How Not To Have First Date In Greenpoint

1. You take your date out to dinner.

2. Over dinner you ask her how old she is.*

3. She refuses to tell you.

4. After dinner you take your date to the waterfront on Java Street. The view of the Manhattan skyline to be had there has inspired many a Greenpoint romance. That is, unless…

5. the police show up, tell you that you’re trespassing and demand identification.

6. You tender identification: a driver’s license from Alabama. Cop is non-plussed and interrogates you as to where you live.

7. Your date has no identification whatsoever, so she is given a thorough dressing down (e.g.; I could arrest you…) and is forced to state how old she is: 34.

8. You laugh.

9. Cop gets angry and asks “What are you laughing at?” You reply “Over dinner she refused to tell me how old she was.” Cop is not amused.

10. You are let go, but your evening is shot to shit.

This happened to a friend of mine Tuesday night. He’s a real sweetheart and the purpose of this post is not to bust his chops. (Well, maybe a little, but lovingly.) Rather I want to make you, dear readers, aware that the 94th Precinct (for wont of anything better to do) seems to be very keen on harassing people for “trespassing” on the waterfront. So be careful:

1. Always, ALWAYS have identification on you. Preferably something that verifies you are a New York City resident. As my experience (with, in all probability, the SAME police officer) last December has shown, the N.Y.P.D. loves to grill you about where you live. Is this legal? I don’t know. But by proving that you MIGHT actually have some reason for walking around your own neighborhood gives them one less thing to hassle you about.
2. If you feel like you have been unfairly treated by a police officer ask for their badge number. They are required by law to give it to you. Period.
3. Take said badge number and file a complaint with Civilian Complaint Review Board…
4. and/or go to the monthly community meetings hosted by your local precinct. The 94th Precinct community meetings are held at 7:30 p.m. the third Monday of the month at 807 Manhattan Avenue (AKA the Greenpoint Savings Bank). Be sure to use the entrance on Calyer Street.

Bad dates are— for better or worse— a fact of life. Improper police conduct shouldn’t be. Their job as civil servants is to “protect and serve” the public. This includes you.

Miss Heather

*Big, BIG no-no.

Reader Comment of The Week

Lucky Pierre writes (in regards to this and this post):

Howdy Miss Heather — Love your blog, even though I live on the opposite coast. This image, and your recent film about the newly illuminated sewage plant prompted me to write and tell you that there is a petition circulating here in SF to rename our sewage treatment facility after GW Bush. I think it’s rather fitting.

It look like our friends on the left coast have beat us to the punch. But nonetheless this brings up a very good and overlooked point: our sewage treatment plant does not have a name. Thoughts, anyone?

Miss Heather

UPDATE: Karl Rove has been suggested.

A Sign Of The Times

You know The Garden Spot of the Universe is getting tony when our “heads” are high rises. I wonder if Bobby Scarano is responsible for this?

Miss Heather

TOMORROW: ALPHABETA Grand Opening

What does this flier…

and this cutie pie (named Bianca) have in common?

Both belong to ALPHABETA, a new shop selling “old school” hip apparel and professional graffiti supplies slated to open tomorrow, Friday the 13th! I’ll probably swing by and give the store a look-see, if for no other reason to check out their selection of shirts. I really loved the one they had in the window.

ALPHABETA
70 Greenpoint Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222

Festivities start at 8:00 p.m. and include music and live art. Be advised that there is $5.00 admission fee.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photo du Jour: FREE

From Franklin Street.

Miss Heather

Stood Up By Studio B

Last night Community Board 1 conducted their monthly meeting at the “Swing 60’s Community Center”. Among the (numerous) items to be discussed (READ: open to public soap boxing) was Studio B’s application for a cabaret license. Sadly, this did not come to pass. I was told their application had been withdrawn from the hearing.

Maybe this is why? It would appear that Studio B was visited by the Department of Buildings last week. Click on the above image and read for yourself. But I realize many of you are too busy (trust me, I understand) so here is the rundown:

1. On April 16, 2008 Studio B was served a Stop Work Order for “interior sheet rock part wall erected to create bar at second floor w/out permit.”
2. Instead of complying with said Stop Work Order they ripped the notice off the door and continued working, hence this glorious citation less than a week later.
3. Studio B keeps on working, publicizing their rooftop garden and opens it on schedule, with predictable results.
4. And now this, the piece de resistance, dating from June 4, 2008:

Re: SWO ISSUED FOR WORK WITHOUT PERMIT AT 2ND FL.REPORTS ARESAYING WORK HAS BEEN COMPLETE AND IS BEING ILLEGALLY OCCUPIED AS ACABARET C/O STATES 2ND FL TO BE UNOCCUPIED, PLEASE INVESTIGATE

The “Emergency Response Team” was called in. Here are their findings, copied and pasted from the Department of Buildings web site:

06/05/2008	A1	VIOLATION SERVED	1760 MILLS	06/04/2008
		ECB VIOLATION ISSUED FOR APPROVED PA PLANS NOT AVAILABLE FOR INSPECTION
06/05/2008	G4	COMPLAINT REFERRED TO DEPARTMENT OF CONSUMER AFFAIRS	1760 MILLS	06/04/2008
		REFER TO CONSUMER AFFAIRS IS REFERRED TO CONSUMER AFFAIR

Passing the buck. On the upshot, maybe the D.C.A. will do what the Department of Buildings has been unable or unwilling to do: enforce the law.

Miss Heather