From The New York Shitty Inbox: Closed

January 7, 2013 ·
Filed under: 11211, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

charleston1nys

 

charleston2nys

 

For those of you who are wondering about the recent closure of the Charleston by the Department of Consumer affairs, a rather extensive explanation has been tendered. It would appear their sidewalk cafe cum “heated patio” sports some not-up-to-spec railing. Who knew?

Photo Credits/Props: All images come courtesy the camera of Citizen Christine.

New York Shitty Day Starter: 373 Graham Avenue, Revisited

June 14, 2012 ·
Filed under: 11211, Crazy People, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

As is often the case the story behind a photograph is often as compelling— if not more so— than the image itself. This was certainly the case yesterday after I took this one. “Joe”, as he is known both in the neighborhood and online— saw fit to come out the front door and shout at me. He wanted me to stop taking photos of his establishment.

Given this very same fellow wanted to make my acquaintance not too long ago while playing “air guitar” with a mop to Van Halen (“Dance the Night Away”, I would have preferred “Unchained”) I was a mite bit surprised— but unshaken.

I informed “Joe” that I was perfectly within my rights to take photos of his establishment. Believe it or not, this reasonable (and legally nuanced) response seemed to make an impression on him. This is the only reason I can muster as to why it took him a few seconds to shout another inquiry at me:

What are you going to do with these photos?

Post them online

I replied and walked off. I was once told by a very wise man named Tim* that all a man (or woman) has is his (or her) word. And that I have just kept.

A few closing thoughts:

  1. The assorted detritus on the sidewalk (including a chair with a half-smoked cigar on it) falls under the jurisdiction of the Department of Consumer Affairs and possibly the Department of Transportation (as it involves obstructing our city’s sidewalks).
  2. The material obstructing the entrance to the apartments upstairs is blocking the primary means of egress. This is a violation of fire code provided (what I have heard is true) that someone is residing in any/all of the apartments upstairs. Which brings me to…
  3. This building, per the Department of Buildings Building Information System, does not have a Certificate of Occupancy, thus (theoretically**) no one should be residing here in the first place.

Nuance your 311 complaints accordingly, folks.

*There are many wise men named Tim.

**Note that I wrote “theoretically”.

Quicklink: “Brunch War” Bogus?

If this piece by Brownstoner is to be believed this would appear to be the case. Tom Burrows, the so-called malefactor in this “war” notes:

…there is no war on brunch in Williamsburg and Greenpoint—this is way of selling papers

Indeed it is. It also is worth mentioning the manager of Five Leaves (whose establishment can be seen in the above two photographs) saw fit not to comment for this tome. No worries, she had plenty to say to the Greenpoint Gazette about a proposed pedestrian plaza which would abut her establishment:

Five Leaves’ Kathy Mecham pointed to the number of public inebriates in McCarren Park particularly on the Lorimer side. “To take what has become a blossoming small business area and create additional unregulated seating would only escalate the problem…

I can draw no other conclusion than it is perfectly acceptable for Five Leave’s patrons to congregate on and obstruct our sidewalks (public space) but if public space were actually allotted to and used by the public (which of course includes our “public inebriates”*), well, that’s another matter altogether. I think I get it now: some members of the public are more entitled to use (and capitalize off of) public space than others— at least when a profit-motive is at play. “Bums” are bad for business.

Photo Credits: The latter two images are of Nights & Weekends which is located across the street from Five Leaves (at 1 Bedford Avenue). As you can see they are operating a sidewalk cafe. Do they have a permit to do this? No. Have they been made aware that this is illegal? Absolutely. Oh yeah, did I mention this establishment is owned by the same people who own Five Leaves? It is. Fascinating, yes? In any case (and in closing), here’s some footage of this establishment from one such night on a weekend.

I’d hazard to guess they won’t be winning the “Good Neighbor” award anytime soon…

*Most of whom, it should be noted, are Polish and have substance abuse and/or mental health issues. The homeless problem at McCarren Park was extant long before Five Leaves hit the scene. I wonder why they are (supposedly) an issue now?

Live From The Public Safety Committee Meeting

Truth be told it was a rather mellow evening last night at the Warsaw— at least in comparison to the smash-jaw Parks & Waterfront Committee convocation earlier this week. Nonetheless there was much information of interest (including question and answer sessions with representatives from the Fire Department, 94th Precinct and the Department of Consumer Affairs respectively) — and a “moment” (or two) worth savoring. Enjoy!

INTRODUCTION: Chairman Olechowski gives a statement about liquor licenses & the “Moratorium”

Public Safety Chair Mieszko Kalita speaks and the festivities begin!

Deputy Inspector Hurson of the 94th Precinct Answers Questions Tendered by the Board

A representative of the New York City Fire Department Answers Questions Tendered by the Board

Note/observation: Board member Burrows* plays a nice Ed McMahon to Joe Garber’s Johnny Carson. Or something. This is really worth watching folks!

A Representative of the Department of Consumer Affairs Speaks

D.I. Hurson talks about MARCH (and he ain’t talking about the month!)

And of course there is the matter of the Polish Slavic Center Cafeteria’s Liquor License (Spoiler: it was approved)

Lesson learned: Community Board 1 has no judicial power, no police force or F.B.I.

  • You will notice a red ribbon being passed along the table. This was my comrade Sherry’s Unofficial Community Board 1 Ladies Auxiliary badge (we were all sporting them— mine was pink!). Methinks it was a big hit!

It was at this point the meeting shifted to liquor license applications. There were many. My compatriots and I each got a drink.

What the 10:00 p.m. rolled around we decided we could do one of two things:

  • Get inebriated at a Public Safety Committee meeting (which would add a whole new provocative dimension to the proceedings).
    or
  • Go home.

We chose the latter.

Miss Heather

*Who, it should be noted later took yours truly to task for not providing him and his colleagues snacks and refreshments. Here’s how I couched my rebuttal (to my buddy Christine):

I am not Community Board 1’s caterer. I am only its fluffer.

P.S.: Special props/credit goes out to ievil_spock_47i for observing the uncanny resemblance between the photo yours truly took and Leonardo Da Vinci’s The Last Supper. Awesome catch!

Spotted On Franklin Street: Closed

December 19, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

It would appear that Mrs. Kim’s will be closed until December 30 due to a violation of her/their sidewalk cafe permit. Whoops.

Mrs. Kim’s
CLOSED until December 30, 2010
160 Franklin Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222

Miss Heather

From The New York Shitty Inbox, Part II: Closed For Renovations?

October 27, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

The above item (which hails from the Village Voice and is a follow-up to their breaking story about the closure of Coco68 last Friday) was brought to my attention by my buddy over at Brooklyn11211. He writes:

I see they’re still closed down – but they have a perfectly logical explanation. It was just less confusing for all involved to reschedule their shows at other venues.

You can read this article in its entirety by clicking here. Otherwise I’ll leave you with yours truly’s favorite passage— with a little New York Shitty analysis thrown in for good measure!

Apologies for the confusion yesterday. Briefly: after you and I spoke we had a meeting at Coco’s and we all decided that since some shows were already moving to other venues this week, just because they were worried (rightfully so given your establishment saw fit to cram 400 people into a space allotted for 74, this can hardly be construed as “professional”), we would take this time now to take a couple days off and make some renovations to just kinda move forward and become a better venue with more space for people. So we are taking a couple days to do that. We were doing construction all night last night (I can personally attest to this. I can also attest that neither Coco66 nor Coco 68 have permits for any of the work they are doing.) , and all day today (more work without a permit, is the Department of Buildings reading this?), just in the back to have more space and do bigger and better shows (which we are not in fact legally entitled to conduct given we have neither a Cabaret License nor a Place of Assembly Permit*).

Miss Heather

*As someone in the know explained to me:

They absolutely don’t have a cab license. Must have zoning use group 12 on the CO and the description must read “eating and drinking establishment with no restrictions on entertainment.”  Not even a PA. Hence the 74 max occupancy.

This is rather curious given the owner of Coco66 and Coco68 seems to be operating a construction company out of the latter.

One would think Mr. Kelleran would be aware legalities such as these. Hmm…

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