From The New York Shitty Inbox: In A Different Light

April 19, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

One of the joys of the junk shop (and there are many) is it has enabled me to meet lots of people. One such individual is a chap named Joe. A few weeks ago struck up a conversation with my boss (and buddy) Larry about monster movie hosts. As the conversation progressed he made it known that he was in the neighborhood taking photographs and wanted advice as to what to shoot. Without hesitation Larry and I said:

The Shit Tits.

We are of the belief that no visit to Greenpoint is complete without viewing this landmark in its resplendent bullet bra glory. Like it or hate it one had to admit it is one of the defining characteristics of our fair burgh. What’s more, I think it is pretty neat! Anyhoo, Joe and I exchanged information, I got busy and forgot about it. Until yesterday when Joe dropped me a line. He writes:

I was talking to Larry and you about Monster Movie hosts. After I wandered through Greenpoint and across to Queens, taking pictures all the way. Here’s the link.

Click the link I did. What I found was pretty darned cool!

A pair of Garden Spot sneaks.

Children at play.

And of course, our beloved Shit Tits.

All in all I found it refreshing to see our neighborhood from another person’s eyes. Those of you who have a moment should click here and peruse Joe’s photo set from his sojourn in the Garden Spot. It’s really neat!

Miss Heather

A Self-Congratulatory Post

March 22, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

Before I proceed I want to make it known that I am not terribly keen on blogging my achievements. It may sound strange to some of you but I’m a pretty private person. What’s more, I am the classic example of an underachiever, ergo; I do not have much to crow about in the first place. However, in this case I am going to make an exception. If for no other reason because it will serve as a pretext for me to share with you, dear readers, some very exciting news I learned today.

When I received my Greenpoint shirt from Subtexture I was pretty damned excited. So much so I threw it on top of the shirt I was wearing at the time. I wanted to give it a “field test”. As I had suspected a few problems arose:

1. The shirt was too long.

2. I hated the sleeves.
3. While pretty nifty in its own right, this piece of apparel needed some additional fabulousness befitting a real housewife of King’s County.

As I was working at the junk shop I pondered ways to address the aforementioned issues. The sleeves would have to go, I decided. That is easy enough to remedy. I have been altering my clothing for a long time. But what about points #2 and #3? Simply hemming it would not look right. Then inspiration struck. I confided my plan to my co-worker, Laura. She replied:

You are not really going to do that, are you?

You bet your ass I am!

I replied. And this weekend I did.

I am not a patient person. Anyone who knows me well will tell you this. For this reason I want to congratulate myself on this (albeit meager) accomplishment. I would also be remiss if I didn’t mention that quaffing Patron Silver assisted me tremendously with this endeavor. It did. Especially in light of the “help” I received from a few of the Chez Shitty furkids.

See the beads? I’ll give you three guesses where they were when I came back from using the bathroom.

More “help”. Those of you who are not familiar with the manifold joys of pet ownership I am going to share a little known fact: if you have an article of black clothing it is a magnet for any NON-black cats in your household. I do not think I have to explain the reason for this. In closing (and getting back to the real purpose of this post) I would like to share the very special news I hinted at in the beginning of this post. I have been told by the creator of this shirt that they are proving to be big seller with the employees of our beloved Eighth Wonder of the World.

Shit Tit Pride: it’s contagious!

Miss Heather

UPDATE, 4:06 p.m.: I have brought my handiwork to the attention of this shirt’s designer. Here’s what he had to say:

holy shit tits!!! amazing! you’ll be getting orders to do custom work

From The New York Shitty Photo Pool: Live From The Mark Bar

March 14, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

This photo (which showcases a Bad Brains-inspired tee shirt featuring none other than our beloved Shit Tits!) was taken by autovac. Two words: love it! Lest you are wondering, this shirt is for sale! You can purchase ’em for the very reasonable price of $20.00 (plus $5.00 shipping) by pointing and clicking here.

Miss Heather

UPDATE, March 15, 2010; I have just been informed by my mother that I am to purchase one of these for Pa Heather. I am pleased to report this has come to pass!

Greenpoint Video Jour: Live From The Shit Tits

October 10, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

OHNY

Alas, today my buddy Larry and I didn’t make it on time to go on the “interactive tour” (I will make it a point of getting there bright and early tomorrow). Nonetheless I was pleased to see there were quite a few folks who wanted to tour the 9th Wonder of the World: Greenpoint’s very own Shit Tits!

tittourists

tittourists2

photog

I’m don’t know why this shutterbug found Larry, his partner in crime, Willie; Sadie and I so interesting as to merit being photographed. But if I had to hazard a guess I’d say the following might have had something to do with it.

I’m not too sure if this will find its way onto “Thinking Tanking”— but we can always hope!

Miss Heather

From The New York Shitty Inbox: Tit Tours?!?

October 2, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

shittitsthumbnailOpen House New York is a little ways off (October 10-11) but once my buddy over at The Newtown Pentacle brought the following to my attention I had to pass it along. STAT:

Newtown Creek Wastewater Treatment Plant
329 Greenpoint Ave/ Humboldt St, Brooklyn
neighborhood: Greenpoint
Sat: 10:30 am – 3 pm
Sun: 10:30 am – 3 pm

Continuous open access, first come basis, lining up if necessary

Regular open tours, first come, first serve basis – open dialogue tours of digester eggs, Sat & Sun 11 am – 1 pm, every half hour with Greg Clawson, project manager, Polshek Architects and Jim Pynn, DEP plant superintendent.

Maximum people: 20 per tour

Building date: 2009

Architect: Polshek Partnerships

Dominating the local skyline with its stainless steel digester “eggs,” this wastewater treatment plant is the largest of the 14 NYC Department of Environmental Protection plants. The new facility is also home to a Nature Walk andVisitors Center.

Yes kids, weekend after next the Garden Spot will represent at this year’s open house by letting the people access explore her, uh, more infamous assets. I can hardly wait!

Miss Heather

P.S.: VISITOR’S CENTER?!?

Greenpoint Photo Du Jour: The Garden Spot Alps

December 19, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Fuck Dr. Zhivago. Nothing says wintertime romance to yours truly like a set of snow-capped Shit Tits!

Miss Heather

Love Is In The Air!

December 17, 2007 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Newtown Creek 

Many who are reading this are probably aware of the Newtown Creek Monitoring Committee. They are a community group charged with overseeing the upgrade of Greenpoint’s favorite sewage treatment plant. Each month they meet with the Department of Environmental Protection and talk sewage shop. While this may sound like watching paint dry to some, it has come to my attention that a subject has arisen at the last two meetings which is anything but boring.

Nature Walk, facing north

Per Emily Lloyd, the Commissioner of the Department of Environmental Protection, “unsavory acts” are transpiring at the nature walk. Per my source (the ever-cool Matt Wolfe of The Greenpoint Courier) she did not give any details as to the nature of these acts, but I suspect they are of a carnal persuasion. I want you to think about this for a moment, dear readers: there are people who (purportedly) see fit to fornicate in the shadow of New York Shitty’s largest sewage treatment plant.

Sewage Treatment Plant

This is like something straight out of a John Waters movie— which of course bears testament to its probable verity: Greenpoint is a John Waters kind of place. I wonder if a shag rug and a bottle of cold duck were used as inducements for these “unsavory acts”? Both of the previous facilitated my entrance into this world. I know this because my mother has told me so.

On a number of occasions.

But I digress. I have created a very special Greenpoint postcard to commemorate the (un?)natural acts which have taken place at the Nature Walk of late. Here it is for your delectation.

Love is in the air!

These can be purchased via my online store at Cafepress. Why not reach out and touch that special someone with a gift only Greenpoint can give? The Shit Tits!

Miss Heather

P.S.: Those of you who are interested in learning more about the Newtown Creek Monitoring Committee can contact them at:

Newtown Creek Monitoring Committee
329 Greenpoint Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222

(718) 349-0150

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