Greenpoint Photo Du Jour: Roses & Asphalt

July 29, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

roses

From Leonard Street.

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Ender: Urban Artifacts

July 20, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Street Furniture, Urban Artifact, Williamsburg 

streetsushi

Marcy Avenue, 11211

xanax1

xanax2

North 5 Street, 11211

scooter

North 6 Street, 11211

nobedbugs

Leonard Street, 11222

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photo Du Jour: Black & Blue

July 19, 2009 ·
Filed under: Crazy Cat Lady, Greenpoint Magic 

blackcat

From Leonard Street.

Miss Heather

Fun With Bloomblight

Earlier today my good friend Crappy forwarded me this story from NY1 about how over-development has left many buildings in Brooklyn vacant and/or half-finished. As if this was not depressing enough this tome goes on to say that despite this glut of over-priced King’s crap, the building continues. It is projected 5,200 more luxury apartments will find their way onto the market in 2010. Clearly the cardinal rule of how to get out of a hole (stop digging) has been lost on these people.

But developer-induced blight need not be such a downer. Just take what someone anonymous person(s) has done at the vacant lot at 689 Leonard Street, for example.

rockgarden

Yes sir, with a little imagination (construction detritus and some wildflower seeds) you can put the “bloom” back in “bloomblight”!

rockgarden3

And why not throw in a little ornamental brick stacking while you’re at it? It’s not like they’re going anywhere anytime soon.

ROCKGARDEN2

I do not know what this yellow flower (located at far left) is, but I really like it.

rocks

Behold, Greenpoint’s newest high rise! I wonder if it’s a Karl Fischer?

Miss Heather


Greenpoint Photo Du Jour: Big Trouble In Little Poland!

July 16, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

hitlerwashere

From Franklin Street.

Miss Heather

P.S.: While I am on the subject of Greenpoint Nazis, it would appear I have found a new piece of that so-called runic graffiti that caused such media frenzy a few months ago.

morerunes

From The New York Shitty Inbox: Charbroiled Porn?

July 15, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

The ever fabulous Bitchcakes writes:

saw your post where you mentioned resizing photos before sending them to you so your inbox does not get cluttered. I do not know how to do that (Is Mister proficient in basic Mac skillz and if so, would he be interested in giving me a Mac tutorial sometime? I’m really very technologically challenged in some very basic stuff), so I uploaded this for you on Flickr

SCORCHEDPORNbitchcakesNYS

It’s a stash of burned porn in front of 728 Leonard St. I thought it was too hilarious not to share. There’s also a lot of other burned items out front. I wonder if there was a fire around there recently…

First up, I am certain the Mister will be more than happy to help you become more Mac savvy, Bitchcakes. Secondly, as it would happen, he is taking a “personal” day today!* Thirdly, I wonder if this stuff belonged to this guy?

I sense a very special, uh, fact-finding mission coming on!

Miss Heather

*For this reason today’s offerings will be tabled until this evening.

From The New York Shitty Inbox: A Little Larceny?

July 14, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

tandenbikeNYS

M writes:

dear miss heather,

sometime after nine pm last night i experienced the inconceivable loss of my 1970’s Schwinn Twinn tandem bicycle.

someone crow-barred the u-lock off of it at 555 leonard. i called the “helpful” 94th precinct to file a report. they told me i should “find the guy who took it, tell him to meet you in an alley and beat him up”. while this sounds like a fantastic plan, i think i’ll start by canvassing the streets, putting up flyers, and talking to the bike shops around town. i thought i might write to you since me and everyone i know in greenpoint read your blog.

i attached a picture of my most prized possession. sigh. believe it or not, i just brought it here from phoenix a week and a half ago. that’s the street-life of a cool bike in greenpoint i guess. if anyone sees this message, and maybe (fingers-crossed) sees this bike, i would offer an award of $100 to get it back.

thanks for your time.

If anyone has seen this bike (and I doubt there are too many 1970’s Schwinn tandem bikes floating around the Garden Spot— or north Brooklyn for that matter ) please contact the police and/or email me at:

missheather (at) thatgreenpointblog (dot) com.

Thanks!

Miss Heather

Reader Contribution Du Jour: A Falafel Pandemic?

July 14, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

So we have established that on top of the fabulous lady who sells falafel at the corner of Milton and Manhattan Avenue, Bagels On the Run and (presumably) a new Middle Eastern place at 849 Manhattan Avenue will be serving up these chickpea laden delights. Well, as I learned this morning it doesn’t stop there.

falafelNYS

Tony (who took the above photograph) writes:

there must be a falafel pandemic in the point, cause I just saw this on nassau btwn eckford & leonard, where lucky 7 deli was, the little-known beer-specialty deli.

Could Kebabs be Greenpoint’s new “Thai”?

Miss Heather

From The New York Shitty Inbox: A Very Special Treat!

July 3, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

One of the (admittedly) numerous things that puts me in an absolute tizzy is the fact that fewer and fewer Americans read— much less write— the English language on anything resembling a high school level. Inasmuch as this city places a strong emphasis on test scores, what is the point if the person(s) receiving a diploma cannot communicate intelligently? (I won’t bother to go into some of the recent college graduates with whom I have had the pleasure of interfacing; they’re even worse.) This depresses me to no end.

But this morning when I checked my email I found a reason not to be so glum. Butchered spelling can be bonus— albeit under the right circumstances.

Jan writes in an email entitled “Deli Counter ahem”:

I just had to send you this one. Not safe for work!!  Aside from the giggling hipsters noticing, these labels have been there a few days.  heheehheehe.

cocuntcookies

I wonder if these are vegetarian vagitarian friendly?

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Ender: People In My Neighborhood

June 4, 2009 ·
Filed under: Advanced Life Forms, Greenpoint Magic 

chinupsatthepencillofts

Today was a red letter day for yours truly here in the Garden Spot of the Universe. My morning kicked off on a less than auspicious note. After being awakened by Con-Ed tearing up the street in front of my apartment dazed, and more than a little confused, I mistook a bottle of depilatory for sunblock. Luckily I discovered my error quickly enough that I didn’t go blind or end up looking like this.

Nonetheless the utter stupidity of my mistake (and the din outside my living room window) put me in a very shitty mood. When queried by my buddy Larry da Junkman as to how I was doing— unlike many people who ask how you’re doing (in the expectation of the perfunctory “good”, “great” or “how are you”)— Larry actually cares. I told him the ugly truth:

I have been forced to listen to my street being jack hammered for six hours straight while waiting for Verizon to repair our Internet line. They never came. I am in a rotten mood and I’m going for walk.

That’s what I love about New York City; if you want to be left the hell alone you don’t seclude yourself in your home like Howard Hughes, you go out. Barring being run over by a car you can rest assured no one will trouble you with small talk or other time-consuming (and soul-sucking) banalities. Hell, even if you are run over by a car the odds are pretty people will probably leave you alone. For a city where privacy is pretty much a hit or miss affair New Yorker’s are very respectful of each others need to be alone with one’s own thoughts. But I digress.

Perhaps it was the brief glimpse of sunshine this afternoon or my choice of apparel: gray pants, gray thermal top and Mao hat— gray— but my quest for solitude did not happen. Quite to the contrary: a number of gentleman were quite eager to make my acquaintance. I suppose it just goes to show how misguided some women here are in regards to their personal appearance. When it comes to attracting the opposite sex in Greenpoint, chuck the glam and look like a very dour, pissed off one woman cultural revolution waiting to happen instead.

Then again my taste in men has always been a bit eccentric. Just ask my husband. On that note here are a couple of wonderful chaps I met while knocking around the Garden Spot of the Universe while trying to be alone.

joe

Name: Joe
Location: Monitor Street

I’ve featured Joe on New York Shitty before. He’s a regular at McGolrick Park, playing Hank Williams and Johnny Cash songs for the enjoyment or apathy of fellow park goers. Today we met, talked country and western music and he played a few songs for me. Here are a couple selections. Enjoy!

Joe seemed to be surprised I knew who Hank Williams was. Once I told him I was born in Waco, Texas he seemed to understand. We discussed Hank Williams II and III. Joe saw the latter on North 6th Street once and came away nonplussed:

Hell, I sing Hank’s songs better than he did! You gotta put heart into them.

If you happen upon Joe at McGolrick Park ask him to play “Folsom Prison Blues”. It is totally worth the lengthy and very informative and enjoyable discussion you will have with him afterward. Joe has an encyclopedic (and thoroughly fascinating) grasp of music and life in general. What’s more, Joe is a sweetheart who happens to live on one of my favorite thoroughfares: McGuinness Boulevard.

eddieandcoco

Name: Eddie
Location:
Leonard Street just south of Greenpoint Avenue

You can imagine my shock and delight when I crossed paths with the man who gave D.I. Fulton an earful at last month’s 94th Precinct Community Council Meeting. Eddie was kicking back on Leonard Street enjoying a ciggie and a brewski with Coco (as in Coco Chanel— he was very adamant that her namesake be known) when he saw me taking a photograph of 157 Greenpoint Avenue* (which is pretty craptastic— and for rent!). He exclaimed:

Take a picture of my dog!

Not wishing to incur Eddie’s now legendary wrath I gladly obliged. What followed was a conversation in the purest academic sense of the word.

You do not argue with the Plato of Greenpoint. You sit down, shut the fuck up and listen. And today at 6:00 p.m. I was his eager pupil— or captive— take your pick. I was his Aristotle albeit without a bottle. Not that I needed one: Eddie had a 24 ounce can of Budweiser which he had been clearly nursing for some time.

Jesus, the King of Kings, can shill wine as much as he wants. This is Greenpoint and the King of Beers is the power behind many a discourse here. My tutorial with Eddie was no exception. He said (while pointing at his chest):

I like the New York Rangers. They suck.

Who can argue with that?

Miss Heather

Post Script: Lest any of you are wondering about the photograph gracing the beginning of this post it hails from the comatose Pencil Factory Condos. The chap in said photograph, a teacher, decided to start getting in shape for the summer by doing a few chin-ups on their sidewalk shed. He opined:

People pay $70.00 month for a gym and never go.

I replied:

The world is your gym. Be it spelled G-Y-M or G-E-M. It’s yours. I like that. What’s more, I for one am glad to see you’re putting this sidewalk shed to good use. It’s not like they’re using it or anything.

*The headquarters for Women For Yassky run by one Susan Anderson of Anderson Capital Management. If this name sounds familiar, fellow Greenpointers, it is because this woman heads the org “Town Square” and surreptitiously let Exxon Mobil participate in and fund Earth Day celebrations at McCarren Park in 2008. She really got her panties in a wad when the (inevitable) protests came to pass.

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