The Street 

Hands off bitch, he’s mine!

Miss Heather

P.S.: Just kidding.

New York Shitty Day Ender: Lorimer Street

June 12, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11211, Asshole, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

If I were a kid and looking at what’s going on with all the college graduates this year, and how tough it is to get a job, I think I might want to get an education because I don’t want to spend the rest of my life not being able to make a living.

— Bloomberg on why kids should pay full fare

I agree (with tongue firmly in cheek). What’s more, maybe they’ll learn to spell your name correctly when they tell you to fuck off Mike.

Miss Heather

Quote props: a big New York Shitty shout out of gratitude goes to Kevin Walsh of Forgotten New York for forwarding this corker of a quote to my attention. For those of you seeking more crapola commentary from our fair mayor look no further. Read this. Which comes courtesy of Pa Heather. Pa Heather opines:

It is pathetic when something like this happens and all the flaming assholes come out of the wood work.

Indeed.

From The New York Shitty Inbox: Gentrification?!?

iwanttolivehere

Interesting things happen when I stay up late. Mind you, they are not usually good things. But this case may very well be an exception: in the wee hours of the morning today the following found its way into my inbox.

Anni Atkinson of Earthsharing.org.au (Yes kids, that’s Australia) writes:

have you ever heard of GENTRIFICATION?

well, not many people have which is surprising as it effects us all.

so, I am attempting to do something about this! well, me and the team at Earthsharing Australia! I work with a not-for-profit called Earthsharing that offers free education services on economics and we focus on economic justice for all.

Currently we are working on an international film competition with the theme of ‘Gentrification’ which looks at issues of gentrification and how such cycles effect creative communities and artists in our cities. First Prize is $3000, with runner up prizes from Madman and Crumpler.

your blog is rad and we would be honored if you could throw a little love our way and mention the film competition to your readers!

Please contact me for more details including a press release or an e-flyer.

In the mean time, check out our website for more details!

The first line of this email made me erupt into fits of uncontrollable (and demented) laughter. Have I heard of gentrification? Feeling more than a little raffish, I wrote back:

You are asking  ME, a resident of Greenpoint, Brooklyn, USA (which is located pretty much halfway around the globe from you), to inform my readership about film competition about  GENTRIFICATION?!? Greenpoint: a neighborhood where a “luxury” condos proliferate in the shadow of the east coast’s largest WASTE TREATMENT PLANT? Where environmental issues the likes of which you cannot begin to comprehend remain unabated. And yet artists are being pushed out because there are people willing to dole out $2,000+ USD rent for a one bedroom/studio for this?

Give me the fuggin’ flier, your creds and press release— STAT.

Well, she did.

earthsharingNYS

I’ve done some poking around and this contest is 100% legit. Let’s show our friends down under how our fair city treats the creative community and everyone else who cannot a condo or $2,000 a month rent? You can get the 411 on how to enter this contest by checking out Earthsharing’s web site or by emailing them at: timmah (at) earthsharing (dot) org (dot) au

NOTE: they are currently requiring that entries be mails. I have suggested they accept submissions via YouTube as mailing matter overseas can be both costly and dicey. They are looking into it.

Otherwise, you can play the Gentrification Game by clicking here. Simply put you are a landlord/speculator and your goal is to kick out tenants. Play it. It’s a fucking HOOT!

Miss Heather

P.S.: Earthsharing also has a number of interesting videos on YouTube. Check ’em out. You’ll find the tales contained therein eerily familiar.

From The New York Shitty Inbox: Helicopters?

Shashi writes:

know anything about those incessant helicopters over greenpoint from 6-7:30 in the morning? traffic copters? how does one complain about them?

Truth be told Shashi, I am not 100% clear on what your recourse is. However if you are writing in reference to the helicopters flying around the waterfront this morning methinks I can give you answer. I have it on very good intelligence that our very own Mayor was in the far north Garden Spot conducting some kind of dog and pony show which we will undoubtedly be subjected to in the near future. I am certain the message will (more or less) be:

Everything’s just great!

Had our fearless leader bothered to actually step out where the common peasants live he would quickly ascertain things most decidedly are not.

gunman

Looks like the natives are getting restless.

swastika

I hate Greenpoint Nazis.

Some of my colleagues amplifiers in the print media might have noticed I have given no indication whatsoever as to where either of the previous items are to be found. You can rest assured they are in Greenpoint and the lack of naming their specific locations was no oversight on my part. If you are going to earn your livelihood plagiarizing my work I’m going to make good and damned sure to make you work for it.

Now that I have undoubtedly sent a pack of hack reporters scurrying around the Garden Spot looking for Nazi lamp posts*, do you have any advice, dear readers as to how Shashi should handle her noise problem? My educated guess is she needs to call 311 and file a complaint with the Department of Environmental Protection.

Miss Heather

*Oh yeah— if think you’re being clever by referencing the comment Tony left on this post:

This is much better than the swastikas I’ve been noticing on lamp post bases lately… just saw another today on Nassau @ Russell.

You’re not. As of 3:00 this afternoon there were no swastikas whatsoever to be found at this location. My guess is (given the police presence I saw there) they had been made note of and removed. Happy hunting!

  • NYS Flickr Pool

    Pigeon outside funeral homeSuited for the RainThe Waiting RainI Love MH (Monster Hunter)Play Sand34th Street & Herald Square StationEvans and Little StreetsVinegar Hill - January 2019
  • Ads