Notes From The 94th Precinct Community Council Meeting

Yours truly didn’t feel like going— but she went anyway. I’m glad I did! For starters (and by Greenpoint standards, anyway) the meeting was pretty mellow. This is a good thing since I was not really in the mood for some of the angrier and uglier rhetoric that can (and does) come to pass at these meetings. This is not to suggest there wasn’t anger: there most assuredly was. The difference was the people (ladies all) who aired their ire were (as a friend noted) so darned nice about it! Bicyclists, illegal sidewalk vendors, impertinent youths and liquor licenses all get the treatment at the hands (or would that be mouths) of these ladies. One such lass made an observation so piquant that she has henceforth earned my undying admiration. But I am getting ahead of myself. Without further ado here is footage from last night’s meeting— along with synopses and a bit of analysis from yours truly. Enjoy!

Part I: D. I. Fulton gives opening statements/props and a general rundown of crime trends.

The Rundown:

  • Grand larceny auto and burglaries are up, everything else is down.
  • Vehicle accidents are down 4.1%
  • D. I. Fulton explains that since the crime stats for the 94th are so low that one or two burglaries can skew the crime statistics upward.
  • A spate of robberies via a man riding a bicycle centering (roughly) around “Woodpoint Road and Conselyea Street”. This individual has since been apprehended and identified in a line-up by two victims. NOTE: this chap’s activities came to pass between (once again: roughly) 1:00 and 2:00 a.m. in the morning and his victims were women in their 20’s.
  • D. I. Fulton talks about burglaries.

Part II: D. I. Fulton speaks about car break-ins and the public speaks!

  • Arrests are up 24.7%
  • A case of Greenpoint roof theft
  • D. I. Fulton advises runners patronizing McCarren Park to mind their personal property.
  • One citizen applauds the 94th for apprehending a man who exposed himself to her and her daughter— and physically threatened them at North 7 Street and Bedford Avenue.
  • Same said citizen complains about illegal street vendors.

Part III: The Public Speaks, continued

  • Illegal vendors, continued
  • A general discourse on unruly behavior in general on Bedford Avenue and Williamsburg in general.
  • A Greenpoint resident queries D. I. Fulton about vehicle theft: there were 13 over the summer and 109 total.

Parts IV & V: The Public Speaks, continued

The aforementioned Greenpoint resident complains about Five Leaves’s use of the sidewalk (allegedly after permitted hours for a “sidewalk cafe”) and follows is a general discussion:

  • A burglary on Bedford Avenue
  • A lady from the Lions Club gives the 94th props

  • Bicyclists
  • Street closures and parties, e.g.; do they require permits?
  • Other things including— but not limited to— one of the most awesome observations (or dare I hope: promises) I have ever heard at a 94th Precinct Community Council Meeting. Go to 2:31 and hear it for yourself!
  • There are 97 liquor licenses pending (including a renewal for the Production Lounge*). D.I. Fulton explains this as “growing pains”.
  • Parties
  • Complaints about 311 dropping calls

Closing observations/thoughts:

  1. Once again and all things considered: this meeting was pretty tame.
  2. Nonetheless there was plenty of anger to go around. This mostly centered around aspects of the “new” Williamsburg being a tourist attraction and/or a watering hole of choice. Which brings me to…
  3. the subject of liquor licenses. If the ostensible function of our Community Board is to be the voice of the people and/or institute some semblance of “community standards” their determinations should be more binding. What’s the point of having due process if the SLA (State Liquor Authority) simply looks at their recommendation— let’s say, to deny a liquor and/or Cabaret license— and they issue the license (undoubtedly greased along by lobbyists/parties with deep pockets) anyway? Just a thought.
  4. The previous Op Ed(s) having been written (and to close on a note of levity), I am taking a serious shine to the notion of some exchange program between Greenburg/Williamspoint grannies and ‘noobs in the ‘hood.** I have no doubt the previous can show middle America a few things about partying (take this, for example.) Our friends (far) beyond the Hudson could use some good ol’ north Brooklyn flavor! It builds character.

Miss Heather

*Which inasmuch as much as yours truly can ascertain is STILL operating a monthly strip club. CASE IN POINT:

**I mean this with all due respect. I have grown to absolutely adore Greenpoint grandmas over the years. I simply wish others had the pleasure of enjoying their company. It isn’t so much about “Go back to Ohio”, so to speak, as it is “Get thee to Ohio”— and get us some respect!

Greenpoint Photo Du Jour: Laundry Day

September 22, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

From Humboldt Street.

Miss Heather

From The New York Shitty Photo Pool: Spotted On Humboldt Street

September 6, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

Humboldt Street - Car #2 - 8/4/10

Humboldt Street - Car #1 - 8/4/10

Taken by Lisacat.

Miss Heather

From The New York Shitty Inbox: An Attempted Hit & Run On Nassau Avenue?

This week has been a busy one for yours truly. I have been out more this week than I usually am in a month! Last night after watching a man vomit on the G train platform while a man was playing the banjo and singing a song from a Disney movie I realized what I have been missing. This morning when I checked out my inbox I was reminded that what transpires on the G train is child’s play (no pun intended) compared what goes down on our thoroughfares.  Brandon writes:

For what it’s worth, there was a pretty crazy wreck last night on the corner of Nassau and Humboldt in Greenpoint. My wife and I crossed Nassau walking south, and about 10 seconds after we crossed a medium-sized black SUV whipped down the street at maybe 40 miles an hour and SLAMMED into a parked car on the right side of the street. The SUV almost flipped over, tilting over on its left tires at ALMOST a 90 degree angle, then smashed back down to the ground. The car driver apparently then freaked out and hit the gas hard, slamming into the car just in front of the first one. I think the driver was probably considering a hit and run, but then saw the crowd of about 20 or 30 people gathering around. I called 911, but after about 5 min. left the scene after it appeared that the cops were on their way, and a large crowd had gathered around the vehicles involved. I can’t find a single mention of this in the news, on blog, or on Twitter. Have you heard anything? What happened? Was anyone seriously hurt? Curious if you or your readers know what happened.

So do I. Does anyone have the 411 on this? If so, please share via comments or via email at: missheather (at) thatgreenpointblog (dot) com. Oh yeah: YIKES!

Miss Heather

From The New York Shitty Inbox: Holy Shit

June 19, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

(TITS, that is)

The above screencaps were provided by a woman who knows quality television when she sees it. Lindsay writes:

Our glorious shit tits had a cameo on the show ‘Royal Pains’ recently. It served as a setting for the fourth installment of the movie series “The Trash Collector”. How perfect!

You can see Greenpoint’s most notable assets (and Eighth Wonder of The World) immortalized for all posterity on the small screen by clicking here. Skip forward to  ~39 -40 minute mark because, as Lindsay opines:

The show is awful.

Nonetheless it is a red brown letter day in Greenpoint!

Miss Heather

Found On Scarano’s Shoebox: Toddler?

As many of you have probably observed as you have read this blog yours truly has a “thing” for derelict construction sites (such as the above eyesore which comes courtesy of north Brooklyn’s good friend, Robert Scarano). I also spend a great deal of time documenting street art. So you can imagine my delight when I discovered the following.

A work by Dan Witz on said rusting hulk. I wasn’t the only one who was tickled by this toddler. A woman who had just exited the BQE and was waiting at the light shouted:

The kid’s cute, isn’t he?

To wit I replied:

Yes, he is. That’s about the best thing that can be said for this building.

She laughed and we parted ways.

Perhaps this is the beginning of a trend, e.g,; derelict sites replacing milk cartons as awareness raisers for lost children? I suppose only time will tell.

Miss Heather

From The New York Shitty Inbox: What’s That Smell?

May 19, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

(Another) Heather writes: Do you know what the gas smell is near Norman and Humboldt??? It’s very unpleasant and happening daily; seems to be coming from either Syrena Bakery or the water treatment plant. Just curious.

The funny thing I have observed about living a hop-skip from our waste treatment plant is I rarely smell it. Inasmuch as I can ascertain, McGuinness Boulevard serves as some kind of buffer. For this reason I welcome more “luxury” condos on Brooklyn’s “Boulevard of Death”.

Let the fine people who have the ability to pay $2,000+ a month in rent for “luxury” apartments have the honor of quaffing this stench from their balconies whilest watching more pedestrians and bicyclists being struck by speeding motorists. It’ll be just like ancient Greece, the spectacles of Rome and Death Race 2000 combined. How could I, a simple citizen living in a rent-stabilized apartment, deny them this genuinely Greenpoint experience? But I digress.

I promised Heather that while I had my suspicions as to where the smell was coming from (READ: the waste treatment plant) that I would consult an expert. I did. Here’s what she had to say:

At Norman & Humboldt it could be just about anything. That’s TCE, Oil, Sewage, Solid Waste territory.
But this person should :

  1. Call 311 and state that you are making an “odor complaint” regarding the “Newtown Creek Water Pollution Control Plant” area
  2. Get a reference number
  3. Email the reference number to Christine Holowacz (NCMC liaison— That’s the Newtown Creek Monitoring Authority— Ed. Note) at nc (dot) mc (at) verizon (dot) net

DEP has been very helpful in the past sorting out where smells are originating. Many times it’s coming from them, but many times it isn’t.

It is the “isn’t” that should bother you, dear readers. If you smell something, SAY SOMETHING.

In closing I’d like like to give props to the person whose art work graces this post. It comes from Very Small Array and is one of four cartoons that were rejected by The New Yorker. In 2006.

It’s 2010. Greenpoint has (for reasons which mystify some of its own residents) gained the sinecure as the fifth most livable neighborhood in New York City. We’ve come up in the world. It’s time for a new ditty:

We are Greenpoint, hear us roar.
With a stench you can’t ignore!

Shame on you, New Yorker, for your lack of vision— or would that be olfaction? Change has come! You can smell it in the wind. No worries, you get used to it after awhile.

Miss Heather


New York Shitty Day Starter: Flight

May 18, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

From Humboldt Street.

Miss Heather

From The New York Shitty Inbox: It’s On!

April 16, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

Remember how I reported on Wednesday that the ribbon cutting ceremony for the Newtown Creek Waste Treatment facility’s Visitor’s Center was canceled? Well, it would appear we’re back on!

My advice: RSVP before they change their mind. Get your Shit Tit shirts ready fellow Garden Spotters!

Visitor’s Center Grand Opening
April 24, 2010 10:30 a.m. – 11:30 a.m.
329 Greenpoint Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222

Miss Heather

P.S.: Maybe if we’re lucky Mr. Acconci will do a reenactment of Seedbed for us!

From The New York Shitty Inbox: Canceled

April 14, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

Remember when I announced last month that the ribbon cutting of the Newtown Creek Visitors Center was at long last going to happen April 24, 2010? It would appear this is no longer the case:

I do not think I have to say this but I’m going say it anyway: I am not just disappointed— I am PISSED! Not only have I been busy making preparations for this auspicious occasion but as it would happen it was going to coincide with Ma Heather’s visit to our fair city. Who the hell wants to go to some over-priced snobitorium like MOMA when he (or she) can get an eyeful (and noseful) of art right here in the Garden Spot— with free food no less? I don’t.

Today as I was walking past our cutting edge waste treatment plant facility I wondered to myself:

Exactly WHAT are these people doing?

Then I looked up— and got my answer.

I demand satisfaction.

Miss Heather

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