New York Shitty Day Starter: Magic’s Touch

March 1, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

When I found this book at the junk shop last weekend I could help but take it to Green Street. A place that was and continues to be “touched” by Magic’s touch. The Viridian (or as I prefer to call it: The Green Street Dorms) continues to amuse. The window treatments at this edifice are particularly provocative. There are not very and as a result I have some insight into the lifestyles of 110 Green Street. A bra-clad woman sitting in a director’s chair here, a bedroom with two sets of bunk beds there; every evening the windows glow with plasma television goodness. I do not want to see these things— but I do. Whatever happened to privacy?

Well, here’s one solution to the problem. But back to Magic and his touch.

Mr. Johnson and his funky bunch have touched Greenpoint…

and some intrepid Garden Spotter has seen fit to return the favor.

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Starter: I Want My Money

May 30, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Lest I have not made this clear I am rather fond of the proprietor of Brooklyn11211. He is a very intelligent person. He has an eye for architectural goodness and possesses a brand of acerbic wit I adore. But we occasionally disagree— make that more often than not nowadays— regarding the 2005 rezone. And rezone 2.0. The 2005 rezone in north Greenpoint is a total and utter failure. Derelict properties, vacant lots and “nondos” pepper my landscape.

Needless to say I found it interesting when my colleague, Brooklyn11211, recently conversed with Jake Mooney of the New York Times and relayed a far more optimistic view of Greenpoint than I possess. What would I know? I only live here and have the pleasure of living on the same block with one of gentrification’s most notorious failures: The Viridian. Sure, I was never fond of the bus depots running 24/7/365 which preceded this faux Modernist turd. But after that “public nuisance” was razed and Magic’s folly commenced Ms. Jacob’s eyes ceased to exist. And my block got seedy.

Now that Magic Johnson (and his funky bunch have declared bankruptcy) and his heap of shit (110 Green Street, AKA the Viridian) is derelict my block has become much more lively. CASE IN POINT:

This delightful footage I shot at 1:00 this morning.

My colleague in Williamsburg and Jake Mooney can talk up Greenpoint all they want. The previous is my reality. And I suspect over the summer it is only going to get worse.

Toodles!

Miss Heather

Happy Mother’s Day From The Viridian!

May 10, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

I do not qualify as a mother per se but as the keeper of five cats and husband I felt entitled to take the day easy. In fact, I did nothing whatsoever— and you know what? It felt good! My neighbors, conversely, were anything but layabouts. Wishing to make the most of today’s most opportune break from the recent onslaught of stormy weather they rolled out the barbecue grill, popped open a few brewskis and played a rousing round (or nine) of “toss the pylon”.

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Courtesy of Greenpoint’s good friend, Magic Johnson.

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The rules of the game seem simple enough: you toss pylons.

pylonsonthestreet

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In the street.

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On your neighbor’s sidewalk.

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And even at your neighbor’s window! Given Mr. Johnson’s interest in physical fitness I have little doubt he’ll be pleased as punch to know the neighborhood youths also joined in the fun.

youthswithpylon

What better gift could a child possibly give his mother on her special day than a memento of one of the most misguided developments in north Brooklyn? Arguably the only more fitting memorial I can think of would be a tee shirt:

Magic Johnson built a luxury condo and all I got was this lousy pylon.

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Ender: Sweet Victory

May 2, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

After I won the hat contest this evening (at tbd and gave props to Pa Heather— who was present— and to whom I dedicated the bottle of Maker’s Mark I won while wearing this) I encountered this select piece of street seating in front of the Viridian on the way home.

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This one’s for you, Bob.*

Miss Heather

*You are gone— but not forgotten.

GOOD MORNING GREENPOINT!

April 18, 2009 ·
Filed under: Abjectecture, Greenpoint Magic 

viridian

Thanks to our local community board the salad days of finger buildings in Greenpoint are over. Or are they?

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As I was walking by 110 Green Street (AKA: The Viridian) something caught my eye.

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Hey, that’s not very nice! I wonder if the salespeople for this dump are aware of this?

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Hmm… looks like they’re out to lunch.

Miss Heather

More Fun At The Viridian

March 15, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

viridian31309

On February 19, 2009 K wrote:

…I figure you know about this due to linking alerts for your blog but here we go… or there He went.

Magic’s magic is ummmm… bankrupt!?

Not to wish ill, but let us be reasonable about the reality of where we live and what it can (should?) house.

Maybe they’ll make a skate park for the youth in the drained pool… and turn the sauna into a Public Russian (Polish) Bath House?

Among the numerous ideas my Greenpoint think tank came up with as to what to do with this Modernist monolith (including a scenario which can only be described as post-Apocalyptic class warfare) I really liked the idea of having the pool utilized as a public skateboarding park. The sad fact is the parks in my fair burgh are abysmal. The only thing worse in Greenpoint are arguably the drivers. When I see a child skateboarding on the street I get worried.

viridian-entrance

Children* should be able to have safe facilities where they can get a little exercise. It is my belief that being physically active allows kids (of all ages) to blow off steam and consequently keeps them out of trouble (and Miss Heather’s hair). Needless to say when I noticed two teenagers opening the front door of the Viridian (as seen above) shoving a prepubescent boy inside and then holding it shut (thus encasing a Greenpoint young ‘un in luxurious captivity) I found it most interesting. In fact, I immediately pulled out my camera to document the most unorthodox use of a former condominium building I have seen to date.

I know Magic Johnson (a dedicated advocate of physical fitness/paid spokesman for Aetna) would be most pleased to know his monument to progress on Green Street is helping our children stay physically active and have a little fun to boot. Perhaps the new sales strategy for 110 Green Street should be…

The Viridian: The Affordable Choice for Luxurious Male Bonding/Hazing Since 2009.

Miss Heather

*Who, by the way, my dislike of is grossly exaggerated. It may take a village to raise a child but it takes only one self-important, pedantic and narcissitic parent to create an asshole.

Reader Email of The Day: The Magic Is Dead…

February 19, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

…long live the magic!

viridiankitprof

As many of you by now are well aware, the above masterpiece of Darthchitecture, Greenpoint’s very own Versailles, has declared bankruptcy. I could (re)hash the manifold ways this turd was a very, VERY bad idea from the start, talk about the many times I and a number of fellow citizens have called 311 on these fine people, point out the shoddiness of its construction or recall for you the many pleasant greetings (READ: catcalls) I have received from the fine men who built this testament to progress. But I have done all these things already— and more. Instead let us, fellow Greenpointers, look to the future! K writes:

…I figure you know about this due to linking alerts for your blog but here we go… or there He went.

Magic’s magic is ummmm… bankrupt!?

Not to wish ill, but let us be reasonable about the reality of where we live and what it can (should?) house.

Maybe they’ll make a skate park for the youth in the drained pool… and turn the sauna into a Public Russian (Polish) Bath House?

I for one think the Polish bathhouse idea has legs. For starters it’ll give the chaps who shave their backs on the steps of St. Anthony’s a place where they can get a little privacy while exercising some much-needed personal hygiene. What do you think should be done with the Viridian? Convert it into a casino? High-end brothel? A Walmart, perhaps? Leave your suggestions in the comments!

Miss Heather

Photo Credit: Kitchen Prof

The Viridian Blooms!

January 4, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Those of you who have read this blog know I have no affection for this development. For reasons only known to him Magic Johnson decided to fund/put his face on this, The Viridian (a fancy word for green, as in Green Street, in Greenpoint and how much “green” are you willing to outlay? $400,000 for starters.), in the name of urban renewal.

Urban renewal suggests blight. When I first moved to this block 110-130 Green Street housed businesses: a bus depot and stone worker’s shop. I can’t honestly say I liked having buses coming and going all hours of the night past my apartment. I didn’t. On the other hand I knew this came with living in an “industrial” neighborhood and with such businesses come jobs and tax revenue. Then came the rezone and shortly thereafter the Viridian.

I never experienced blight until Magic and his funky bunch moved in. Green Street has never been pretty— but it got a helluva lot uglier after Magic razed one third of it. Graffiti, garbage— LOTS OF GARBAGE, junkies shooting up and nodding off (on his illegally parked construction equipment) is what I will always remember the Viridian for. A condominium complex purported to sport such luxe accommodations as a concierge, rooftop cabanas, virtual golf, etc. A testament to progress and and urban renewal.

As of January 3, 2009 here’s what I saw:

A contextually inappropriate, shoddily built and VERY UGLY pile of crap. Let’s have a virtual auction my fellow Greenpointers. How much would you pay to rent a 500 square foot apartment in this dump? I’ll start the bidding at $500. One dollar per square foot.

Miss Heather

Word Of The Day: Nondo

December 18, 2008 ·
Filed under: Asshole, Greenpoint Magic 

(Or Ray Of Blight: A Dear John Letter to Magic Johnson)

Curbed wrote:

…You know the Viridian? (the ugly Modernist monolith depicted above— Ed. Note.) The high profile luxe condo at 110 Green Street in Greenpoint? We got a tip that it was going rental. We resisted running it as a rumor, even though we fully suspected it was true. An immediate denial was not forthcoming. The Viridian is still on the Developers Group website, although it is at the very end, behind two other buildings that recently went rental. Today comes word from a spokesperson: “According to The Developers Group, it’s being considering to convert the building to rental, but it has not been confirmed.” That, friends, is a polite way of saying “nondo in the works,” but we have to work out the legalities and paperwork. The building will be 130 units. The first segment of the building is slated to open by the end of the year or early 2009. Phase II is slated for late spring and Phase III is due in Q3 2009. Listings had shown asking prices for 1BRs starting at $458,000, 2BRs at $639,000 and 3BRs at $825,000. A little more than a dozen units had sold.

Non-do, n. pl. nondominiums: a substandard housing complex of dwelling units erected with a heavy measure of speculative greed, a promise of urban renewal (and a celebrity’s smile) with the cheapest labor and materials available in the hopes that each unit will be purchased at above market value. When the economy (and abject stupidity with a down payment) fails they dump their cheap crap into the rental market. See: Greenpoint, Suckers; Dewey, Cheatem and Howe or The Cocoanuts.

Um, this doesn’t look like a standard brick and mortar job to me, Magic.

Perhaps it’s because it is transparent (as opposed to opaque). I suppose that’s what renters and your 13 suckers buyers (or to see the glass half full: %10 OCCUPANCY) should expect for their money. For what’s it worth, your lackeys removed the siding peeling off the first floor of your dump testament to progress. I for one am grateful for this, as a humble peon who has the pleasure of living on the block where your testament to progress DUMP is being erected; it made walking down the sidewalk challenging.

Your eager beavers are working day and night now (without impediment from the Department of Buildings who I am certain someone in your chain of command paid off nicely) but none have seen fit to get rid of the vandalism. Including the bit of graffiti on the pillar next your building’s front door. You might want to look into that; it’s a turn-off to virtual golf-goers and roof-top cabana enthusiasts. And for the record I can state unequivocally that there has never been as much graffiti (or GARBAGE) on this block since you and yours saw fit to raze a fair chunk of it. Thank you for making Green Street less beautiful (or more ugly) place, Magic.

That’s not to suggest we didn’t have our good times: I got many a chuckle when workers from your site patronized my place of employment. A junk shop. Who doesn’t want to buy some porn (DVD only— urination, scat vids, much less Blackeyed Pees were unacceptable– only “fucky fucky”), stereo equipment or the odd saw (power strip, ruler, etc.) on his lunch hour? Especially when the scabs free market capitalists you hired are expected to provide their own tools? I was more than happy to assist them.

In my free time I have been verbally abused by your workers. Hissing and kissing noises mostly. Occasionally a chap would grab his nuts (to remind me I have none): a thankful reminder that I have no little head to overrule my “big head”. You’re a class operation, Viridian. I can hardly wait for phase 3, Magic.

Just like syphilis, your project is the gift that keeps on giving!

Miss Heather

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