Greenpoint
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Culture on the Cheap
Bushwick Photo du Jour: In Bloom
Filed under: Bushwick
From Bogart Street.
Miss Heather
Vollies Wanted: Bed Bug Workshop
Here’s a taste of New York Shitty’s Kafkaesque bureaucracy for you: HPD agrees to raise awareness about bed bugs in Greenpoint March 6, 2008. The Greenpoint Reformed Church is the venue, the date is set: May 6, 2008. The city provides the above dorky (and copy-edited by yours truly because it had typos) flier. In English.
Problem: Not everyone in Greenpoint speaks English.
We have Spanish fliers, we have English fliers. What we don’t have are Polish fliers. Apparently the city needs 60 days to turn around that kind of thing. Do the math. This puts my buddy Ann (at the Greenpoint Reformed Church) in a position. The purpose of this post is two-fold:
- We need people to distribute fliers in Williamsburg, Greenpoint and Long Island City.
- We need someone to transcribe (READ: do data entry) this flier into Polish. The city (in its intransigence) won’t do it, so we will!
Anyone who is interested in helping out can contact the head honcha for this project— the inimitable Ann Kansfield— at:
ann (at) greenpointchurch (dot) org
Miss Heather
Fedders Friday: Gas Guzzler’s Delight
As I put forth in this post, there appears to be a striking corrolation between Fedders Specials and over-sized motor vehicles. Wishing to test my pet theory out, I went to the headquarters of all things Fedders: Bushwick. Here are my findings.
JEFFERSON STREET
This thoroughfare is a hot bed of Fedders activity.
Exhibit A
As you can see, nary a lick of this property was wasted on plant life— not when valuable parking spaces will be lost! Priorities, folks!
Exhibit B
I suppose it would only be logical that the kind of person who doesn’t mind coming home to a Soviet-era pile of crapitecture every day would probably not be too concerned about greenhouse emissions or paying $4.00 for a gallon of gas. To the developer’s credit, at least this building has some semblance of a yard.
Exhibit C
While technically not a Fedders building (the air conditioning boxes are Friedrichs), this building has all the hallmarks of Fedderist Style:
- Exposed meters
- No greenery whatsoever
- Some rather jaunty vandalism and…
- Ample parking
GEORGE STREET
While not nearly as impressive as its neighbor to the south, it has not been left unscathed. Case in point:
Nothing say “Howdy neighbor” like a five foot tall fence condoning off the entire frontage of your house.
EVERGREEN AVENUE
Ass = Big ass Fedders Special + Big ass cars parked out front
But enough of this penny ante shit! Let’s see us a— how should I say— more statuesque example of Fedderization, shall we?
STOCKHOLM STREET SYNDROME
This one really needs to be seen in person to be appreciated.
But this detail should give you some idea of the delights that await you if you decide to make this monolith your home.
Let’s finish off this week’s installment of Fedder’s Friday with a bang by giving honorable mention to this bad boy on Troutman Street!
Granted, it possesses no Fedders boxes whatsoever but it embodies the spirit of Fedderization.
This is the entrance. The developers left nothing to chance: this gate is a full six feet tall.
Drive safely!
Miss Heather
Bushwick Gentrification Watch: Behind The Green Door
Filed under: Bushwick
Clearly this neighborhood is poised to become the next great outer borough Valhalla any day now. If any of you ladies or gentleman want a good ass kicking (but don’t want to pay those outrageous Manhattan prices) head to this house on Bushwick Avenue. The concierge will be more than happy to oblige you.
Miss Heather
RightRides
I found this flier outside the Broadway stop of the G train last weekend and feel compelled to pass it along. RightRides offers “safe walks” to Bushwick, Bed-Stuy, Williamsburg, Fort Greene and Greenpoint Friday nights between 11:00 p.m. and 2:00 a.m. It is a service definitely worth checking out if you happen to be out late and feel reluctant to walk home alone. All you need to do is call 1-866-977-WALK and they’ll do the rest!
For more information about RightRides (including their service area, hours and free ride program), click here and you will be directed to their web site.
Miss Heather
Fedders Free For All!
I have been trying to figure out which variety of Fedders Specials I hate more: utilitarian buildings that make no effort whatsoever to “fit” into the environment around them or buildings that ape older architecture and fail miserably. I simply cannot make up my mind. For this reason I have decided to feature examples of BOTH for your edification today. Enjoy!
Representing Bushwick, I present to you The Three Faces of Decatur!
Our first contestant hails from the intersection of Decatur Street and Bushwick Avenue. This is the front.
Or is this the front?
Or perhaps this is the front? It’s rather hard to tell. Truth be told, I don’t think this building even knows for certain. If it did, at least the doors would match. Can I speak to Decatur White please?
Representing Carroll Gardens, I present the Columbia Street Cornice.
One of these cornices is authentic, the other is an impostor. Care to guess which one?
If you guessed this one as being the impostor you are correct! That said, this is a pretty admirable reproduction. Whoever fabricated it should be proud.
Unfortunately the same cannot be said about the rest of said building.
What the fuck were they thinking when they did this brickwork over the door and windows? Wait— don’t tell me. I don’t want to know.
Which brings me to today’s final contestant. Representing Williamsburg at five stories is…
this thing.
Excusez moi, it’s called the LEANZA.
I wonder what “Leanza” means? Is it Italian for avert your eyes when the scaffolding comes down? Inasmuch as it pains me to write this, I think I might have found a building that makes the Belvederes look tasteful by comparison.
God help us all.
Miss Heather
Bushwick Photo du Jour: Heisser Triangle
Filed under: Bushwick
From Bleecker Street.
Those of you who wish to learn a little more about this monument, check out Forgotten-NY’s page about Myrtle and Knickerbocker Avenue!
Miss Heather
Bushwick Photo du Jour: Bad Posture
Filed under: Bushwick
This sloucher is from Starr Street.
Miss Heather
Borough Of Lost Toys, Part III
One thing I really love about Brooklyn is their love of toys. As I walk our borough’s streets I never know when I will find a tug boat perched atop a quonset, a leopard hiding in a shrub or a dapperly dressed plastic duck. But enough with the words, let’s see some toys!
Myrtle Avenue, Fort Greene
Wythe Avenue, Williamsburg
Stuyvesant Avenue, Bedford Stuyvesant
Boerum Street, “East Williamsburg”
Putnam Avenue, Bedford Stuyvesant.
I got into an interesting discussion with a gentleman (and Marine Corps. veteran) who lives across the street from this planter. That’s one thing I have noticed about Bed-Stuy; the people who live there are incredibly friendly and LOVE to talk.
Neighbor: I saw the guy who put the leopard in that planter.
Miss Heather: Really?
Neighbor: Yes, it was around midnight. I thought to myself “You know, if he wants to do that kind of thing he should do it on his own property. Someone’s liable to walk by this at twelve hundred or thirteen hundred, you know, in the morning, drunk, and think, Hey it’s a kitten!”
Did I mention Bed-Stuyers also have a wicked sense of humor?
Miss Heather
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