Found In East Williamsburg

April 1, 2009 ·
Filed under: Asshole, Bushwick, Williamsburg 

asshole1

Hmm… I wonder what that round thing is? I think I’ll go over and get a closer look.

asshole2

If anyone out there is missing an asshole no worries, I found it on Varet between Bogart and White Street. You might want to tote along a little Charmin. He (or she) looks a little “soiled”.

Miss Heather

Greenwick Photos Du Jour: More Urban Fur

March 19, 2009 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Crazy Cat Lady, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

meserolestcalico

Meserole Street

maspethavetabby

Maspeth Avenue

mccarrenparkbully

North 12 Street

brunomugsniffer

Norman Avenue*

petsontherun

Manhattan Avenue

blowtorchharry

Franklin Street

Miss Heather

*This lovely photograph comes courtesy of Mugsniffer. He knows premium pussy when he sees it!

Greenwick Photos Du Jour: The Word On The Street

March 18, 2009 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

kyle

Lorimer Street

haveagreatday

Norman Avenue

visa

Jewel Street

now

Meeker Avenue

yorsnys

Vandervoort Avenue

iloveyoupowersst

Powers Street

i-heart-money

Grand Street

bornrulermeadownys

Meserole Street

yo

ourheartslie

White Street

exceptusnys

no-war

Cook Street

Miss Heather

Calling All Shittites: Contributors & Tips Wanted

mrpoopyheadthumbNow that my life has resumed some sense of normalcy (or at least as close as it gets with yours truly) I can finally get around to doing a few things I’ve been meaing to do but have gotten lost in the shuffle. Soliciting tips and contributors is foremost among these things.

Over the last few months I have increasingly come to the opinion that New York Shitty would be augmented with the addition of some other, new “voices”. Recent events (such as the untimely passing of Bob Guskind and the impending demise of the Greenpoint Courier) and my growing acceptance of the fact that I am only one person have made me realize that expanding the content on this site and providing a large forum are much more important than I had previously thought.

So here’s the deal: if you are interested in being a contributor to this site please email me at missheather (at) thatgreenpointblog (dot) com. But before closing this post I would like to make my criteria/preferences/”plan” known:

1. I do not consider New York Shitty to be exclusively a “place blog”. However, there are some geographical areas I tend to focus on more than others: Greenpoint (obviously), Williamsburg, East Williamsburg, Bushwick, southwestern Queens and to a more limited extent: Bedford Stuyvesant and the East Village. Here’s a map to give you a general idea of what/where I am talking about.

nysmap

The previous having been written I want to make it clear that I am open to material from outside this area. I simply do not want it to override the north Brooklyn-centric nature of this site.

2. What kind of content am I looking for? I’m pretty open to suggestions. One thing I would really like to have happen is feature an adoptable pet once a week. If this sounds like something you are interested in doing, let me know. Otherwise I want to make it clear what I do not want: schmaltz. If you are going to write about your children it better be fucking good. Family Circus (and its ilk) put me in a blind rage. It also goes without saying that racist, sexist, classist, anti-Semitic, homophobic material, etc.— in other words hate speech— will not be published.

3. What’s in it for me? New York Shitty is not a for profit site, therefore I cannot afford to pay you. However, plans to convert this site (along with a redesign!) are in the works. So perhaps some day compensation will be involved. For the time being, however, a little publicity and/or link love is all I can offer.

4. Please be literate.

5. Unless you have sustained a serious brain injury or have multiple personalities please refer to yourself in the first person. Which brings me to my final point…

6. Please do not be insane. The world wide web has enough crazy people posting crazed missives on it already. I have no intention of adding to this problem.

This is pretty much all I can think of. I want to leave the possibilities for this site as open as possible.

Thanks and I look forward to hearing from you.

Miss Heather

Map Image Credit: Google Maps

An East Williamsburg Public Service Announcement

March 2, 2009 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

gemdiscount

Yesterday I was busy doing what I imagine a number of my fellow New Yorkers were actively in engaged in doing: purchasing groceries and essentials before the big snowstorm hit. One stop on my itinerary was the Gem Super Value Store on Grand Street to purchase some boxer shorts.

notgoingout

Upon entering I noticed a most curious sign in this day and age of recession.A missive of “we are not going out of business” variety. Wanting to know what required its creation I took the matter up with the cashier. She was more than happy to give me the scoop.

geminterior

Apparently their establishment’s decision to do some remodelling has been a source of confusion to the community. A number of customers have approached the staff concerned that the store— a loved place to purchase housewares— was going to close. In addition a number of real estate agents have made inquiries for their own nefarious purpose: drumming up a little business. So it was decided a sign was in order to clear up any confusion as to what is going on at 695 Grand Street.

The Gem Store at 695 Grand Street is not— REPEAT— NOT going out of business. East Williamburgers your beloved housewares connection is safe and sound. What’s more, they are doing quite well. And as for all you real estate agents who have been pestering the staff: there’s plenty of recession-induced misery to go around. Just not here. Enough already.

Super Gem Discount Store
695 Grand Street
Brooklyn, New York 11211

Miss Heather

Williamspoint Photos Du Jour: Fire Hydrant Cavalcade

February 28, 2009 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

evergreenave

Evergreen Avenue, East Williamsburg/Bushwick.

powerssthydrant

Powers Street, Williamsburg.

driggsavejacket

Driggs Avenue, Williamsburg.

hydrantwithbelvedere

Java Street, Greenpoint.

unifiedmass

India Street, Greenpoint.

Miss Heather

East Williamsburg Photo Du Jour: Welcome

February 26, 2009 ·
Filed under: Fedders Friday, Vinyl Siding, Williamsburg 

welcomenys

From Ainslie Street.

Miss Heather

Bushwick Photos Du Jour: The Word On The Street

February 25, 2009 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Williamsburg 

hope1

Jefferson Street.

harrisonplace

freewelsey

mmm

Harrison Place.

loveandresistance

Boerum Street.

lookinatus2

hammertime

Bogart Street.

Miss Heather

North Brooklyn Photos Du Jour: NO PARKING

February 24, 2009 ·
Filed under: Area 51 

moultrienoparking

Moultrie Street.

guernseystnoparking

Guernsey Street.

noparkingteneyck

Ten Eyck Street.

nparkingponmanhattanave

Manhattan Avenue.

Miss Heather

East Williamsburg Photos Du Jour: Meet The Graham Avenue Meat

February 24, 2009 ·
Filed under: Area 51, Bum Shit, Bushwick, Dog Shit, Dung of the Day, Other Shit, Vomit, Williamsburg 

meatinside

Meat on the inside…

vomitorshitorworse

and WTF on the out.

When Mr. Heather got home from work I asked him what he thought the above-depicted thing was. He said (in his unprofessional opinion) it was vomit from a dog who had eaten sausage with a lot of red dye in it (because he has seen this happen before). All I know is whoever (or WHATEVER) discharged this (one of the most revolting things I have ever seen in New York City— and this is really saying something) should probably visit a doctor…

or an exorcist.

Miss Heather

P.S.: I puked a little inside while writing this post.

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