Woodside Photos du Jour: 61st Street

November 30, 2008 ·
Filed under: Queens 

These photographs hail from the 61st Street stop of the 7 train. While the Mister and I were waiting for the local (to take us to Jackson Heights) I became enamored of the lamp posts at this station. Since I had plenty of time on my hands I shot some snaps of them. Enjoy!

Miss Heather

Best. Subway Announcer. EVER.

November 29, 2008 ·
Filed under: Crosstown Local, Greenpoint Magic, Queens 

G train patrons are used to getting the shaft. Once we had not just the G but also the GG. The previous was an express line, the latter was local. As you can see nowadays it’s all local —and soon to be even even more so. A reader of mine wrote:

…did you see this thing about the g-train? What does halved G service mean? Half as many trains or half as many stops? I assume this means Greenpoint’s gentrification is essentially over?

Does this surprise me? Hardly. The MTA has harbored a hard-on to cut off service to Forest Hills for a very long time. Given the Solomon-like wisdom the our rapid transit system exercises I suspect they’ll cut G train riders in half and demand $1.25 a ride for ransom. The same goes for (J)M(Z) trainers. What happens in working class Brooklyn doesn’t matter. Keeping up appearances in Manhattan (for the turistas) is what’s important. Priorities folks, priorities.

The previsou having been said we Crosstown Locals have one thing to be can be proud of: finest subway announcer I have ever had the pleasure of listening to. The MTA can cut service and up subway fares all they want but if they fire this dude I’ll be PISSED. ROYALLY.

Hmm… haven’t I heard this voice before?

Open the pod bay doors, Hal!

Miss Heather

A Queens Cat

November 23, 2008 ·
Filed under: Crazy Cat Lady, Queens 

Those of you who had the pleasure of going out yesterday probably noticed that it was cold as fuck. Mr. Heather was smart enough to stay indoors. I, on the other hand, was not so lucky: I had to work. The previous having been said New York Shitty’s bipeds were not the only ones wise enough to know that a roof over one’s head was much preferable than toughing it out on the mean streets yesterday.

c wrote:

Last night …I came home from dinner and …as I opened the door in marched a cat. She’s parked in front of an upstairs radiator right now after having spent the night.  Let me know if you’re interested in taking this one off my hands.  She’s a pretty quiet one.  At least I think it’s a “she”.  Kind of small – probably only a few months old.

This Queens cat is no dummy. (S)he knows that being in a nice warm home is much better than toughing it out sub-freezing weather. Anyone interested making the acquaintance of this street savvy chat should contact c at:

cardiaccath1103 (at) aol (dot) com

Thanks!

Miss Heather

Brooklyn Photos du Jour: The Writing On The Wall

November 19, 2008 ·
Filed under: Clinton Hill, Dog Shit Signage, Greenpoint Magic, Navy Yard, Queens, Williamsburg 

This angry missive to one “Mayor Moo Moo” hails from Steuben Street and comes courtesy of “B.O.M.B.”: Brooklyn’s Other Museum of Brooklyn (whose web site appears to currently be parked). You can see more of their missives (and believe you me they have a lot to say) by checking out my photo set on flickr.

And while I’m at it, clean up after your damned dogs already! Sheesh.

Miss Heather

P.S.: On a related note some of you might find this web site interesting. Someone should erect a site like this counting the days until IDT Energy* figures out that everyone and their damned dog knows about the scam they’re running. Any takers?

*Those of you who have had the pleasure of interfacing with these people (as I have) please contact your duly elected officials and make them aware of this scam. For those of you who live in/around Greenpoint, Williamsburg and the Navy Yard (and beyond— for example, the 12th district includes much of the Lower East Side and a substantial chunk of Queens) the following information should be helpful:

U.S. Representative Nydia Velazquez, here’s a map of her district:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:New_York_District_12_109th_US_Congress.png

New York Representative Joseph Lentol, here’s a map of his district:

http://assembly.state.ny.us/mem/?ad=050&sh=map

Mark Your Calendars, Fellow Greenpointers!

November 19, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Queens 

Club Europa is having a wet t-shirt party this Saturday! You know, a little part of me* died when I found this flier but once I read “…hot girls is never enough” and noticed their offering of $2.00 “bum bum shots” (whatever those are) all I could do was laugh. Oh yeah, to my friends over in Queens: don’t feel left out.

The folks at Club Europa have been thoughtful enough to provide shuttle bus service from Ridgewood for the modest asking price of $1.00! Will the wonders ever cease?

Miss Heather

*that being my inner angry feminist

Cityscapes a la “The Professor”

November 9, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Queens, Williamsburg 

I have for eight years now known “The Professor” as both a nieghbor and D.J. for the Beauty Bar. What I didn’t realize until recently is he is an insanely talented photographer. Follows are a few of his snaps, see for yourself!

The new Kellogg Diner on Metropolitan Avenue.

Some Garden Spot “Sky shine”.

Our very own C-Town…

and some very lonely muffins in search of good homes at the Peter Pan Bakery!

Just another day at the Dupont Street playground.

But all of his photographs hail from North Brooklyn. This one was taken in Elmhurst, Queens. And given the history we witnessed last Tuesday I feel it is appropriate to close with this image from 14th Street in Manhattan.

You can see the previous and many more great street shots by the Professor by checking out his flickr page. Check’ em out!

Miss Heather

Urban Artifact du Jour: If You See Something, Say Something

November 3, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Queens, Urban Artifact 

Every year I do the same thing: forget to buy my husband an anniversary present. Thankfully providence intervened when we hopped on the B24 to go to dinner.

The chap to the right dropped something out of his pocket. Being a highly inquisitive person I craned my head over to get a closer look. I chuckled.

It was at that moment the tension in the back of the bus became palpable enough to cut with a kitchen knife; he was looking at it, I was looking at it, his friend (to the left) stared at it. Even Mr. Heather was transfixed. Someone had to do something to stop this stand-off. So, being the cold-hearted bitch I am, I stepped over, snatched it up, laughed at it, showed it to Mister Heather and jammed it into my pocket. Problem solved!

Perhaps this is some money-making ploy by the MTA to avoid raising fares?

The fake boobs on this gal are quite remarkable. I suspect John Goodman could use them for flotation devices. I wonder if she comes with an “EasyPay Fare Option“?*

Miss Heather

*And uses these condoms, for that matter.

Nydia Velazquez Rocks!

November 1, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Greenpoint Magic, Long Island City, Queens, Williamsburg 

This video (which I learned about via Queens Crap) does not pertain to Brooklyn per se, but it all too eloquently explains how eminent domain abuse and excessive (and contextually inappropriate) development harms working class neighborhoods and small business owners.

The building boom is over. How can this city’s officials honestly purport that ousting businesses at Willet’s Point and razing it to the ground (in the hopes that someone develops it) is progress? Really? What’s happening in my neighborhood and in Williamsburg* should be a sobering testament to the contrary.

Miss Heather

*Both of which are located in her district. See for yourself!

Prostitutes… In More Ways Than One

October 24, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Queens 

It’s get cold out. You want some companionship. Or maybe some breasts and thighs. No worries. As I learned on Manhattan Avenue earlier this week “Antonio” has you covered.

It doesn’t get much more obvious than this. I wonder how old this woman is? 18? 19?

It gets even better on the flip side.

For shits and giggles I Googled the above telephone number. Here’s what I found:

Charming, yes? It gets even better! The topic of this forum is “Any of the $40.00 Latina Delivery Good? What if I decline?”

Chocha lover” is a curious case. He’s too lazy to meet women so he brushes up on his Spanish via Babelfish, orders a girl and pops a “blue pill”. Hilarity ensues:

Last night around 1am I was feeling kinda horny (but too lazy to drive anywhere). So I went down the list of numbers from club goer (thanks BTW). Most of them didn’t pick up but I had a few that did. The first guy I got spoke only spanish. I tried talking to him in English but he got nervous (or frustrated) and hung up. So I decided to brush up on my Espanol which I haven’t practiced since High School so I used http://babelfish.yahoo.com/. (Despite my screenname I’m not Latino). I tried again with another number armed with a few phrases of broken spanish I learned moments before and english. “Quiero una chica. Cuanto cuesta? <I’d like a girl. How much?” 45 por 15 minutos “Ok Yo vivo en calle <street> y <street> <I live at such and such street>”. He told me 20 minutes. I said okay thinking he’d be here 20-40minutes. I popped a blue pill.. I was horny yet I wasnt really ready to rock out with my cock out. I waited.. and waited.. and waited. An hour goes by. I’m pissed off. I called the guy again telling him my address and asked what happened it was over an hour ago (in broken spanglish). Unfortunately I didn’t babelfish that and he quotes me the price for an hour. I say “No.. no I called 1 hour ago”. He sounded confused and hung up…

I suppose I should feel sorry for Chocha Lover —but I don’t. I feel more sorry for the women who are turning $40.00 tricks from 11:00 a.m. – 4:00 a.m. with sacks of pus like I found on this message board. It’s disgusting, as is the following (in reply to Kingaddictx reply above)… Irvington29 (who will be undoubtedly nominated for a Nobel Prize in Literature and Human Rights any day now) writes:

WOW

Your lying their use be 5 dollar spanish hos in Roosevelt Queens??? 40 dollars is real cheap. Cats say I fuck cheap hos man 40 dollars!!!!!!!!!!!!!

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I fucked a Roosevelt Chick but that happened by accident. I was helping this girl I was seeing that came out of prison to get a identification card and pablo got in the car.

Long story short I dropped my ex convict ex girlfriend off at her apartment. I drove back to see Pablo and asked about “chicas”. He did not speak english but he sure knew where PUSSY WAS. I gave him some money, I guess he gets free pussy because he directs customer to them. Anyway their was 2 girls , I took the thick Colombian one because she gave me that look like she into “black men”.

I had to “make it do what it do” like Ray Charles like to say. Man I beat up that pussy. She gave me her number but she ain’t speak english. She was straining to tell me something and I was like “What bitch no speak no espanol”.

I left got in my car with Pablo and he said in broken english smiling to me chica want you as boyfriend. I was like “QUE”, god damn I need to take more spanish classes.

Here’s a gem bemoaning the effect inflation has had on the call girl industry. I thought hand jobs were recession proof! For shame.

I like to call this one “It’s the economy, stupid!”:

…you guys are stupid…50 bucks is not a months salary back home, even in DR, one of the poorest Latin Countries, they can make 30-50 dollars per session, maybe have 3 a day, so thats 150 bucks a day times 30….4500 a month….so yea, 4500 a month, not 50-100

people just like to assume the US is great and all other countries are poor as hell, but theyre not as bad as youd think…go learn something ppl before assuming everyones in a factory making 30 cents per session

So let me get this straight: I can perform “3 sessions” as you call them in the Dominican Republic and walk away with $150.00 or I can give 3 blow jobs in Queens at $40.00 a pop and make $120. WOW, you just made doing temp work look good!

And what would I be without giving props to bangbroads. He is a real connoisseur :

True but facilities and presentation is a deal breaker for me. Im not really tring to pony up 40 pesos for some basemnt room with no windows and a filthy mattress on the floor w/out sheets. Not for me! Id rather pay more to get something sanitary and comfortable. As far as the performance YMMV. With the higher priced girls there are usually reviews to weed the bad ones out. Anything under 50 your wasting your time in my opinion. If you can get off by some mechanical sex with a robot like zombie then its for you. Id rather get a BJ from a SW, save my pennies and go to a decent service for double the price. Higher priced to me is anything above 200. I try to stay in that 80-160 range. Good service more than half the time and doesnt break the bank.

What I noticed is most of the activity on this board seems to come from Queens. Jackson Heights, in particular. Maybe Peter Vallone Junior* (being as he is the chairman of the Public Safety Committee on our City Council and hails from said borough) should investigate this matter? Hey Pete**, why not lay off Alphabeta and pitbulls and address what appears to be genuine problem in your backyard: prostitution and/or human trafficking?

Or at the very least keep your smut on your side of Newtown Creek: we have standards, you know.

Miss Heather

P.S.: No one, regardless of race or immigration status deserves to be treated like these women do. NO ONE.

*Not to be confused with Peter Vallone Senior.

**Thanks for telling voters they should have no say so whatsoever regarding a third term for Mayor Bloomberg. Oh yeah, and a double dose of shame goes out to you, DAVID YASSKY. Follows is a breakdown of the vote courtesy of Phil DePaolo:

Councilmember

NY1 TALLY

COUNCIL VOTE

*Joseph Addabbo

No

No

Maria del Carmen Arroyo

Undecided

Yes

*Tony Avella

No

No

*Maria Baez

Yes

Yes

*Charles Barron

No

No

*Gail Brewer

Undecided

No

Anthony Como

No

No

*Leroy Comrie

Yes

Yes

*Bill de Blasio

No

No

Inez Dickens

Yes

Yes

*Erik Martin Dilan

Yes

Yes

Mathieu Eugene

No

No

*Simcha Felder

Yes

Yes

*Lewis Fidler

Yes

Yes

*Helen Foster

Undecided

Yes

Daniel Garodnick

No

No

*James Gennaro

No

No

Vincent Gentile

No

No

*Alan Gerson

Undecided

Yes

*Eric Gioia

No

No

Sara Gonzalez

Yes

Yes

Vincent Ignizio

No

No

*Robert Jackson

Yes

Yes

Letitia James

No

No

*Melinda Katz

Yes

Yes

*G. Oliver Koppell

Yes

Yes

Jessica Lappin

No

No

*John Liu

No

No

Melissa Mark-Viverito

No

No

*Miguel Martinez

Yes

Yes

*Michael McMahon

No

No

Darlene Mealy

No

Yes

Rosie Mendez

No

No

*Hiram Monserrate

No

No

*Michael Nelson

Yes

Yes

*James Oddo

No

No

Annabel Palma

No

No

*Christine Quinn

Yes

Yes

*Domenic Recchia

Yes

Yes

*Diana Reyna

Yes

Yes

*Joel Rivera

Yes

Yes

*James Sanders

Undecided

Yes

*Larry Seabrook

Yes

Yes

*Helen Sears

Yes

Yes

*Kendall Stewart

Yes

Yes

James Vacca

Undecided

Yes

*Al Vann

Yes

Yes

*Peter Vallone, Jr

Yes

Yes

*David Weprin

No

No

Tom White

Undecided

Yes

*David Yassky

Undecided

Yes

The Eiffel Tower Of Brooklyn: The Queens Connection

October 13, 2008 ·
Filed under: Queens 

d made a very astute observation regarding this post:

I thought I recognized the parachute drop from Coney Island – it was in Queens for the World’s Fair and moved to Coney in the 40s. I absolutely love that thing, and on a recent jaunt to Coney (I go there pretty frequently), this old Brooklyn character sat down (with a beer in a paperbag, natch) at the table where my friend and I were sitting on the boardwalk and told us loads of stories, including that the parachute drop is called the “Eiffel Tower of Brooklyn.”

It’s true: Brooklyn’s “Eiffel Tower” is in fact sloppy seconds from Queens!

Per Wikipedia:

The ride was built in and towered over the fair’s “Amusement Zone”. The Life Savers company sponsored the ride, investing $15,000 and decorating the new tower with brightly lit candy-shaped rings. Eleven parachutes were used, leaving the tower with one empty arm. Adult riders paid 40 cents, children a quarter. The trip up took about a minute and the drop down was over in 10 or 20 seconds. The official 1939 Fair guidebook describes the ride:

Eleven gaily-colored parachutes operated from the top of a 250-foot tower, enable visitors to experience all the thrills of “bailing out” without the hazard or discomfort. Each parachute has a double seat suspended from it. When two passengers have taken their places beneath the ‘chute, a cable pulls it to the summit of the tower. An automatic release starts the drop, and the passengers float gently to the ground. Vertical guide wires prevent swaying, a metal ring keeps the ‘chute open at all times, and shock-absorbers eliminate the impact of the landing. One of the most spectacular features of the Amusement Area, this is also a type of parachute jump similar to that which the armies of the world use in early stages of training for actual parachute jumping.

At one point entangled cables left a Mr. and Mrs. Cornelius Rathborne aloft for five hours; the next day they returned to ride again, probably at the behest of publicists for the ride or the fair. Another couple, Arno Rudolphi and Ann Hayward, were married on the ride in a celebrated “parachute wedding”. The entire wedding party was suspended aloft until the newlyweds completed their vows and descended.*

Tilyou paid $150,000 for this parachute drop and it opened in 1941. At face value this would appear to be bad timing. It wasn’t: per this article from June 23, 1943 edition of the New York Times.

You can read the rest by clicking here. Otherwise here are a few pictures from Coney Island the month the previous article was written.

Father and son at Coney Island. Note the parachute drop at the far left!

From what I can tell about the lot of negatives of I have this chap was in the Navy During World War II. He looks glum about his future in this photo (and rightfully so). Coney Island’s future nowadays looks equally dismal.

Miss Heather

*Too bad it is inoperative now. Sounds like the perfect place for Levi Johnston’s shotgun wedding.

Photo Credit: Parachute Jump Postcards, www.history.amusement-parks.com

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