From The New York Shitty Inbox: He’s Baaaack!

September 18, 2014 ·
Filed under: 11211, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

hes back nys

I have received word from Citizen Robin (who took the photo gracing the beginning this of this post that one of Williamsburg’s more notable citizens, “Joe”, has returned to 373 Graham Avenue. I can assure you this is an event about which Mr. Loiacono’s neighbors— and probably the 90th and 94th Precincts— do not share this sign maker’s or (in all likelihood) these women’s enthusiasm.

sign and broken door

The reasons for this are numerous— far too numerous to recount here. What’s more I need not do so: there is a web site dedicated solely to this fellow’s misdeeds— and impressive array of hooliganism it is! Yours truly’s personal favorite is violating a restraining order. This he saw fit to do in a spectacular manner. Namely, chasing the person protected by said order with a power saw. You can’t make this shit up, folks.

373 Graham Ave 9182014

This isn’t to suggest the residents of this building during Joe’s incarceration were a cake walk. They weren’t. The broken window in the above photograph bears silent witness to this fact. In any case as of yesterday, September 17th 2014, he’s back. And if the last time “Joe” matriculated from the criminal justice system (which came to pass in May of 2012) is any indication, he can be expected to be— how shall we say— a mite bit sullen?


Of course it is called the “penal/corrections” system for a reason. Club Med Riker’s is most decidedly not. My advice: tread carefully and quietly, Williamsburgers.

Happy Thursday, Graham Avenue!

Now Coming To The Silver Screen: Joe “373 Scam Avenue” Loiacono


That’s right folks: a mere six months have passed since this fellow was charged with a litany of downright nasty criminal acts and now two brave documentarians have not only decided his is a story worth telling but the Kickstarter community concurred! Follows is Ashley and Arielle’s “pitch”. I have bold-faced my favorite passages and added commentary as I have seen fit. Enjoy!

Set in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, Joe’s trinket shop symbolizes a fusion of two worlds: where traditional American-Italian ideals meet a new wave of hipsters. (Ed. Note: I am going to go out on a limb here and say if the “Italian Community” thereabouts learned that this fellow apparently represents them they would not happy.) U R Not Alone depicts the evolution of an unlikely friendship between this controversial man and two young women and continues with their dilemma once he is arrested. As they delve deeper into investigating Joe’s crimes and past, they bring audiences on their moral roller coaster ride – questioning the intrinsic societal predicaments he stands for. (Ed. Note: Here’s a “powerful moral dilemma”; you glorifying someone who repeatedly stole security deposits from people, attempted to assault his neighbor with a chainsaw (and as such was hit with a restraining order which he immediately violated) and has an extensive record of domestic violence and sexual assault.*) At a time when cultural and moral values are being re-assessed, Joe’s compelling character demands all who engage with him to challenge what is good, who is bad, what fits in, and what does not. How are those who do not quite fit the mold treated, and is it just?

A LITTLE MORE: In the fall of 2011 we met Joe: an overweight, generally shirtless man – adorned with eclectic jewelry, a fake guitar, and a very large mouth. U R Not Alone follows one man’s struggle with the law and society at large. His story has continuously challenged us with provocative questions and powerful moral dilemmas that will surely stir audiences and confront them in the same right. The film not only has the potential to demonstrate ambiguities, injustices, and manipulations of the American law system, but also highlights and challenges the roles of documentary filmmakers, their subjects, and the responsibility they have to one another as people.

Over the last year, we have followed this man on his path to self-destruction through alcohol, drugs, and false hopes. As we became better acquainted with Joe, we saw a side of him that nobody else seemed to. We watched as an entire neighborhood dismissed, and put away a man that they simply did not understand. (Ed. Note: “not understand” = objecting to being chased down the street with a chainsaw.)

The film depicts the evolution of an unlikely friendship between this controversial character and two young girls trying to capture his story, and continues with our dilemma once he is arrested. How much do we trust this man, and how far do we go for him? What do we see in Joe that the rest of the world does not? Are we being conned?

At a time when cultural and moral values are being re-assessed, Joe’s compelling character demands all who engage with him to challenge what is good, who is bad, what fits in, and what does not. How are those who do not quite fit the mold treated, and is it just?

Follows are a few of yours truly favorite “teasers.” What I found particularly interesting is how this documentary seems to be more about its makers than its “subject”. I love a steaming cup of narcissism in the morning!

Ride to Rikers from Ashley Benzwie on Vimeo.

Kiss the Girl – U R Not Alone from Ashley Benzwie on Vimeo.


Any and all interested in learning more about this sterling endeavor can do so by clicking here. WARNING/CAVEAT: Some eye and/or mind bleach might be required afterward— so do not say I did not warn you!

*Special thanks goes out to one of Joe’s neighbors and 373 Scam Avenue for the “moral focus” here.

From The New York Shitty Inbox, Part II: An Arrest At 373 Graham Avenue

October 10, 2012 ·
Filed under: 11211, Criminal Activity, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn, WTF 

I just received this update from Deputy Inspector Hurson himself:

We arrested Joseph Loiacono last night for forcible touching (he placed his hands on his female victims genitals). The victim was a friend of his. 


UPDATE, 9:22 p.m.: You can read more about what led up to “Joe’s” arrest by pointing and clicking your way to 373 Scam Avenue. WARNING/CAVEAT: the litany of charges being brought forth are seriously disturbing.

From The New York Shitty Inbox: Raided?

That’s right: today both the police and Department of Sanitation have raided 373 Graham Avenue. The word on the street, I have been told (but await confirmation*), is “Joe” physically and sexually assaulted his girlfriend. This is horrible folks.

Here’s what happened per the Commanding Officer of the 94th Precinct, D.I. Hurson:

We assisted the sanitation dept in removing the garbage he had placed in front of his building. In the past he had given the sanitation dept a hard time they also gave him several summonses today even though he wasn’t present this morning

Photo Credits: Robin Hagert  and Melissa Kerwin respectively.

Williamsburg Photos Du Jour: Halloween Greetings From 373 Graham Avenue

Or: He’s Baaacck!

Contrary to reports that the police vacated north Brooklyn’s perennial haunted house last Friday, Joe (as he is known) is back. As for how Joe feels about his latest visit from the local constabulary, well, methinks the following missive (as well as the fact he appears to have erected a barricade as seen above) might be an indication.

It is interesting to note that after I took the above photographs a young man exited the apartment on the second floor. He told a neighbor he can no longer abide having Joe as a neighbor (and one would presume: landlord). I found this interesting for a number of reasons. Foremost among them: there is no Certificate of Occupancy for this building.


To be continued (no doubt)…



Williamsburg Photo Du Jour: 373 Graham Avenue

Taken October 2, 2012.

Williamsburg Photos Du Jour: 373 Graham Avenue

August 19, 2012 ·
Filed under: 11211, Crazy People, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

Yes gentle readers, it would appear this is the latest “service” our Graham Avenue’s good friend has seen fit to offer the general public. My advice to any/all interested sun worshippers: you might want to take into consideration this fellow has chased someone with a chainsaw.*

*As it would happen, I had the dubious honor of pointing out this fact to a couple of ladies dancing with Joe earlier this summer. Follows is how I recounted it to a few of his beleaguered neighbors:

Hey, I thought you all would enjoy a little “fun” I had with Joe before (amusingly enough) this evening’s Public Safety Committee meeting.

I was quite hungry as it would happen my taco purveyor of choice is located one block away from 373 Graham Avenue. Well, “Joe” was in especially good form this evening. Not only did he have his music cranked up to some ungodly volume, but he was singing as well. Noting that the owner of the hardware store next door was sitting in a chair watching this shitshow unfold, I struck up a conversation with him. Very simply put, he is tired of his neighbor, has apparently brought this to Marie’s and Gerry’s attention repeatedly and has lodged a number of complaints. “Joe’s” response to all of this is that he is being harassed. That’s when I opined to my new friend:

Well, he does have a restraining order against him for chasing someone with a chainsaw so I suppose he would be an expert on harassment.

He found this really funny. Wanting to get food (because I was REALLY HUNGRY) I told this fellow we’d resume our conversation on my way back. I’m glad I did! On my way back “Joe” was out front dancing with not one but two 20-something women. The owner of the hardware found this as darkly amusing as I did. In fact, I told him:

If Joe goes inside I am going to tell these women about his affection for chainsaws.

Then by some act of divine providence, Joe’s CD player started malfunctioning. BADLY. So I skipped on over and very calmly/glibly (think like I was talking about the weather) said the following:

You know this guy has a restraining order against him for chasing someone with a chainsaw, yes?

Their initial response was to giggle like a couple 14 year olds. I said nothing more but gave them my “I am not joking” face. Not only did they stop laughing but they ran— RAN— as fast as they could around the corner. I was a couple doors away when Joe finally came back out. The look of confusion and disappointment on his face was priceless.

Quicklink: From The C-Town Tumblr Page

For those of you who are not in the know, the C-Town located at 330 Graham Avenue has a tumblr page. And today it was brought to my attention by a fellow we’ll “T” that they too have had issues with the rather, um, eccentric fellow who calls 373 Graham Avenue his place of enjoyment. I can only wonder what 373 Scam Ave will have to say about this

From The New York Shitty Inbox, Part II: Benefit Concert At 373 Graham Avenue?

July 28, 2012 ·
Filed under: 11211, Crazy People, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

A concerned neighbor writes on the evening of July 27, 2012:

Considering I had to make noise complaints in the wee hours of the morning the past two days, I am super not looking forward to this so called concert tonight. Sorry for the poor photo, am trying to fly under the radar here and didn’t want to spend too much time lingering!

From The New York Shitty Inbox: Anyone Have $799,999?

If so, you can make 373 Graham Avenue (as seen above) all yours. Really. I am not kidding.

New York Shitty Analysis

My advice: Unless you have the dubious honor of being “Joe’s” neighbor (in which case you should start a Kickstarter campaign— STAT) take your business to 419 Graham Avenue instead…

Credits/Props: Special thanks go out to Sarah and Devery for bringing these items to my attention.

  • NYS Flickr Pool

    Coney Island/Stillwell Avenue StationThe Friends Forever Bench #GillieandMarc #TravelEverywhereWithLovecallbox, decoratedthe colossus of the bronxJustice by Carole A. Feuerman IIfound - books!amazing books in a dumpster - mother goosemickey and horse ride not work
  • Ads