New York Shitty Day Ender: DEP Nature Walk

September 22, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Newtown Creek 

Here’s looking at you, kid!

Miss Heather

Quicklink: Greenpoint Gets Some Love

September 22, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

A couple of weeks ago I spoke to a reporter, one Billie Cohen, regarding Time Out New York’s upcoming “Why I (Heart) NYC” issue. When she asked me what makes Greenpoint unique, well, the answer was obvious. My favorite quote is as follows:

Where else, not just in the city but in the world, are you going to have a waste-treatment plant that not only has a visitor’s center, but has a nature walk? If you have to pin me down as to park spaces I like to go—that’s it. Why do I like the wastewater-treatment plant? Why do I like the Shit Tits? Why do I like the visitor’s center? On the one hand, it is so absurd, but on the other hand it’s actually really neat. All these new condos that are being built here—why is it that we have more thought put into the aesthetics of [New York’s largest] waste-treatment plant—that, as I understand it, handles the most poop in the entire city—than the buildings that we live in?

Yup, yours truly was in particularly good form that day. Check it out!

Miss Heather

A New York Shitty Shout Out: Happy Birthday Smitty!

September 14, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

AKA: Chris Smith, AKA the creator of the above masterpiece which (sans customizations made by yours truly) is (still) available for purchase at the Mark Bar or online by clicking here). You have my eternal gratitude for combining two things of which I am quite fond: the Shit Tits and Bad Brains. This one’s for you, Smitty!

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photo Du Jour: SOLD!

September 12, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

I like you, but you stink.

As purchased by one very cool (and non-stinky) Greenpointer on September 11, 2010.

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Ender: Closure?

June 29, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

I am not going to lie to you: when I learned via Gothamist that Greenpoint’s (and Brooklyn’s) Jell-O Mistress, Victoria Belanger, did not win the grand prize at Gowanus Studio’s Space’s second annual Jell-O competition I got pissed. Big time. Instead of a blue ribbon I’ve been seeing red. Big time. I’m not alone either.

Tony opines:

What a sham! I don’t know what’s worse, not giving the ‘tits’ first prize or having a jello mold contest in a non-climate controlled room during a NYC summer.

Ma Heather states:

I am crushed!

You can fuck around with my emotions six ways to Sunday— I’m used to it— but when you upset my mother I take it personally. The good news is redress/proper recognition may very well be around the corner. Greenpoint takes care of their own. My Newtown Creek Monitoring Committee mole writes:

The committee and consultants LOOOOVEE the jello shit tits. We are talking very seriously about displaying such community responses at the DEP Visitors Center.
Talk is just that: talk. I want to see Ms. Belanger’s loving tribute to our beloved Shit Tits immortalized— photographically— for everyone’s edification at our new Visitor’s Center. It deserves to stand proudly aside Vito Acconci’s fancy fountain. If you agree, please leave your sentiments via comments or send ’em via email at: missheather (at) thatgreenpointblog (dot) com. I’ll make sure they brought to the attention of the appropriate parties.

Thanks!

Miss Heather

Photo Credits: Carnade and Victoria Belanger

From The New York Shitty Photo Pool: Shit Tit

June 29, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

This delightfully abstracted image of our very own waste treatment plant comes courtesy of entropymedia and is dedicated to Victoria Belanger: the woman who should have been the grand prize winner of this year’s Jell-O Springs Eternal Competition. For what it is worth a member of the Newtown Creek Monitoring Committee, the community group which oversees the  Shit Tits, was very impressed by Victoria’s creation. She writes:

I saw the shit tit jello entry. Awesome!!!!!! That mold should be memorialized in the DEP Visitors Center. Don’t think I won’t ask at the next meeting!

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Represents!

June 26, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11215, 11222, BAD ASS, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

As you are reading this post the Second Annual Jello-O Mold Competition is coming to pass— where a very special entry, I understand, will be unveiled! Something so sublime its creator, Victoria, swore me to secrecy until the date and time of this competition. She writes:
Hi Heather,

The photos are attached. The competition is not till Saturday evening so please don’t post these until then. You can’t see them in these photos, but the model includes little LED lights that light up the jello eggs from behind. Its meant to look like the digester eggs lit blue at night.

I have done my best to “keep calm and wobble on” with the secret I have been entrusted to keep. But I have to be honest: it’s been damned hard. I have not even allowed the Mister to see what I am about to show you, dear readers. Here it is: a gelatinous tribute to Greenpoint’s most interesting— and curiously beloved— landmark. Yes, I am talking about none other than “The Shit Tits”.

Once I recovered from my initial fit of ecstasy at this, part of our poop plant rendered in foodstuffs, I voiced concerns that the people attending and judging this competition would not understand what has been placed in front of them. No worries, Victoria has that covered! She writes:

I did write my own little essay on why the Shit Tits are so awesome and printed out a little montage of photos of the real deal so people can see for themselves and fully appreciate my jello genius.

I will openly admit that I am more than a little biased here. But— and this is a big but— if the judges of this competition cannot appreciate the sheer genius of this (and give it the award it so richly deserves) then I don’t need them. As far as I (and I suspect a great many other Greenpointers) am concerned these bad boys are a winner. Tits down.

Miss Heather

UPDATE, June 28, 2010: I have been advised that this masterpiece did not get the grand prize. That went to some concoction involving the virgin Mary. Clearly these people have no taste.

From The New York Shitty Inbox: Holy Shit

June 19, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

(TITS, that is)

The above screencaps were provided by a woman who knows quality television when she sees it. Lindsay writes:

Our glorious shit tits had a cameo on the show ‘Royal Pains’ recently. It served as a setting for the fourth installment of the movie series “The Trash Collector”. How perfect!

You can see Greenpoint’s most notable assets (and Eighth Wonder of The World) immortalized for all posterity on the small screen by clicking here. Skip forward to  ~39 -40 minute mark because, as Lindsay opines:

The show is awful.

Nonetheless it is a red brown letter day in Greenpoint!

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Starter: XABU

May 4, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Street Art 

Taken May 2, 2010.

Miss Heather

Reader Contribution Du Jour: Altitude

Before I proceed with this post I would like make it known that today’s postage will be decidedly lite. There are two reasons for this:

  1. For those of you who are not in the know, my mother has paid our fair city a visit. She left yesterday. I have been running around a lot the last week.
  2. In the process of said “running around” I managed to pick up head cold. Lucky me.

I am tired. But not too tired to share this shot taken by fellow Shit Tit enthusiast, my very own mother, as her plane approached La Guardia Airport.

What first caught her eye was how the sun seemed to be shining right on them as if to say:

Welcome to Greenpoint!

Potential tourist attraction or not, they certainly make for a striking view for would-be visitors and this photograph lends a note of veracity to Emily Lloyd’s assertion that these bad boys (girls?) can be seen from the Empire State Building!

In closing (and for those of you who care to know) my mother had a grand time. She was unable to attend the visitor’s center grand opening due to a scheduling conflict but did pay Mr. Acconci’s fountain its respects. She was impressed. But arguably the most interesting part of her visit to New York was not to be had by her at all. It was by a friend of hers —we’ll call “S”— and it came to pass in Queens.

Long story made very short, “S” had to change hotels. So my mother, being helpful, recommended the Best Western City View in Sunnyside. She spent the night there and got up bright and early to catch her 5:30 a.m. flight. When she ducked into the lobby at 3:30 a.m. the desk clerk appeared to be nervous. He suggested— repeatedly— that she wait for her car in the lounge and added that he had just made a fresh pot of coffee. She refused— repeatedly— and as a result became privy to a hushed conversation between said desk clerk and a potential “client”. She only caught a snippet, but that snippet pretty much says it all:

It will be $60 in cash and you have to leave by 7:00 a.m.

“S” did not see this chap’s “companion” or ascertain how much she (he?) cost, but given she had not set foot in our fair city in 25 years suffice it to say it made for quite a memorable conclusion to her visit.

Miss Heather

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