Spotted On North Henry Street: The Anti Embedded Mossad Partymobile

July 12, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

If my inbox and comments are any indication I’d say it is proving to be one crazy July. In observance of this I bring to you (once again) a Garden Spot favorite: the Anti Ebedded Mossad Partymobile! The missives to be found on this vehicle include (but are not limited to):

Because God Is A mitochondrial DNA Racist- Retardo.

Anyone care to hazard a guess as to what this means?

Miss Heather

From The New York Shitty Photo Pool: Bloomblight With Benefits

When I saw this nondo in my photo pool I recognized it immediately: it graces (?) the corner of Herbert and North Henry Street. What I didn’t know is this hulking eyesore— despite its decrepit condition— has a resident. So it goes in the smash-jaw world of north Brooklyn real estate.

His name is Monkey and he wants it to be known he is not a stray. Special thanks goes out to Lisacat for sharing this important news with us.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Represents!

June 26, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11215, 11222, BAD ASS, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

As you are reading this post the Second Annual Jello-O Mold Competition is coming to pass— where a very special entry, I understand, will be unveiled! Something so sublime its creator, Victoria, swore me to secrecy until the date and time of this competition. She writes:
Hi Heather,

The photos are attached. The competition is not till Saturday evening so please don’t post these until then. You can’t see them in these photos, but the model includes little LED lights that light up the jello eggs from behind. Its meant to look like the digester eggs lit blue at night.

I have done my best to “keep calm and wobble on” with the secret I have been entrusted to keep. But I have to be honest: it’s been damned hard. I have not even allowed the Mister to see what I am about to show you, dear readers. Here it is: a gelatinous tribute to Greenpoint’s most interesting— and curiously beloved— landmark. Yes, I am talking about none other than “The Shit Tits”.

Once I recovered from my initial fit of ecstasy at this, part of our poop plant rendered in foodstuffs, I voiced concerns that the people attending and judging this competition would not understand what has been placed in front of them. No worries, Victoria has that covered! She writes:

I did write my own little essay on why the Shit Tits are so awesome and printed out a little montage of photos of the real deal so people can see for themselves and fully appreciate my jello genius.

I will openly admit that I am more than a little biased here. But— and this is a big but— if the judges of this competition cannot appreciate the sheer genius of this (and give it the award it so richly deserves) then I don’t need them. As far as I (and I suspect a great many other Greenpointers) am concerned these bad boys are a winner. Tits down.

Miss Heather

UPDATE, June 28, 2010: I have been advised that this masterpiece did not get the grand prize. That went to some concoction involving the virgin Mary. Clearly these people have no taste.

Greenpoint Photo Du Jour: North Henry Street

June 22, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

Taken June 21, 2010.

Miss Heather

From The New York Shitty Inbox: Holy Shit

June 19, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

(TITS, that is)

The above screencaps were provided by a woman who knows quality television when she sees it. Lindsay writes:

Our glorious shit tits had a cameo on the show ‘Royal Pains’ recently. It served as a setting for the fourth installment of the movie series “The Trash Collector”. How perfect!

You can see Greenpoint’s most notable assets (and Eighth Wonder of The World) immortalized for all posterity on the small screen by clicking here. Skip forward to  ~39 -40 minute mark because, as Lindsay opines:

The show is awful.

Nonetheless it is a red brown letter day in Greenpoint!

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Ender: Angst

February 25, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

From North Henry Street.

Miss Heather

From The New York Shitty Inbox: Rainy Day Cafe?

November 23, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

rainy day cafe outside

rainy day cafe inside

nestor & avocado shake

Tony (who took the above photographs) writes:

We stumbled upon this new place on N. Henry between Meeker (BQE) & Engert. It’s called Rainy Day Cafe and what brought me inside was a sign for Avocado Shakes. Inside, we met the owner & chef, kinda of a camera-shy dude named Nestor whose creations come from Bali cuisine, but also felt a lot like a cafe you might find in California. The smoothie was made with fresh ginger, organic rice milk, avocado, honey & ice and was pretty tasty. He also makes dinner and it seats probably about 10 people total.  It’s definitely a completely random little place and not sure that many people have noticed it yet.

I certainly haven’t! Thanks for giving us the head’s up. I know where I’ll be going tomorrow— rain or shine!

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: Big Brother (In More Ways Than One)

November 20, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

nhenry

nhenry2

nhenry3

To bastardize Mae West (who— it is reputed— hailed from the Garden Spot of the Universe):

Is that a closed circuit television camera in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Miss Heather

Something Neat: A Garden Grows In Greenpoint

October 27, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

When the sun makes a much-needed appearance some people go to the beach or for a walk in the park. Not yours truly. Since the weather was lovely— if a little brisk— yesterday I took a little time to step out, stop and smell the roses— in the shadow of the Shit Tits. You see, on North Henry Street between Greenpoint and Meserole Avenue I stumbled upon (the remains of) something remarkable: a guerrilla garden.

garden1

Granted, this looks like a Wuthering Heights/Grey Gardensesque mass of overgrowth now but at one time it must have been quite beautiful.

garden2

Sunflowers abound.

rose

But there are also for your delectation roses…

garden3

morning glories…

garden4

and tomatoes?!?

Speaking for myself I would NOT put anything in my body that was grown in the soil here— much less within eye (and nose) shot of the Eastern seaboard’s largest waste treatment plant. But to each their own. If you happen to find yourself in this area, dear readers, swing by and give this garden a look-see. It’s really neat!

Miss Heather

P.S.: Be sure to see the remains of an ingenious ad hoc hydroponic set-up down the block while you’re there.

hydro

Greenpoint Slide Show du Jour: Creepy Cavalcade!

October 18, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

devilgoose

As All Hallow’s Eve draws closer Greenpoint keeps getting more and more ghoulish (like this goose I found on Noble Street). Follows are some highlights from my sojourn around the neighborhood today. Enjoy!

648 Humboldt Street didn’t disappoint. However, I am concerned about the absence of the demonic clowns. They’re my favorite (after the Humboldt Hurler). But we have thirteen days to go…

Miss Heather

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