Crosstown Local Photo Du Jour: Fulton Street

burns

This post goes out to the campaign worker who hit my buzzer at 7:00 p.m. this evening and asked me (by my legal name— which indicates she culled it from the voter registration rolls):

Hi, (my legal name) I’m a campaign worker for Michael Bloomberg. Do you plan on voting for him this November?

Me:

No, Thank you.

My buddy at Queens Crap thought I was showing traces of my Texas upbringing: humble hospitality. Hardly. I have made up my mind who I want for mayor…

burnsNYS

and it is Montgomery Burns!

I suspect I speak for many of my fellow Greenpointers when I write that I have given up on decent (not exceptional, above average or even average) representation (for our taxation). Many candidates (and the self-appointed pillars of our community who backed them— you know who you are) cloaked themselves in the sanctimonious cloth of reform in the months leading up to the Democratic primary and run-off. And these same people, the reformers, engaged in some of the sleaziest campaign practices, tricks, duplicity, chicanery and outright intimidation I have ever beheld. Probably because they were seeking sinecures— but that’s my humble opinion.

If I stated, for example— and this is totally hypothetical— that the McCarren Park Soccer League’s email list was used to solicit votes David Yassky or Bill DeBlasio I’d be totally out of line. If I stated (once again, for example— hypothetical) that youths 18 years and older in said soccer league were hired to canvass for Evan Thies before the Democratic primary I have no doubt it would net me a nastygram from a lawyer.

But I am not suggesting either of the previous came to pass. I’m just hypothesizing. I have a very active imagination. The pillars of my community have reminded me of this. Often.

James “Jimmy” John Walker, one of our fair city’s more corrupt (if charming, dapper and loquacious) Mayors summed my cynicism when he said:

A reformer is a guy who rides through the sewer in a glass bottom boat.

What does “reform” mean when we are forced to choose among candidates whose records REEK? Candidates who have clearly dipped their tootsies into the sewer of New York City real politik and will promise anything to anyone in order to get elected?

For this reason I am backing Burns. Burns is honest about his corruption. He promises nothing. He does not claim to be a reformer and as such I can anticipate being screwed six ways to Sunday under his regime. In this regard Bloomberg is much more circumspect. The true hallmark of a masochist is the anticipation of punishment. I am not a masochist. It’s a matter of control.

I prefer to take my medicine upfront— and make Mike my bitch.

Miss “Sorry Staten Island, you’re on your own*” Heather

P.S.: For more information about how Montgomery Burns Bloomberg will lead this city into 21st 19th Century click here. Caveat: be ready to laugh your ass off. Who knew plutocracy and political disenfranchisement could be so fun(ny)?

*This is satire.

Happy Pulaski Day From New York Shitty!

October 4, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, New York City 

polska

Yes, fellow Greenpointers, it is the big day! Those of you who are interested can get the full rundown today’s festivities by clicking here. Happy merry-making!

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Photo Du Jour: La Reina Celia!

October 2, 2009 ·
Filed under: Manhattan, New York City 

celia

From East 103 Street, Manhattan.

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Ender: A Very Special Employment Opportunity

September 28, 2009 ·
Filed under: Advanced Life Forms, Area 51, Brooklyn, Manhattan, New York City, Park Slope 

The Professor writes:

Hey Heather

I just ran across such a ridiculous Craigslist ad that I thought you might wanna see it. I don’t know that it’s anything you can use for your blog, or whatever, but it’s just such an extensively dumb solicitation that I thought you’d at least get a laugh.

Although, it could be a perfect setup for a big prank…*

Doc writes (in the aforementioned Craigslist advertisement):

Hi. Even for Craig’s List, this is going to be a strange ad. But read on – it’s strange but legit.

I’m a single, straight guy, in my early 40’s, recently moved to NYC, with almost no social circle here (and, even worse, I work on my own). No history of mental illnesss, jail time or listening to country music. Moving to NY has been fantastic, but the one thing is, I have been finding it hard to meet women. So I’m doing the normal, typical, rational thing that any guy in my position would do — I’m looking to hire a female “wingman,” that is, a “wingwoman,” to break the ice for me in social situations.

Strange but true.

This is a real job I’m offering; it’s not a personal ad in disguise, and I’m not a Nigerian scammer or a reality show producer, either. Perhaps more surprisingly, I’m also not a freak, weirdo or serial killer – I am just not good at walking up to a woman I don’t know and getting beyond “Hi” and I want to do something about it. (Basically, I want to avoid this guy’s fate.)

This would be a part-time, occasional gig. Get-togethers would be in Manhattan or Brooklyn; sometimes weekend afternoons, sometimes evenings. (Generally speaking, NOT in bars or nightclubs. I am more of a Brooklyn Flea / The Moth / Big Terrific / Midsummer Night Swing type of guy. This is also my kind of thing.) Probably 2-5 hours per stint. We would only meet in public places and I would pay you ($20/hour) cash.

And you don’t have to be single or even “unattached” to apply – there’s no “hanky panky” involved. (I really don’t care if you have a boyfriend, girlfriend or significant other, as long as that person knows about and is cool with the situation.)

If you want to know more details about the arrangement, check out these articles:

Are You With Him? Why Yes, Want to Date Him?

Wingwomen (8 pages long)…

WOW. I wonder if someone would pay me $20.00 an hour to be a cock blocker or chick repellent. I excel at both. I am a natural. “Doc” has also created a Facebook page which you can peruse by clicking here.

Miss Heather

P.S.: You can read “Doc’s” Craigslist ad in its entirety by clicking here or by clicking on the images below. Either way you’ll notice our man “Doc” is very detail-oriented!

CL1nys

CL2nys

CL3nys

P.S. #2: While I am on the subject of meetings and meat-markets, my good friends at Fucked In Park Slope will be hosting a “Meatup” this Wednesday, September 30th at The Bell House. For more information click here. B.Y.O.W. fellas.

*Or more annoying “viral” advertising.

Gratitude

September 10, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11211, Brooklyn, Greenpoint, New York City, Plagiarism, Williamsburg 

I rarely give shout-outs to blogs for the simple reason I do not have the time. After I have completed my posts, sift through the detritus in my inbox and surfed the webs I call it quits. Today I am going to make an exception. Brooklyn11211 writes in a post entitled Behold the Power of the Interwebs:

Brooklyn11211

I can independently verify Einstein’s theory of relativity. That doesn’t mean I should call it my own. The Post has no more right to its “exclusive” based on its own verification of a blog post.

You’re making a very dangerous proposition 11211. You are making the argument that “neighborhood bloggers” (the ghetto print establishment likes to relegate the likes of me and you) and journalists are equals. We’re not. Mr. Ginsberg’s missive makes this all too clear:

Post policy prevented me from crediting you in print. Allow me to do so now. You did a fantastic reporting job. All I had to do was follow your steps (and make a few extra phone calls).

I won’t discuss at length the policy of not crediting blogs (or anyone else). I’ll just briefly explain that as long as we can independently verify every bit of info, we don’t credit…

Looking forward to amplifying more of your good work in the future.

The truly nauseating thing about Mr. Ginsberg’s comment is he thought he was being nice— and that I should be somehow beholden to him for “amplifying” my scoop. I am not grateful. I am pissed off. And no amount of crying “Post policy” is going to change this. If anything, it is a clear indication of a lack of moral/ethical fiber on his part. But I suppose that comes with the territory.

Needless to say when I read Suzi Halpin’s defense of her employer I damned near had an aneurysm:

The New York Post credits blogs, bloggers, and other media all the time, as our readers know.

Except when when your readers don’t know— because your employer, the New York Post, doesn’t cite them. Which is often. Here are a few examples to refresh your memory Ms. Halpin.

fathergiorgiotriangle

September 14, 2008: I wrote a post about how the plaque at Father Giorgio Square was stolen. I happened to walk by when the police were taking a report. There was no way the institution you represent would have known about it save my blog. I published it on a Sunday. The next day Murdoch’s flunkies were on it like flies on shit. They even called the Brooklyn Kitchen to ask about their stolen tree. Is this your idea of reporting? Stolen trees?

103normanavegillespie

May 4, 2009: I get a tip about strange graffiti in Greenpoint. I post it. My readers decipher ityet it was a New York Post “exclusive”. I take up the matter and get what can be best described as a semi-literate and crazed email from its author: John Doyle. If the previous is an indication of what it takes to be a reporter, god help us all.

lets-take-mccarren-park

May 18, 2009: I wrote a post about a flier I found at McCarren Park decrying the noise made ice cream trucks. Reuven Fenton and his homeboy were on the scene the next day. I know this because a reader and contributor of mine bumped into them:

I was just finishing my run in McCarren Park when I saw a guy sporting two fancy cameras talking to another guy near the pool.  Being a sucker for men with big lenses, I ventured over to see what they were up to and it turns out they were from the Post covering a story on ice cream trucks disturbing the neighbors of McCarren Park.  I mentioned NYshitty covering the story and I asked them where they heard about this story and they said Curbed and Gothamist. Hmmm… no new york shitty? The dudes names were Reuben and Paul, wait isn’t that like Pee Wee?

I called them on it. And your publication gave me a crumby quote in return. Removed from context and not linked to despite my creation of a mirror site: www.thatgreenpointblog.com.

It was at this point I began to understand that the paper you represent depends on people like me for their livelihood.

Which brings me to your institution’s latest act of plagiarism.

117s3st

August 19, 2009: I wrote a post about “Cutting Edge Fitness” at the behest of a tipster.

It took awhile for the Post, the publication you represent, to get around to it, but lift it they did!

August 31, 2009

GYMRAT

Quite frankly, I was disappointed it took almost two full weeks for your employer to rip off this one, Suzi. I’m not a patient person. Thankfully I was engaged in other things and Alex Ginsberg saw fit to post this comment on my blog:

Post policy prevented me from crediting you in print. Allow me to do so now. You did a fantastic reporting job. All I had to do was follow your steps (and make a few extra phone calls).

I won’t discuss at length the policy of not crediting blogs (or anyone else). I’ll just briefly explain that as long as we can independently verify every bit of info, we don’t credit.

You will find that the Daily News observes the same policy, but the Times does not. (They often write an explanatory phrase like, ‘The investigation into Mr. Spitzer was first reported in the New York Post.’ That’s not a real one. I just made it up. Although I would note that another Times policy would prevent them from actually printing the name of your blog, presenting them with an unresolvable conflict between two inflexible rules.)

Looking forward to “amplifying” more of your good work in the future.

Alex

I wrote a blog post about it. And you have been hired to explain it away. There is no explanation: it is plagiarism, plain and simple.

To drive the point home (because it is all too clear Mr. Ginsberg, you and your employer is too “thick” or arrogant to “get it”) here are a few more examples:

2009_01_future-of-coney-copyGL

Gowanus Lounge, January 13, 2009:

This is yesterday’s news, because we ran the story on Curbed early yesterday morning, and we’re sure some of the papers are going to be “discovering” the story and having some fun with it today, but The Future of Coney Island website URL was acquired by a Belgian porn entrepreneur. (The Post’s Rich Calder predictably reports the story as though he discovered it without crediting Curbed for breaking the news.)

spaceinavaders

POSTED May 18, 2009

bulletspaceEVGRIEVE

May 12, 2009: EV Grieve posted this. Your reporter’s “scoop” is pretty much verbatim regurgitation of EV Grieve’s work.

May 28, 2009: the New York Post, your employer, posted this:

HOSTEL

Vanishing New York, reported about this as early as May 19,2009. What’s more he (she?) kept at it.

I have just cited seven examples where the New York Post, your employer, has blatantly lifted material from blogs without citing them, Suzi. If you need more I’ll gladly tender them to you.

I understand that you are in a very tenuous position, Suzi. The print media, New York Post included, has not adapted to the reality of online media. I suspect this is why your employer, Rupert Murdoch, is waging war on Google. When defeated the entitled try to change the rules:

Mr Murdoch, the chief executive of News Corp, was among the first to hit out at Google, one of the biggest aggregators through its Google News service.

“Should we be allowing Google to steal our copyrights? If you have a brand like the New York Times or the Wall Street Journal, you don’t have to.” Robert Thomson, the managing editor of the Wall Street Journal which is owned by News Corp, went further in his attack. “There is a collective consciousness among content creators that they are bearing the costs and that others are reaping some of the revenues. “There is no doubt that certain websites are best described as parasites or tech tapeworms in the intestines of the internet,” said Mr Thomson.

I find this ironic given the worst plagiarists I have dealt with to date, as a “blogger” (and by Murdoch’s definition a “parasite” or “tapeworm”) are New York Post reporters. Could you please clarify how your employer is any different from than various and sundry parasites who troll the webs and claim my content (as well as the above-listed as their own), Ms. Halpin?

To take Brooklyn11211’s more nuanced approach: if I can verify via “independent sources” that your employer, Rupert Murdoch, is an unscrupulous shitbag who is doing everything in his power to bully independent media, plagiarizes my blog and others— constantly, spouts right-wing bullshit and wants to suppress free speech do I need to cite him? I eagerly wait your answer to this question, Suzi Halpin.

Given the number of stories your publication has lifted from my blog I have ample credentials to be a “reporter” for crap rag you call the New York Post.

HIRE ME.

Oh wait— I have ethics.

Miss Heather

P.S.: Here’s a (working) honor roll of blogs, big and small, who have found Mr. Ginsberg’s/New York Post’s conduct objectionable:

From The New York Shitty Inbox: Gentrification?!?

iwanttolivehere

Interesting things happen when I stay up late. Mind you, they are not usually good things. But this case may very well be an exception: in the wee hours of the morning today the following found its way into my inbox.

Anni Atkinson of Earthsharing.org.au (Yes kids, that’s Australia) writes:

have you ever heard of GENTRIFICATION?

well, not many people have which is surprising as it effects us all.

so, I am attempting to do something about this! well, me and the team at Earthsharing Australia! I work with a not-for-profit called Earthsharing that offers free education services on economics and we focus on economic justice for all.

Currently we are working on an international film competition with the theme of ‘Gentrification’ which looks at issues of gentrification and how such cycles effect creative communities and artists in our cities. First Prize is $3000, with runner up prizes from Madman and Crumpler.

your blog is rad and we would be honored if you could throw a little love our way and mention the film competition to your readers!

Please contact me for more details including a press release or an e-flyer.

In the mean time, check out our website for more details!

The first line of this email made me erupt into fits of uncontrollable (and demented) laughter. Have I heard of gentrification? Feeling more than a little raffish, I wrote back:

You are asking  ME, a resident of Greenpoint, Brooklyn, USA (which is located pretty much halfway around the globe from you), to inform my readership about film competition about  GENTRIFICATION?!? Greenpoint: a neighborhood where a “luxury” condos proliferate in the shadow of the east coast’s largest WASTE TREATMENT PLANT? Where environmental issues the likes of which you cannot begin to comprehend remain unabated. And yet artists are being pushed out because there are people willing to dole out $2,000+ USD rent for a one bedroom/studio for this?

Give me the fuggin’ flier, your creds and press release— STAT.

Well, she did.

earthsharingNYS

I’ve done some poking around and this contest is 100% legit. Let’s show our friends down under how our fair city treats the creative community and everyone else who cannot a condo or $2,000 a month rent? You can get the 411 on how to enter this contest by checking out Earthsharing’s web site or by emailing them at: timmah (at) earthsharing (dot) org (dot) au

NOTE: they are currently requiring that entries be mails. I have suggested they accept submissions via YouTube as mailing matter overseas can be both costly and dicey. They are looking into it.

Otherwise, you can play the Gentrification Game by clicking here. Simply put you are a landlord/speculator and your goal is to kick out tenants. Play it. It’s a fucking HOOT!

Miss Heather

P.S.: Earthsharing also has a number of interesting videos on YouTube. Check ’em out. You’ll find the tales contained therein eerily familiar.

Labor Day Photos Du Jour: Chanties

September 7, 2009 ·
Filed under: Manhattan, New York City 

Last night I knocked around the Brooklyn Daily Eagle archives for a nice, leftist, Greenpoint, Labor Day item to share today. I came up empty-handed. Luckily the Mister and went to Chelsea today in the pursuit of a very non-proletarian item: a business suit. Afterward we took a stroll down 6th Avenue.

wehaveaproblem

Methinks it was Lenin who once said something to the effect that there were two types of people: the ones for the revolution and the ones against the wall.

gimme

Here they are.

chepanties

I’m not too sure if these panties (Chanties?) are for women or men. I suppose it really doesn’t matter.

lingerie

The revolution is dead. Long live the revolution!

Miss Heather

Behold The Power Of The Interwebs!

September 4, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11211, Asshole, New York City, Plagiarism, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

Not surprisingly my latest post about the New York Post has garnered a great deal of attention. Jeremiah’s Vanishing New York has given it a shout out. As has EV Grieve and Bowery Boogie. Before I continue I would like to take a moment to tender my sincerest gratitude to my friends in the East Village; their tribulations at the behest of the local print media have shown time and time again that this is not purely a “Brooklyn blogger” problem. The practice of claiming material from a blogger as one’s own is much more pervasive; if Maureen Dowd has been caught doing just this it begs the question as to how many of her brethren are also guilty— but simply have not been caught. Or called on it.

I mention the previous because over the last 24 hours I have noticed a number of incoming links that come from web sites whose subject matter is not “neighborhood bloggers” or “blogging”. Rather, their focus is on the institution of journalism itself. Among the previous— much to my amazement— is a journalism “think tank” at Harvard University.

Neimanscreencap

What’s more, they have contacted one of the reporters who lifted my story and the New York Post’s public relations firm: Rubenstein Associates. Not surprisingly they have yet to hear back from either of the previous. You can read the rest of the above tome by clicking here.

Miss Heather

UPDATE: Snapper Patter, Techdirt, Gawker, Media Metamorphosis, Superpunch, FAIR.org, Citoyen Michel (click here to read in English) and Gothamist have thrown in their respective two cents! Thanks!!!

UPDATE, 9/10/09: Boniknik, The Desert Lamp, Manga Verdes, Mary Turck, Blogografia have joined the fray.

New York Shitty Day Ender: East Village Slideshow

August 29, 2009 ·
Filed under: Manhattan, New York City 

wedidNYS

As I mentioned earlier yesterday the Mister and I sojourned around the East Village as part of our summer “vacation”. Follow are some photographic highlights from our trip. Enjoy!

Closing on a non-Greenpoint note, tomorrow we will be visiting one of my favorite places (other than the Garden Spot): the Bronx. You can anticipate some blue chip food porn from our journey. Stay tuned!

Miss Heather

Dog Walker Love, Part Deux Doo

August 14, 2009 ·
Filed under: New York City, Queens 

dogwalkerorangegenius

Remember the Russian girl who had a crush on her dog walker and made her love known via sidewalk chalk on the 59th Street Bridge earlier this year? Well, she’s back at it…

therussiangirlORANGEGENIUS

and it would appear things did not exactly go as planned. The spruced up typography and use of multiple colors is a nice touch. Will this end in matrimony or a restraining order? I suppose only time will tell.

Miss Heather

Photo Credits: Orange Genius

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