New York Shitty Day Ender: Heaven & Hell On Kingsland Avenue

May 13, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

stimuluspackage1

manwithbike

mary

pinkflamingo

maryjesusandjoseph

hell

maryandjesus

Taken May 13, 2009.

Miss Heather

East Williamsburg Street Seating Du Jour: Scholes Street

May 13, 2009 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Street Furniture, Williamsburg 

I have been despondent at the recent dearth of good street seating to be found in north Brooklyn of late. My theory is this due to the recession. People tightening their belts = less people upgrading to new furniture. Less new furniture = less old furniture to be discarded. You get the idea. The previous having been written I came across a bevy of beauties on Scholes Street today. Enjoy!

naugahyde

Subterranean Naugahyde.

dalmation

A dalmatian dining chair.

dejo

A study in complementary colors.

mod

Mod with aluminum siding.

turtlesandfrogs

Yes, I know. This ensemble does not qualify as street furniture per se— but who could resist posting it!

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Ender: East Williamsburg Colors

May 12, 2009 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Williamsburg 

whitechair

sitters

steeples

boriqua

polio

moorestmarket

drpryors

liga

shirtlessman

bored

From Graham Avenue & Moore Street.

Miss Heather

East Williamsburg Photo Du Jour: Packaged

April 30, 2009 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

packaged

From Graham Avenue.

Miss Heather

East Williamsburg Street Art Du Jour: Slice

April 28, 2009 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Street Art 

streetpizza

From Montrose Avenue.

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Ender: Redemption

April 26, 2009 ·
Filed under: Clinton Hill, Williamsburg 

Sunday is (ostensibly) a day of rest and spiritual contemplation in most of north Brooklyn. Hence why I’m going to end this day’s posts with the following.

abandon-all-hope

Abandon all hope ye who use this pay phone (on Graham Avenue).

captain-zorikh

But redemption can be found down the street.

captains-prefer-fedders

Sort of.

182-graham-avenue

Per Captain Zorikh this is the place to get it. For the record 182 Graham Avenue is a SRO. Single. Room. Occupancy. Where, long ago, I had one of the most interesting— and curiously enough— least degrading (but odd) interviews for a sublet I have ever had. You can leave it to Dutch dominatrix to separate the wheat from the chaff. Or give me street cred for looking at a lavender wall replete with paddles, whips, chains and not being perturbed. In my (admittedly limited) experience the above-board sexual perverts (and I mean this in the kindest way) are benign. It’s the co-called normal ones, e.g.; bohunks wearing New York Yankees ball caps incorrectly (READ: backwards) who are dangerous.* But I digress.

A few years later I went to a party in same said building and told Mister Heather:

Had I not landed the apartment we have now, this is where I would have lived. You can still see the indentations where the restraints were anchored to the wall.

I failed miserably in the cooler-than-thou world that is the East Williamsburg apartment share scene. Which is curious because I excel at failure— something many East Williamsburg artists court— albeit ironically. I suppose I didn’t look stylish enough in my desperation. Or was *gasp* TOO OLD. So in Greenpoint remained. THANK GOD.

the-love-chapel

The Love Chapel: R.I.P. and available to rent!

jesus-saves-on-graham-ave

But Jesus still saves.

jesus-vs-the-beast

And Satan is around the corner!

redemption-on-navy-streetnys

You want redemption? The best place I found today was on Navy Street in DUMBO. Good luck.

Miss Heather

*Those of you who seek them can find them in the East Village.

EAST WILLIAMSBURG RECESSION WATCH: What Do You Want On Your Tombstone?

April 17, 2009 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

(Or, Ask For Jerry)

monument-close-uplilletlangtry

Once in a blue moon I will have one of those weeks when a number of readers bring something to my attention. This week it was the above sign advertising fresh brick oven bread. This may not seem remarkable to most of you— nor should it be. It’s the location of this sign that makes it so darned interesting. Chad writes:

I had to share.  If you find yourself near the Graham L stop, check out Grande Monuments on Graham Ave.  I’m sure you’ve seen it.  It has clocks and weird shit in the windows to remind you that your time is limited.  And they sell grave markers / headstones.  Only now they also sell fresh baked bread too.  In the window next to a grave marker – there is a tiered baguette stand with fresh bread for purchase.

I was precluded from heading there yesterday and documenting this personally. However, my colleague Lillet Langtry has done so and  generously gave me permission to use her photographs. After all seeing really is believing, right?

monument-storelilletlangtry

She writes:

Apparently the recession has spurred a side business: Fresh Baked Bread! No need for funeral baked meats or nothin!

Indeed. As some of you might be aware Mr. Heather works at a hospital. In the way of recession-proof employment it simply does not get much better than this. I mean, as long as there are human beings some of them will get sick or die, right? This unique business model has forced me to rethink this theory. Perhaps the recession has forced some folks to table kicking the bucket until their families can afford to inter them in the manner to which they would like to become accustomed? Stranger things have happened. I suppose we should go ask Jerry.

Grande Monuments/Brick Oven* Bakery
328 Graham Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11211

Miss Heather

*A comrade’s crematorium? I can only hope so!

Photo Credits: Lillet & Trey. Thanks!

East Williamsburg Photos Du Jour: McKibben Street

April 17, 2009 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Williamsburg 

leg

winterinamerica

angst

toronto

amazingdome

Taken April 13, 2009.

Miss Heather

Subway Poster Du Jour: M Is For MILF

April 15, 2009 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Vomit, Williamsburg 

misformilf

Just when I thought television couldn’t possibly inflict anything worse on the viewing public I discovered this advertisement at Montrose Avenue stop of the L. Is it just me or do these young bucks look like they’re queued up for a gang bang? I suppose, metaphorically speaking, they are. I guess I should just be content that these gents have shirts on. Nonetheless I still find myself asking:

Why god, why?

Miss Heather

Greenwick Photos Du Jour: Never Forget

April 15, 2009 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

neverforget

Commercial Street

neverforgetpeaceking

neverforget2

Harrison Place

Miss Heather

P.S.: In related news Construction Safety Week is cometh— and soon!

constructionsafetyweek

Just in time for Pa Heather’s visit to our fair city! Boy is he in for a treat.

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