New York Shitty Photo du Jour: From North 12 Street With Love

Today yours truly saw a number of remarkable things while knocking around north Brooklyn, but this item (which is located in front of The Residences at The Williamsburg) takes the cake. Whether the medium is the message is anyone’s guess. Speaking for myself, I am less curious as to the “why” behind this as the “how”.

Miss Heather

From The New York Shitty Inbox: Breakfast At McGolrick Park

Catherine (who captured the above gem) writes:

Saw this while walking my dog this morning!

It would appear the first two courses of this al fresco meal have been consumed by one of our fellow citizens. Whether or not this gourmand sports two legs or four is anyone’s guess. In any case, Dzien dobry from Greenpoint, Brooklyn U.S.A.¬†Also known as the Garden Spot of the Universe!

Miss Heather

Dung of The Day: Waterbury Street

When I spied this upstanding little fella (?) this afternoon I could not resist fashioning a little head gear so as to protect him from the elements. It’s nasty out there!

Miss Heather

Live From Community Board 1: D.O.G.G.O.Ne. Speaks

It should be noted that our Parks employee/”Parks advocate”, Stephanie Thayer, had signed up to speak at the end of the proceedings. However, when called to speak it was discerned she had left after the “Tennis Bubble” presentation.¬† This would lead one to believe that Ms. Thayer is not interested in what’s her public here has to say. I find this curious given when this OSA/Parks Department “partnership” was “pitched” to my community, Greenpoint, is was stated she would be as an “insider” within the Parks Department on the behalf of my community. To date she has been nothing more than a tool: for the Parks Department and monied interests to influence what does— and more importantly does not— get done in north Brooklyn.

I’m guessing when Bloomturd runs for a fourth term (and/or his follower wants to make nice) we will at long last get some wood chips and fencing for a dog run here. This seems to be how things roll in Greenpoint. Otherwise I’d like to advise Ms. Thayer that life— be it four-legged and otherwise— does exist outside of McCarren Park. And while she has been asking herself what our parks can do for her, we’ve been asking ourselves what has sheour ostensible public servant/”parks advocate”— done for us?

Answer: Nothing.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: Fallen

From Greenpoint Avenue.

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Ender: Theatre In A Van

Taken September 10, 2010.

Miss Heather

From The New York Shitty Inbox: A Very Special Request

As you can probably imagine I receive a number of very interesting requests in my inbox. Methinks this one (which arrived this morning) may very well take the cake. It comes a graduate student no less. He/she writes:

My name is (excised) and I’m a grad student at the Pratt Institute (Environmental Management Systems) enrolled in a “Solid Waste Management” class. Our coursework involves creating a “zero waste” plan for McCarren Park. As an initial step we’re attempting to inventory and classify sources of waste in the park, and one of those sources is of course doggy poo. I’m working with my colleague (excised), who is copied on this email.

We’d like to come up with an estimate how much volume of dog poo we’re dealing with. Do you have any sense of how many “hits” this dog park gets on an average day? Do know someone who might have any helpful stats on this?

Thanks in advance for any info you might be willing to share.

Yes this site was initially premised on the dog shit problem on my community. But— in this is a big but— over the (almost) four years I have operated New York Shitty, its subject matter has expanded tremendously. I rarely feature dog doo on this site anymore (with the occasional exception of charmers like the one gracing the beginning of this post which I recently found on Berry Street. The hearts are a nice touch.). I am simply too busy. What’s more, I have better things to do than count turds. Especially in sub-freezing weather.

Nonetheless, I want to be helpful. I too was a graduate student once. Granted, I never had to aggregate turds— but I sculpted quite a few. A number of them were quite convincing. To this end I have forwarded this person’s request to a few folks I suspect will be in the know. I would also like input from you, my readers. How much dog shit do you think is in McCarren Park on any given day? You can tender your estimate via comments or email at: missheather (at) thatgreenpointblog (dot) com. I will forward your responses.

I thank you in advance for your immediate attention to this matter.

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Starter: Aw @#$%

January 20, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11211, Dog Shit, Dung of the Day, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

From North 7 Street.

Miss Heather

Dung of the Day: Reading is Fundamental

This weekend I bumped into my buddy Beatrice, the lovely lady and former proprietress of Casa Mon Amour. After much catching up she busted my chops for deviating from my web site’s initial premise: shit. I explained to her that there is so much of interest going on in our humble ‘burgh that merde has fallen by the wayside. What’s more, over the years I have become much more selective about the scatological specimens I feature.

southchina

Luckily for her I found I most tantalizing tableau today right next door to the Viridian* at the South China Import Company! I will start with the arrow at far left.

shit

Someone (or something) had a problem.

vibes

An attempt was made to clean up the problem using a flier advertising a summer shindig in Bridgeport, Connecticut: Gathering of the Vibes.

milan

When this failed our intrepid pooper scooper used what was at hand. In this case, a paperback copy of Milan Kundera’s Book of Laughter and Forgetting.

book

Am I the only person who finds this sort of depressing?

Miss Heather

*Whose craftsmanship, I assure you, is stellar as ever.

shims

shacks

I have no idea what this is about— and truth be told I don’t think I want to know. What I can tell you is it obstructs the sidewalk and I am none too happy about it.

shackattack

Yes sir. I imagine this piece of affordable housing will find a tenant in no time!

Bloomturds!

I have given our fair mayor a lot of guff of late. Today I was reminded of some of his notable achievements as I strolled the streets of Williamsburg. I felt a twinge of guilt. In the interest of giving credit where it is truly due I will showcase my finds here.

224wytheNYS

This is 224 Wythe Avenue. At a casual glance this may appear to be yet another half completed construction site/eye sore. I assure you this is not the case: upon closer examination you will learn it is much, much more!

SHIT

I suspect I speak for many when I write that public lavatories are in short supply in north Brooklyn. Granted, this one is not appointed with toilet paper or soap— but then again most of the facilities around here aren’t. To its credit the Wythe Avenue crapper does sport a measure of much needed privacy and the orange safety fence is a nice touch.

north10st

There are a great many privies to be found in Williamsburg. All one need to do is look for them. Above is my personal favorite. It hails from North 9 Street.

north10stshit

This brings a whole new meaning to the phrase “full of shit”. I don’t know about you but I’d be exhausted after discharging such a copious amount of effluvia from my body.

peestainedmattress

Thankfully someone has been kind enough to donate a mattress to this al fresco pissoir.

north4street

But Bloomblight need not be so abject. It can also be uplifting. Just take North 4 Street (as seen above), for example.

stuff

protheses

No longer need those prostheses? Freecycle ’em on North 4 Street. Someone else might!

peaceofme

I present for your peace of mind a piece of leg!

gadget

What in god’s name IS this?

Miss Heather

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