New York Shitty Day Starter: Alas, Saint Nick…

November 19, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11211, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

I knew him well.

santa

When I encountered this, Santa Claus in a shopping cart, on Driggs Avenue I had to take a photograph of it. The porter of said building was as perplexed and amused as I was. He encouraged me to take St. Nick home. I told him taking Santa home in a shopping cart would be a schlep to Greenpoint.

Perhaps Santa’s new sleigh could be pulled by rats or stray cats?

I suggested. He laughed. And we both agreed the holidays suck.

Miss Heather

Southside Degentrification Watch: Street Furniture Selections

November 18, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11211, Street Furniture, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

Today I decided to take a walk to Grand Ferry Park. I do this when I need some peace and quiet (and believe you me, after all the Greenpoint Nazi/homophobia stuff I really needed it). In so doing I discovered some stellar pieces of street furniture. Here they are.

RIVER STREET RECLINERS

riverst

On a beatific day such as this, who wants to stay outdoors? Pop out those bucket seats and get some sun! Ingenious.

KENT AVENUE FUTON

kentave1

kentave2

I found this one to be absolutely breathtaking. This is because it smelled so fucking bad I was gasping for air! And now the piece de resistance

SOUTH 1 STREET: ANNOTATED

south1

If my memory serves me correctly this mattress has inhabited South 1st Street for about a month. Note the “No Dumping” sign in the background. So it goes. Anyhoo, in the elapsing time this item has been employed as an ad hoc public forum/chatroom.

south1a

Sleep’n on the street. Struglin.

buggin

Bedbuggin’ out!

Miss Heather

Southside Street Art du Jour: South 1st Street

November 10, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11211, Street Art, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

hearts

Taken November 8, 2009.

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Starter: Etiquette

November 10, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11211, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

nospitting

From the South 4th Bar & Cafe.

Miss Heather

Williamsburg Street Art du Jour: Bunny bin Laden

November 8, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11211, Street Art, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

Bunny bin Laden

Bunny bin Laden2

From Berry Street.

Miss Heather

Southside Halloween Watch: The Witching Hour

October 30, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11211, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

80

From South 3 Street.

Miss Heather

GREAT MOMENTS IN MUNICIPAL IDIOCY: Southside Style

clusterfuckTHUMBYesterday morning I was alerted by a neighbor of mine that, in their infinite wisdom, the Department of Transportation has removed the “dismount” signs from the Pulaski Bridge. I have yet to verify this in person (I will) but this struck me as being yet another indicator of our fair city’s cow-towing to a bicyclist agenda at the expense of pedestrians. What’s more, it is just plain stupid to have bicyclists (who are apparently now legally sanctioned to go full speed ahead) and people on foot sharing a “pathway” which is eight to (at best) ten feet in width. This is a nasty accident waiting to happen— white lines or not.

I spent a fair amount of my morning fuming over this. In fact, I racked my brain to think of anything our city has perpetrated/inflicted on its citizens (traffic-wise) that could begin to compare to what they have done to the Pulaski Bridge. I came up empty.

Then I took a walk on the Southside. Methinks I may very well have found something worse.

Many of you, dear readers, are aware that I spend a significant amount of time looking down. This may seem to some to be an odd practice but I assure you it has a purpose: to avoid stepping in dog shit. As time has gone on I have found a number of other interesting things on our city’s sidewalks. I have documented them on this web site often.

sidewalk

In the case of Marcy Avenue I present to you this.

sidewalk2

These.

sidewalk3

And these.

Why does this irritate me so, you ask? Well, for starters:

  1. This “bicycle lane” is on a public sidewalk. Bikes do not belong on sidewalks, people do.
  2. If my memory serves me correctly one can get ticketed for riding a bicycle on a sidewalk.
  3. As you can see above the city has sanctioned the use of a public sidewalk for use by bicyclists. Somewhere I hear Franz Kafka and George Orwell cackling their respective asses off.

Follows is a map of the intersection in question to further elucidate my point.

map

I have highlighted the bike lane in question (which is located on South 3rd Street) in yellow. The sidewalk cum bike lane (on Marcy Avenue) is highlighted in green. The more eagle-eyed among you might have noticed that someone walking towards South 3rd Street on Marcy Avenue would have a limited/obstructed view of oncoming traffic (be it petroleum-fueled or man-powered) from South 3rd Street. Here’s a street level view to drive the point home.

south3street

I am not a Southside resident, but I do walk around there pretty frequently. Who do I see walking along this stretch of Marcy Avenue most frequently, you ask? I’ll tell you:

  1. A large number of elderly people. Many of whom are pushing carts laden groceries, some of whom have limited mobility.
  2. Young women pushing strollers or accompanying small children.
  3. Hipsters who have turned on and tuned into their i-Pods.

In a nutshell, people whose ability to dodge an oncoming bicycle— for reasons of their own choosing or otherwise— is compromised. I do not know who thought up this “solution” to the bicycling problem but it is one of the WORST examples of municipal “planning” I have ever seen.

yieldtopeds

In fact, if this didn’t pose a serious public safety issue I’d find the above image downright hilarious. But it is a safety issue. And it is no laughing matter.

I have often been accused of being “anti-bicycle”. I am not. What I am becoming increasingly fed up with is this “have your cake and eat it too” mode of operation our city is espousing. Bikes neither belong on sidewalks nor any other pedestrian walkway. They belong on the streets. Safely. To make this happen entails making tough choices. Choices clearly the leaders of this city are unwilling to make (presumably because they will piss off motorists).

This is a farce.

Miss Heather

UPDATE, 10/30/09 2:00 p.m.: Sure enough, the dismount signs have been removed from the Pulaski Bridge.

nosigns

pulaski2

pulaski1

Williamsburg Halloween Watch: Blowing Chunks

I have to admit, I’m pretty darned disappointed with the jack o’ lanterns to be found around Brooklyn this year. That is not to suggest I haven’t seen some cute ones. I have. But living in Greenpoint for ten years has predisposed me towards to grotesque (and downright gross). Luckily enough I found a couple of choice specimens today in the 11211. Here they are.

South 1st Street

spew

This is more like it!

Powers Street

barf

Ordinarily I frown upon illustrated pumpkins, but the sheer ingenuity employed here is truly noteworthy and deserving of a New York Shitty shout-out. Great job!

Miss Heather

P.S.: I suppose no post about puking pumpkins would be complete without bringing back this oldie but goody from Halloween past which hailed from our very own Humboldt Street.

hurlingonhumboldtnys


Southside Photo Du Jour: Lightning Strikes

October 13, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11211, Street Art, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

ALL

From Wythe Avenue.

Miss Heather

Williamsburg Photos Du Jour: Southside Selections

September 30, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11211, Bloomblight, Street Art, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

lonewolf

Berry Street

shipwreck

South 5 Street

ben

hearts

South 6 Street

freakshow

Dunham Place

Miss Heather

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