New York Shitty Day Starter: To Whom It May Concern

Why is this gate open? Why hasn’t anyone seemed to notice this gate is open? I am hardly a criminally inclined person but when I see something like this I cannot help but think of bad things. Anyone seeking access to the Long Island Railroad need only simply waltz through this gate and lo, he (or she) can play Thomas The Tank Engine. Perhaps I am overreacting here— but I find this rather disturbing. It is a matter of no one noticing— or simply not caring?

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Videos Du Jour: Open House

Yesterday afternoon my buddy from the Newtown Pentacle and I sojourned to St. Cecilia’s Auditorium for the Kosciuszko Bridge Project Open House. While hardly standing room only, the peeps behind the presentation were pleasantly surprised by the turn-out. I suspect word about the blue chip refreshments (which included coffee, tea, cream, milk, zero fat milk, water and soda; cookies and crackers with an assortment of cheese) might have had something to do with this. But who’s to say for certain?

In any case, I filmed the proceedings for your entertainment and edification. Mostly the latter. This material might strike many of you as being boring (for the most part, it is) but if you reside in this southern Greenpoint or western Queens you should view this footage. How this projects proceeds (or not) will effect our community for a long time to come.

INTRO: (self-explanatory)

PART I: The process/research leading up to this project & how the bridge will be constructed

PART II: Property acquisition & park space (including a kayak launch on Newtown Creek!)

PART III: A run-down of the four bridge types under consideration

PART IV: End of Presentation, the Q & A session begins

PART V: A Lombardy Street resident asks some very compelling questions

PART VI: An Apollo Street resident speaks and the meeting concludes


I suppose some of you are probably wondering which design I voted for. Here you go.

The rationale for my decision was (more or less) as follows:

1. I found it visually compelling and felt it juxtapose nicely with the Manhattan skyline.
2. This design leaves more open space under the bridge. Given how oppressive this area is currently I believe this to be a big plus.

3. It embraces/showcases the Shit Tits rather nicely!

Priorities, people!

Miss Heather

Long Island City Photo Du Jour: Pulaski Bridge

January 14, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11101, Long Island City, Queens 

I have always believed successful public art should engage the public. Taking the previous into account— albeit in the most broadest sense— I’d say the mural on the Pulaski Bridge is a smashing success!*

Miss Heather

*In all seriousness: how could the peeps at the DOT and the artist responsible for this opus not know this would invariably invite a priapism? Placing a man behind a woman is second only in my unwritten “Do not do leave to the caprice/rancor of the public” rulebook to why subway posters should never, EVER, feature anything— human, humanoid, mammalian, reptilian or otherwise with his/her/its mouth open.

From The New York Shitty Inbox: More Ado About Tree Poop

bitchcakesnyMESS

My buddy Bitchcakes (who took the above photograph) writes in an email entitled “UGH”:

Have you seen this craptacular mess on the Pulaski Bridge? I don’t know when it went up, but I saw it today and I HATE IT!!!!!

To answer your question, yes I have seen this “craptacular mess”. It would appear a number of people have. Many have questions about it, but few seem to like it. Blair comments (in this post I published November 19):

Well, I got an answer sooner than anticipated. After repeated calls to 311 and cruising the DOT website, I was lucky enough to look out my window and see the grafitti artist/stencil man at work on the south end of the Pulaski Bridge. I asked him if he and his gang of artists were also responsible for the wood bench tabletop gymnasium. He said yes. I asked how long it will remain up. He said 11 months. He asked if i liked it. I said I did not because it is cumbersome looking and looks as if only a person two feet tall could sit on it comfortably. But, I noted, others did like it. His response, “Well, that’s the point. You either like it or you don’t.”

So, there you go, the mystery of tree poop solved.

Thanks,

Blair

So there have you. For more reading about this piece of public art (and the testament to ineptitude that is the Pulaski bike lane “plan”) I heartily encourage you to read Restless’s post on the subject. You can do so by clicking here.

Miss Heather

From The New York Shitty Inbox: More About The Pulaski Bridge

treepoopBLAIR

Blair (who took the above photograph) writes:

Hi, I love your photos of the Pulaski you took yesterday.  I am not sure if this is a permanent installation or “street art” or what.. but my friend described it as looking like  tree poop.  The photo was taken at 10:30am Tuesday morning.. and that wood was bolted into the ground.

I noticed this piece of public seating (or “tree poop”— take your pick) last night. I even took several photographs of it, but none of them came out. I for one like it— but have no idea who (or what) is behind it. Anyone out there have the 411? If so, please share via comments.

Thanks!

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Ender: Pulaski Bridge

welcome

cans

feet

backpack

cart

bike

blownover

inprogress

LIC

Taken November 17, 2009.

Miss Heather

GREAT MOMENTS IN MUNICIPAL IDIOCY: Southside Style

clusterfuckTHUMBYesterday morning I was alerted by a neighbor of mine that, in their infinite wisdom, the Department of Transportation has removed the “dismount” signs from the Pulaski Bridge. I have yet to verify this in person (I will) but this struck me as being yet another indicator of our fair city’s cow-towing to a bicyclist agenda at the expense of pedestrians. What’s more, it is just plain stupid to have bicyclists (who are apparently now legally sanctioned to go full speed ahead) and people on foot sharing a “pathway” which is eight to (at best) ten feet in width. This is a nasty accident waiting to happen— white lines or not.

I spent a fair amount of my morning fuming over this. In fact, I racked my brain to think of anything our city has perpetrated/inflicted on its citizens (traffic-wise) that could begin to compare to what they have done to the Pulaski Bridge. I came up empty.

Then I took a walk on the Southside. Methinks I may very well have found something worse.

Many of you, dear readers, are aware that I spend a significant amount of time looking down. This may seem to some to be an odd practice but I assure you it has a purpose: to avoid stepping in dog shit. As time has gone on I have found a number of other interesting things on our city’s sidewalks. I have documented them on this web site often.

sidewalk

In the case of Marcy Avenue I present to you this.

sidewalk2

These.

sidewalk3

And these.

Why does this irritate me so, you ask? Well, for starters:

  1. This “bicycle lane” is on a public sidewalk. Bikes do not belong on sidewalks, people do.
  2. If my memory serves me correctly one can get ticketed for riding a bicycle on a sidewalk.
  3. As you can see above the city has sanctioned the use of a public sidewalk for use by bicyclists. Somewhere I hear Franz Kafka and George Orwell cackling their respective asses off.

Follows is a map of the intersection in question to further elucidate my point.

map

I have highlighted the bike lane in question (which is located on South 3rd Street) in yellow. The sidewalk cum bike lane (on Marcy Avenue) is highlighted in green. The more eagle-eyed among you might have noticed that someone walking towards South 3rd Street on Marcy Avenue would have a limited/obstructed view of oncoming traffic (be it petroleum-fueled or man-powered) from South 3rd Street. Here’s a street level view to drive the point home.

south3street

I am not a Southside resident, but I do walk around there pretty frequently. Who do I see walking along this stretch of Marcy Avenue most frequently, you ask? I’ll tell you:

  1. A large number of elderly people. Many of whom are pushing carts laden groceries, some of whom have limited mobility.
  2. Young women pushing strollers or accompanying small children.
  3. Hipsters who have turned on and tuned into their i-Pods.

In a nutshell, people whose ability to dodge an oncoming bicycle— for reasons of their own choosing or otherwise— is compromised. I do not know who thought up this “solution” to the bicycling problem but it is one of the WORST examples of municipal “planning” I have ever seen.

yieldtopeds

In fact, if this didn’t pose a serious public safety issue I’d find the above image downright hilarious. But it is a safety issue. And it is no laughing matter.

I have often been accused of being “anti-bicycle”. I am not. What I am becoming increasingly fed up with is this “have your cake and eat it too” mode of operation our city is espousing. Bikes neither belong on sidewalks nor any other pedestrian walkway. They belong on the streets. Safely. To make this happen entails making tough choices. Choices clearly the leaders of this city are unwilling to make (presumably because they will piss off motorists).

This is a farce.

Miss Heather

UPDATE, 10/30/09 2:00 p.m.: Sure enough, the dismount signs have been removed from the Pulaski Bridge.

nosigns

pulaski2

pulaski1

Borough Of Lost Pets

grattancat

Just as was the case yesterday I went out for another walk to enjoy the lovely fall weather. I followed my usual m.o., e.g.; taking subway somewhere (in today’s case the Jefferson Street stop of the L) and walking home. This may not be everyone’s idea of a good time but I enjoy it. Today was no exception save one disturbing trend: the numerous lost pet fliers I found along the way. Here they are— along with a few furkids who were lucky enough to be found by some very kind humans.

FLUSHING AVENUE

FOUNDKITTEN

Notes/observations: I found a number of these fliers around the Morgan Avenue stop of the L so it is safe to presume he was probably found in this area.

GRATTAN STREET

meatball

Notes/observations: Judging from the condition of the flier I’d say this one has been around for a while. I found it around the corner from where Meatball calls home: Roberta’s Pizzeria. If you have seen Meatball— the coolest named dog EVER— please call his people at the above telephone number.

BOGART STREET

founddog

Notes/observations: This is disturbing as hell.

HERBERT STREET

littleman

Notes/observations: This one hails from a little closer to home: Herbert at Monitor Street. If you have seen Little Man (which happens to a nickname for one of yours truly’s felines) you know what to do.

CALYER STREET

bella

Notes/observations: Although the flier was found at Calyer and Eckford Street, Bella was last seen at Manhattan Avenue and India Street. Judging the wording of this flier I have to wonder if Bella was lost or stolen. Stealing pets for resale (or reward money) is a cottage industry in Brooklyn. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: KEEP AN EYE ONE YOUR PETS. DO NOT LEAVE THEM UNATTENDED. PEOPLE CAN AND WILL TAKE THEM!!!

In closing I will leave you with this lost dog alert from my friends at District Dog.

MISSING DOG: GREENPOINT/LIC
RED WENT MISSING ON FRIDAY NIGHT. HE IS A 1 YR OLD RED LABRADOR, HE IS NEUTERED AND HAS A BLACK SPOT ON HIS TONGUE.

HE WAS LAST SEEN HEADED OVER THE PULASKI BRDGE TOWARDS L.I.C.

INFO: NAME: RED
BREED: RED LAB

PLEASE PASS THIS TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW IN THE AREA.
WE CAN BE REACHED 24/7 AT 718.290.7434
OR
BY EMAIL rob (at) districtdog (dot) com

PLEASE HELP US!

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Starter: Of Love & Loss On Newtown Creek

October 3, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

pulaski

XXXChelsea

My Josh/J/Jawsh/O dog,

Good luck in Cincinnati

You’re fucking awesome

I’m glad I met you!

<3 Chelsea XXX

KILLA

Dude, you fucking rocked my world.

Good luck in the future,

<3 Chelsea

DUDE

Dude, you fucking rolled my world.

Good luck in the future,

<3 Chelsea

From the scenic overlook of the Pulaski Bridge.*

Miss Heather

*Where you can find these handy new signs for your walking and bicycling pleasure!

GAPAHEAD

GAP AHEAD

GAP

GAP

I apologize for the poor quality of the previous two images. It is difficult to take photographs at night (or any other time, for that matter) on the Pulaski when bicyclists are coming at you— at high speed— from both directions. One safety-helmeted lass (riding like a bat out of hell— clearly her own safety and getting to Brooklyn was all she cared about) was kind enough to shout at my mother-in-law (who is visiting our fair city) to get out of her way.

On a lighter note we were provided live entertainment in the way of a NYPD speedtrap cunningly laid in place on the Brooklyn side of the Pulaski. From our eagle-eye view we watched New York’s Finest ticket two people in the course of (maybe) three minutes.

New York Shitty Day Ender: Welcome To Queens

BED BUGS

From the Pulaski Bridge.

Miss Heather

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