New York Shitty Video du Jour: Blowin’ In The Wind

March 29, 2011 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

At last night’s meeting at Red Star Bar I was tipped off that St. Elia’s Church— or more specifically the crucifix gracing this landmarked property was showing signs of distress. Today I decided to do walk-by and see this for myself.

Sure enough, the wind was a blowing and it was a shakin’.

Curiously enough, nary a single complaint appears to have been filed with the Department of Buildings. Anyone care to kick things off with a call to 311?

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Starter: The American Playground

March 26, 2011 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

Kicking off this sunny— if brisk— weekend I present to you this bit of leisure time captured at the American Playground yesterday.

For those of you who are wondering, the area adjacent to 49 Noble Street is still cordoned off due to falling debris. For those of you keeping track this makes over three months and counting.

It would appear, however, that some kind of detritus catcher has been put in place. What can we expect in the way of action to follow this most auspicious development?

If this (from the Department of Buildings web site) is any indication, I’d say not much.

Miss Heather

Daily Bloomblight: 365 – 367 Union Avenue

February 25, 2011 ·
Filed under: 11211, Bloomblight, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

It would appear that despite seemingly being stalled and having a partial Stop Work Order* this Scarano Special has a tenant.

Among other things.

Miss Heather

*the reason for which is so exquisite it simply must be shared here.

Interesting factoid: this troubled property has netted five Stop Work Orders to date.

Daily Bloomblight: 164 West Street

February 19, 2011 ·
Filed under: 11222, Bloomblight, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

Anyone need a toilet seat?

Miss Heather

P.S.: Meanwhile at 32 India Street

Same song, different verse. And Greenpoint knows the tune all too well.

Quicklink: Ignoble Street

January 18, 2011 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

Greenpoint residents have a message for the shadowy owner of a waterfront lot — tear down this fence! The chain-link fence bars traffic or pedestrians from the western end of Noble Street, which offers wonderful views of Manhattan and access to the waterfront. It is owned by firebrand developer Joshua Guttman, who owns the former Greenpoint Terminal Market building and several other sites nearby. The warehouse building was the site of a massive fire four years ago, and some believe that lax security led to the arson…

My buddy over at Queens Crap writes in regards to the above passage from this story by the Brooklyn Paper:

He’s kidding, right?

Who’s to say? What I want to know is if our “community leaders” and/or “open space advocates” have asked Mr. Guttman when he plans to conduct repairs on 49 Noble Street. As some of you might recall this building’s losing battle against the elements; lack of proper maintenance; and/or gravity resulted in the closure of part of the American Playground last December.

For those of you who are keeping track this barricade has been in place for one month now.

Miss Heather


Daily Bloomblight: Happy New Year From 98 Clay Street!

January 1, 2011 ·
Filed under: 11222, Bloomblight, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

This vision comes courtesy of 98 Clay Street (AKA: 141 Dupont Street) which as many of you recall has been problematic for a very, very long time. Aside from the occasional Stop Work Order this “property” sports a dubious achievement which places it six feet below its peers: a man was found dead here in 2009. In any case, if what I saw this morning is any indication of what 98 Clay Street has in store for 2011 I’d say we’re in for a very exciting year!

Miss Heather

From The New York Shitty Inbox, Part II: Signs of Life at The Sweater Factory Lofts?

December 28, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

The tipster who took the above photograph writes:

Open? Vacate notices removed and door propped open. There’s even someone shoveling sidewalk out front.

New York Shitty “glass half full” analysis:

At least they are cleaning the sidewalk.

New York Shitty “glass half empty” analysis:

There is still a Vacate Order on this property.

Whoops.

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Ender: 14 Bayard Street

(Or: Rapunzel Special)

Rounding out today’s postage I leave you with this absurdity from 14 Bayard Street (the final addition— and thank god for that— to Karl Fischer Row). Me (to my friend Triborough):

It’s pretty impressive that this building isn’t even inhabited yet, but the balconies are already rusted.

Pre-rusted so you don’t have to!

He replied. To wit I pointed out the obvious:

I wonder what is up with that top balcony? Is this like in Albania where they used to simply leave the top unfinished with rebar sticking out so they can come back and add another floor later? We must look at the front of this building!

And so we did.

Let me guess: the owner of this building has a friend in the balcony business. It went something like this:

You want balconies? I’ll give you balconies! Meet me under the BQE at 3:00 a.m. I have a truckload of ’em!

To wit Triborough presciently replied:

Maybe it is like the spare tire for a car? If one breaks they have one ready to replace it?

Indeed. This is what happens when you “design” and build your King’s crap by the yard. The Balkan balconies of yesteryear can be yours in Williamsburg today, dear readers— for a price. I can hardly wait until this gem hits the market!

UPDATE, December 21, 2010: It would appear that Fox News wasted no time sending out a television crew to “get the scoop” on this most important news item. Read it and weep.

Miss Heather

P.S.: This building has a “Partial Stop Work Order” on it— but not for this non-balcony!

Point here, click and see for yourself!

Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: American Playground, Revisited

December 19, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

American Playground 12192010

Yes folks, it would appear that the area adjacent to 49 Noble Street has been cordoned off by our Parks Department. Exactly how long this barricade will remain in place is anyone’s guess.

Why I find this laudable, I would like to offer one piece of constructive criticism.

Signs in Polish and Spanish need to be put in place. It has been my observation quite a few patrons of this park are not fluent English speakers— much less English readers.

Just a thought.

Miss Heather

From The New York Shitty Inbox, Part II: What’s Up At The American Playground?

December 13, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

A lady named Michelle writes the evening of December 12, 2010:

Hi Miss Heather,

Was walking my dog a few nights ago and we happened upon a curious notice posted at the American Playground on Franklin – right across from Word.  Seems the place has been condemned and is “imminently perilous to life.”  I’ve seen these outside gnarly looking buildings that seem like they may cave in on the squatters living in them, but any idea why American Playground has earned the notice?

Would send a picture, but I’m never out there with my phone.

Just curious.

As you can imagine I found this more than a little disturbing so this morning I headed over without delay.

Sure enough, there was a Vacate Order on the premises— but why?

When I checked the Department of Buildings database I could find no indication whatsoever such an order was issued. On a lark I then checked the Department of Buildings database regarding the adjacent property, 60 West Street*. What I found was quite interesting.

Was this the reason such an order was served? There is no way to tell conclusively (this complaint is from last year) but I would not rule it outside the realm of possibility. Especially since I have it on excellent intelligence that falling debris from this property has been an issue in the past. But I suppose for the time being we’ll have to be content to walk away from this mystery with more questions than answers. On that note, I would like to leave you with this final question.

If the American Playground has a Vacate Order in place due to “conditions imminently perilous to life”, why is it open today? Thoughts anyone?

Miss Heather

*Which, as some of you may recall, is a live poultry storage facility.



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