New York Shitty Day Ender: The Good Neighbor Policy

September 11, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

This week I was pleasantly surprised to find an email from the owner of 131 Huron Street (AKA: neighbor to the Viridian’s backend) in my inbox. He writes:

Thought you could feature the other side[huron st] of 110 green street project [viridian] on your blog. check it out it looks like people park [bums empty bottles and guitars]

hope your well
Larry

I have, in fact, done just this. However, today I did a walk by. I didn’t find any homeless people but the garbage was plentiful, the workers were kind enough to hoot and holler at me (thanks guys) and I found this…

NOPARKING

and this.

NORESPECT

You have some nerve to park here all dia long. You deserve a double summons. You are lucky the police isn’t doing there job. PRIVATE DRIVEWAY. Next time we’ll make sure you get one. (NO RESPECT FOR PRIVATE PROPERTY)

The rebuttal can be found on the back:

not even a house

Where is William F. Buckley when you need him? More importantly: why can’t ball point pens come with a grammar and spellcheck function?!?

driveway

Granted, painting lines of demarcation on the street is illegal. Then again so is blocking someone’s driveway. A garage is clearly visible in the background, therefore it can be deduced this is an active driveway. This is not rocket science. It is yet another example of how little regard— if not outright contempt— the folks at the Viridian have for their neighbors. It’s been that way pretty much from day one so I guess it would be unreasonable to expect better conduct on their part now.

Miss Heather

Viridian Death Watch: Another One Bites The Dust

September 8, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11222, Abjectecture, Asshole, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

sidewalk

Remember a couple of weeks ago when Jay Lombard of Dog Habitat brought the above little fella (and two of his equally deceased feathered friends) to our attention? He had ascertained that the glass windows of Greenpoint’s favorite nondo, the Viridian, was to blame for their demise; the reflection cast from them was fooling these cedar waxwings— which should be noted are currently migrating south— to fly into them. Well, it is with heavy heart that I inform you 110 Green Street has claimed another victim.

RIP

And this time— instead of picking his (or her) fragile little body up— Magic’s funky bunch simply swept him along with all the other “trash” (gracing the western end of their property) onto their neighbor’s lot.

108green

You’re a real class act, Viridian.

Miss Heather

Viridian Advertising Campaign Goes For New, “Low Key” Look

September 2, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11222 

Inasmuch an I try (and I really do try) to avoid making ridiculing this property a cottage industry, the fact is they make it too damned easy to resist sometimes. Take the following for example:

signs

Has the recession at long last impacted the Viridian’s advertising budget or has someone in our fair community decided to air his (or her) disgust with his glass-encased and very unfinished new neighbor?

signatfranklin

It would appear the answer is “both”.

Miss Heather

From The New York Shitty Inbox: A Dispatch From The Viridian

August 28, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

It’s been a while since I have paid attention to my good friend 110 Green Street. My buddy Larry da Junkman recently struck up a conversation with the doorman. Apparently they’re asking a much more reasonable $1,800 for a one bedroom at this, Greenpoint’s most famous, nondo. While still outrageously over-priced at least it is a step in the right direction.

But the Viridian is much more than a poorly planned and executed six story testament to the folly of the north Brooklyn real estate boom (and bust). I learned this when I checked my email last night; it can now list “bird killer” to its list of dubious achievements as well.

sidewalk

deadbird

deadbird2

deadbird3

Jay Lombard of Unleashed Brooklyn/Dog Habitat writes:

Ugh. I was walking by the Viridian around noon today and saw something that made me stop dead in my tracks  three dead birds – all were the same species with beautiful yellow feathers. It took me a few seconds to figure out what happened… It appeared that all three died from broken necks from a sudden impact. When I looked up it became clear what happened to these three. I wonder how many more birds will meet the same fate…

viridian

This is directly above the bird carcasses (which were removed with 30 minutes of my discovery). My guess is that the birds were fooled by the reflection in the glass. I’m sure this happens all over the city… And probably very little that can be done to avoid this type of collision.

Indeed.

Miss Heather

P.S.: Apparently these are Cedar  Waxwings. (See comments). Here’s what Wikipedia has to say about them.

UPDATE, 2:55 p.m.: Crickey, it would appear someone is moving in!

Uhaul


New York Shitty Day Ender: “Luxury”

July 21, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

forrent

From Franklin Street to Green and from Green to Manhattan (Avenue) the chaps at 110 Green Street (AKA: The Viridian) are shilling their luxury apartments. With predictable results.

luxiryrentalshere

Apathy/amusement.

craphole

Yes, this is the “luxury” $2,150+ a month for a one bedroom will buy you!

110back1

Just look at this craftsmanship!

hovelonhuron

As you can see, someone is even camping out so as to get in on the “ground floor” on this great “opportunity”!

crap

WOW.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Recession Watch: The Viridian

June 22, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Recession 

viridian

This weekend, much to our amazement, the Mister and I saw signs of actual activity at the Viridian. Well, perhaps “activity” is a bit of an overstatement: we saw a 5’4″ gentleman wearing an undershirt and a pair of jeans hanging out in the lobby.

Maybe that’s the concierge?

The Mister quipped. I have to confess on occasion even he can roll out a good one liner. But I digress.

As I was walking by this afternoon I spied a man on the premises doing something. Exactly what I do not know: he did not appear to have any tools. Yes sir, things must be getting pretty lean down at 110 Green Street nowadays. Hell, they cannot even afford “No Parking” signs. So they improvise!

NOPARK

CALLNYPD

NOPARK2

(Priceless)

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Starter: I Want My Money

May 30, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Lest I have not made this clear I am rather fond of the proprietor of Brooklyn11211. He is a very intelligent person. He has an eye for architectural goodness and possesses a brand of acerbic wit I adore. But we occasionally disagree— make that more often than not nowadays— regarding the 2005 rezone. And rezone 2.0. The 2005 rezone in north Greenpoint is a total and utter failure. Derelict properties, vacant lots and “nondos” pepper my landscape.

Needless to say I found it interesting when my colleague, Brooklyn11211, recently conversed with Jake Mooney of the New York Times and relayed a far more optimistic view of Greenpoint than I possess. What would I know? I only live here and have the pleasure of living on the same block with one of gentrification’s most notorious failures: The Viridian. Sure, I was never fond of the bus depots running 24/7/365 which preceded this faux Modernist turd. But after that “public nuisance” was razed and Magic’s folly commenced Ms. Jacob’s eyes ceased to exist. And my block got seedy.

Now that Magic Johnson (and his funky bunch have declared bankruptcy) and his heap of shit (110 Green Street, AKA the Viridian) is derelict my block has become much more lively. CASE IN POINT:

This delightful footage I shot at 1:00 this morning.

My colleague in Williamsburg and Jake Mooney can talk up Greenpoint all they want. The previous is my reality. And I suspect over the summer it is only going to get worse.

Toodles!

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Ender: Rock, Paper & Wha?!?

May 15, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Street Art 

stupid

From Green Street.

Miss Heather

Happy Mother’s Day From The Viridian!

May 10, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

I do not qualify as a mother per se but as the keeper of five cats and husband I felt entitled to take the day easy. In fact, I did nothing whatsoever— and you know what? It felt good! My neighbors, conversely, were anything but layabouts. Wishing to make the most of today’s most opportune break from the recent onslaught of stormy weather they rolled out the barbecue grill, popped open a few brewskis and played a rousing round (or nine) of “toss the pylon”.

viridian51009

Courtesy of Greenpoint’s good friend, Magic Johnson.

viridian510092

The rules of the game seem simple enough: you toss pylons.

pylonsonthestreet

pylonsinstreet2

In the street.

pylonsonsidewalk

On your neighbor’s sidewalk.

window

And even at your neighbor’s window! Given Mr. Johnson’s interest in physical fitness I have little doubt he’ll be pleased as punch to know the neighborhood youths also joined in the fun.

youthswithpylon

What better gift could a child possibly give his mother on her special day than a memento of one of the most misguided developments in north Brooklyn? Arguably the only more fitting memorial I can think of would be a tee shirt:

Magic Johnson built a luxury condo and all I got was this lousy pylon.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: What Is Wrong With This Picture?

May 6, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

During his stay at Chez Shitty my father got to witness firsthand the hilarity that is life in Greenpoint. Upon arriving he beheld the barricaded glory that is 110 Green Street and, appropriately enough, shortly before he departed we got a few chuckles courtesy of the following.

greenst1

What is wrong with this picture? If you guessed the giant nondo to the left you are only half correct. If you look a little more closely you’ll notice…

greenst2

this traffic sign. Note the direction the of the cars parked on this block. Now note the orientation of this sign. Now factor in that Green is a one way street and you get the idea.

greenst3

For those of you who are not in the know there is a stop sign located on this block within eyeshot of the above-depicted sign.

greenst4

Unfortunately it is located in the opposite direction. Whoops. It just goes to show there is no job, however small, this city cannot manage to bungle. Given that our municipal guardians had a 50/50 chance of getting it right this is no small feat. Way to go guys.

Miss Heather

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