The Poo Corner Project: Mission Accomplished!

Yes gentle readers, you read me correctly. The “Poo Corner Project”— a ground-breaking experiment in behavior modification— is officially over. At least for the time being. The last gargantuan grogan found by yours truly was on December 8th (as seen below).

After this nothing. For those of you keeping count this makes over a week of turd-free sidewalks.

As for what was the deciding factor that motivated our poopetrator to cease his (her?) rather unneighborly habit of strafing these sidewalks with shit, only he knows for certain. Was it the Sugar Plum fairies (as seen above)? I doubt it. Was it the rather churlish missives left by a fellow malcontent? Quite possibly. Or was my appeal to national pride which proved to be the tipping point? I for one can only hope so.

However, it’s been my observation there are some questions best left unanswered. This may very be one such case. We Greenpointers (and our guests via the East River Ferry) should simply be happy we can walk down this stretch of sidewalk with some assurance our feet, eyes and most importantly NOSES will not be assaulted by dog bombs. Is there still room for improvement? ABSOLUTELY. Case in point:

There is still a great deal of rubbish to be found here. Among other things. I can only hope our friends at the Department of Sanitation can help us sort this out.

Regardless, here is some footage of the new and (somewhat) improved “Poo Corner” as shot by yours truly today. Enjoy!

But what would a behavior modification experiment be without employing the “carrot” as well as the “stick”? Not a very good one, I say! So to wrap things up I dusted off my sidewalk chalk and left a few words of encouragement— and a warning.

Greenpoint Street Art du Jour: PULL

From “Poo Corner”.*

*Whose “activity”, while not completely eradicated, has seriously diminished.

This makes only one shit (and a somewhat stealthy one at that) in four days.

The Poo Corner Project: Failure To Communicate?

On December 1, 2011 I wrote:

This might— MIGHT— be a half-assed attempted by our poopetrator at exercising something called common courtesy!

Only time will tell…

Well gentle readers, I have good news and bad news. We’ll start with the bad news first. The next day I encountered a grogan of mammoth proportions.

In a fit of sheer frustration, I decided to ask my ne’er do well neighbor a question.

While considering the situation it hit me:

Maybe this person cannot read?

I mean, with this being “Little Poland” there is a very strong chance our poopetrator is not fluent in English (by virtue of the fact he/she is Polish). Thus, I decided perhaps an appeal to national pride was in order.

And as of today I am delighted to report nary a single new shit was found. This makes two turd-free days!

The Poo Corner Project: Strange Days

As I noted earlier this week a fellow disgruntled neighbor of the India Street “Bomber” has seen fit to add his/her own missives to “Poo Corner” (one of which can be seen at left). While somewhat surprising, I have taken this curious development in stride. All experiments— be they in a laboratory or “in the field”— have variables. I am doing my best to factor this into my endeavor. But not without a mistake or two along the way. The Poo Corner Project is not just about dung-watching: it is also a journey of self-discovery. And today I learned not to let my own prejudices color an interpretation of the facts.

CASE IN POINT: the following smattering of scat.

The above is what awaited my delectation during yesterday’s sortee. After considerable thought I concluded one of two things happened:

  1. Someone had a very unfortunate collision with said “grogan”.
  2. Someone possibly caught our miscreant in the act and Greenpoint “street justice” (the very best kind, I assure you) came to pass.

I decided point #1 was the most likely scenario, so I annotated the (former) turd accordingly.

During today’s sweep of “Poo Corner” nary a new turd was to be found. From India to West I went in search of merde. Not believing my own eyes, I traced my path back. Nothing new— save this:

I’m guessing the autumn leaves (and there are many gracing the piece of Bloomblight which is 32 India Street) concealed this message on my previous visitations. Not today. I noted its close proximity to the previously-depicted “shit smear” and reached a very different conclusion:

This might— MIGHT— be a half-assed attempted by our poopetrator at exercising something called common courtesy!

Only time will tell. Buoyed by the positive results of the above (albeit admittedly surly) attempt at outreach/mutual understanding regarding this miscreant’s rather gross “domestic product” I decided a monument was in order.

Presenting “The G8 Summit”.

More undoubtedly to come…

The Poo Corner Project: And Then There Were Two?

As I prognosticated yesterday, today’s “load” was dispatched on India Street. I refrained from annotating it, as the rainfall would render my sidewalk chalk useless. But does today’s dispatch end here? Not by a long-shot, gentle readers. When I rounded the corner onto West Street I doscovered something rather interesting.

It would appear someone has seen fit to voice his/her dissatisfaction with this dog owner’s anti-social behavior. Exactly how this will influence my study/behavioral experiment remains to be seen.

But the sugar plum fairies are taking it all in stride…

UPDATE, 3:41 p.m.: I am pleased as punch to announce my endeavor has not gone unnoticed/appreciated by our friends on the left coast. Click here and see the magic for yourself!

The Poo Corner Project: An Update

Things have been pretty touch and go lately with the holiday weekend and periodic fits of extreme rainfall we’ve been experiencing. However, this is not to suggest I have not been keeping on top of this situation. I most assuredly have. In fact, I have made a very interesting discovery. Once which I believe requires passing along forthwith. Without further ado here it is:

Our poopetrator seems to be alternating his (her) bombing raids between West and India Street.

Whether or not this is due to him (her?) noticing my annotations is anyone’s guess. Still, the evidence is pretty compelling.

November 24, 2011

Thanksgiving tidings from West Street.

November 27, 2011

He’s back at it on India Street.

November 28, 2011

And back to West Street he goes.

Has this person taken notice of my little project and feels some semblance of shame? Or is he simply revolted by his best friend’s doggie dumplings (like the rest of us)? This is the question I plan to tackle next. However, before leaving Poo Corner today I decided to leave my new friend a bit of holiday cheer.

With a dash of pixie dust— okay, make that glitter— I christen this creation “Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies”!

Ho! Ho! Ho!

UPDATE, 4:15 p.m.: It would appear my little gesture has not gone unnoticed. A chap we’ll call “N” writes:

I check out your blog a lot, it rules. Nice work! i was walking down west st today when i came across this. figured it was good material for your site. attached are two files. hope all is well, happy holidaze.

The Poo Corner Project: Waxing Philosophical

This morning yours truly swung by Poo Corner to see how things were developing. Much to my surprise (and despite a stuffed leopard keeping watch), our poopetrator has resumed “bombing” India Street. The two above specimens were particularly— how shall we say— fragrant.

Happy Thanksgiving From New York Shitty!

This trio of well-wishers hails from none other than our very own “Poo Corner” which, it should be noted in a curious new development, seems to have been relocated to West and Java Street.

Bon appetit!

A New York Shitty Exclusive: The Poo Corner Project

Earlier this month I shared the good news of a smart phone-sized (and curiously Kings County-shaped) pile of poo gracing the intersection of India and West Street (as seen at left in its replete fly-infested Greenpoint glory). I did so at the prompting of a tipster we’ll call “C”. She wrote:

I’m now naming India St between Franklin/West “poop alley”….someone either is pooping, has a huge dog, or cow on that street…theres like 50 loads.

I implored you, gentle readers, as to whom— or what— was responsible for these behemoth pieces of ordnance:

Does anyone amongst you, gentle readers, know who— or perhaps more appropriately what— is responsible for this? I’m intrigued.

I have received some very interesting leads as a result. One seems especially promising. It was with the person from whom I received this tip that I had a most interesting discussion. It basically went as follows:

1. Why does this person see fit to inflict these salvos of shit on his/her neighbors?
2. (following point #1) Does he/she think his/her neighbors simply do not notice? Given the rather foul perfume which permeates one’s nose upon reaching 32 India Street (the eastern perimeter of what I have since dubbed “Poo Corner”) I find this rather implausible.
3. (following points #1 and #2) Or does he/she not care?

I wanted— no, make that NEEDED— to know the answers to these questions. Thus I summoned my inner urban anthropologist/behaviorist to help me find an answer and in so doing the “Poo Corner Project” was born. Its basic principles/premises are as follows:

1. I am going to assume the party (parties?) responsible are under assumption that no one is troubled by these turds.
2. To correct this erroneous notion, I will circle and assign a number to each and every pile of poop I find in this area.
3. Each and every new mountain of merde henceforth will be circled, assigned a number and dated as to when I discover it.
4. Points #2 and #3 not only serve as some means of tracking the scat, but also to make it clear to their poopitrators that these annotations are not some random series of scribblings. I can assure you, this being Greenpoint, such a clarification is necessary.
5. All the previous points are predicated on the hope/expectation of observing how these errant dog owners will respond. Will they feel a sense of shame or persevere in their rather UN-neighborly behavior?

Thus far the results are rather compelling, if puzzling. Let’s review my preliminary findings as documented on November 12, 2011.


1. Fourteen “loads” were found.
2. The woman pushing the stroller in the background of #7 inquired as to what I was doing. I explained my project to her. She voiced her approval and added she once accidentally mired said stroller in one of these gargantuan dog bombs.
3. Upon recognizing that what I had on my hands (underfoot) was an archipelago of poop, I decided to roll with this concept regarding the rather impressive #10.

I call this piece “Booty” (for obvious reasons). Now let’s jump forward to November 14, 2011.

I observed in addition to unbagged poop someone has seen fit to bag— and yet dump— their dog’s poo in this area. I gave this an “A” for effort but “F” for follow-through.

Why would someone go to the trouble of bagging and not throwing this away in a garbage can?

I asked myself. Over and over.

I missed this somewhat weather-worn specimen. I assigned it a number but refrained from dating it.

Number 18 was discovered. Note its placement next to #11. And most curiously…

forty-eight hours later turd #13 has gone MIA. Once again, I asked myself:


November 15, 2011

Upon encountering two more “gift bags” of discarded doggie goodness I decided to ask the obvious question of its author:


In a similar (if reverse-psychologically motivated) move, I inquired as to the whereabouts of #13.

And lastly we have #19, as noted today November 15, 2011.


1. In terms of unbagged turdage, the growth rate stays at 0%.
However, it should be noted the gross rate has gone up significantly with #19 replacing #13.
Bagged turdage is, however, growing steadily.
4. Chalk needs to be left so as to facilitate a dialogue with these ne’er doo wells moving forward. No worries: it has been purchased.

To be continued…

From The New York Shitty Inbox, Part II: Special Delivery

A person we’ll call “M” writes (in an email entitled “Park Slope Pooper”):

Hi Miss H,

As you noticed from my facebook status, I had a close-up shitty encounter in my building vestibule today. I thought you might appreciate the lowdown.

The initial sighting was upon leaving the apartment a little after noon. The vestibule is between two supposedly locked doors. The first door is between the street and the mailboxes and a couple of non-live work spaces (both of which are currently rented). And the second separates the vestibule from the stairway to the apartments within.

The outer door is malfunctioning. Again. Last time, I had a renewal credit card stolen and some happy thief charged themselves a few trinkets and some flashy new duds. The time before, a mail-order purchase never arrived, or more likely it was stolen. But this time, I got the prize.

Poop. A big, smelly blob of shit and a couple of shit-streaked paper towels strewn nearby, icing on the freakin’ cake.

The best thing about this is, there is no super or landlord onsite. Anything that happens on the weekend, you are, pardon the pun, SOL. If you want the poop cleaned up, you’re doing the cleaning. Unless you want step over a pile of feces all weekend.

I have several neighbors, but unless everyone stayed in their homes this morning, they must have seen, and just stepped over the offensive pile. Someone had sprayed a copious amount of lemon-scented air freshener in the hallway (it was needed) but no one had bothered to even contact the landlord about the incident prior to my doing so. Sadly, this “someone will take care of it” attitude is common in my building and my rapidly-changing neighborhood. Yea, someone else. Notes posted in the hall and repeated emails to each tenant instructing them to shut the “security” door firmly and make sure it is fastened properly, have fallen on deaf ears.

So, while holding my breath and with multiple layers of makeshift plastic bags as “gloves” protecting my hands, I cleaned up the disgusting human waste and poured disinfectant on the toilet-spot. But before I did so, I snapped these shots that I thought you would appreciate. Excuse the blurriness, but I was fighting off a stench that surpasses that of Newtown Creek after the rains.

Now that the Park Slope Pooper has found vestige in my vestibule, what can I anticipate finding tomorrow morning?

Feel free to post my sad tale, and please keep my identity/contact info confidential.

Happy Saturday!

Right back at ya, M!

Miss Heather

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