Greenpoint Photo du Jour: No Parking

November 10, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

Since today’s offerings (for some inexplicable reason) seem to mostly revolve around minding one’s p’s and q’s I submit the following (which hails from Diamond Street) for your approval.


The sign gracing this two-wheeled totem indicates there is to be no parking on this side of the street Monday and Thursday mornings (for street cleaning). Today is Tuesday. It would appear that New York’s Strongest used a little ingenuity and some good ol’ elbow grease to work around this wayward bike.

Miss Heather

From The New York Shitty Inbox: Sexual Assault At Diamond Street & Nassau Avenue

October 22, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11222, Criminal Activity, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

suspectI have received a number of emails about this incident and in the public interest I want to pass it along. STAT. Casey writes:

Hi Miss Heather,

I live over on Diamond and Nassau, where apparently a woman was raped the other day.,0,1753626.story

I’ve never felt unsafe in my neighborhood, but after this and the recent muggings on Driggs in the same area, I just wanted to get the word out for my neighbors to stay safe and alert.

Thanks for all you do with newyorkshitty, and congrats on being named best neighborhood blog!

Thanks for bringing this to my attention, Casey. I want to tender my sincerest wishes to the victim of this assault and her loved ones. I suppose it goes without saying that if anyone reading this knows anything about this crime (which came to pass Tuesday, October 20, at 4:30 a.m. and whose suspect’s composite sketch graces this post) please contact Crimestoppers via telephone, text message or online at: 1-800-577-TIPS (8477), CRIMES (274637) (then enter TIP577) or All tips/calls will remain confidential.

Be careful out there, folks and ladies please be advised that if you are out at these wee hours and need a safe ride home do not hesitate to contact Rightrides. They serve Williamsburg and Greenpoint and it’s absolutely FREE.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Slide Show du Jour: Creepy Cavalcade!

October 18, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 


As All Hallow’s Eve draws closer Greenpoint keeps getting more and more ghoulish (like this goose I found on Noble Street). Follows are some highlights from my sojourn around the neighborhood today. Enjoy!

648 Humboldt Street didn’t disappoint. However, I am concerned about the absence of the demonic clowns. They’re my favorite (after the Humboldt Hurler). But we have thirteen days to go…

Miss Heather

From The New York Shitty Inbox: Muggings & A Toy Drive

October 2, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 


Rose writes:

Hi Heather,

I’m a frequent reader of your blog and a fan!

I was just going to email you about a toy drive at Matchless this Sunday, but then I heard about a bunch of people getting mugged in the neighborhood lately, so here is 1 email with info on 2 things – opposites!

1. A group of local parents have organized a toy/baby item drive this Sunday at Matchless from 11-3. Many local parents found themselves with gently used items or doubles of things and wanted to donate them to two organizations that will put them to good use! People can donate clean stuffed animals, gently used clothing up to size 4T, childrens books, strollers, high chairs, boosters, kids cds, playmats, etc… The toys collected will be donated to these 2 places:

We ask that people consult the following web sites as there are some things that aren’t accepted.

October 4, 2009 11:00 a.m. – 3:00 p.m.
Bar Matchless
557 Manhattan Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222

Then Rose goes on to write:

2. 6 people have been mugged in the area around St.Stans/Newell/Diamond Street. Apparently there are 2 guys in a car and one of them has been jumping out and grabbing purses and wallets quite violently. I don’t know if weapons are being used. If you feel so inclined to ask the precinct they might be able to give you more info. They are on the lookout for 2 vehicles – a black durango and a purple/burgundy van. These muggings have mostly taken place around 10/11am! They are checking surveillance videos from St. Stans and they may have one of them on video using a credit card. Please tell people to watch out and help their neighbors if they see someone getting mugged! My upstairs neighbor was one of the victims and there was a man near her on the street and he didn’t do a damn thing.

Thanks Heather! I’ve lived in the 11222 for almost 10 years, and I hate seeing our crime rate go up. Your blog is a VERY good resource and I appreciate the fact that you care!

Thank you, Rose, for bringing these muggings to my attention. Be mindful of your surroundings fellow Greenpointers.

Miss Heather

Today’s Moment of Zen: Demo’ed On Diamond

September 16, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11222, Bloomblight, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

Stoop to nowhere.


Putting the “bloom” back in Bloomblight.

Miss Heather

North Brooklyn Lost & Found

Manhattan Avenue, 11222


Driggs Avenue, 11211


North 7 Street


The two previous photographs represent only a fraction of fliers I found in Williamsburg today regarding the disappearance of little Lou-Lou. Although I do not want to come off as blaming the victim the sad reality is dog theft (for reward money/resale) is a serious problem in north Brooklyn: always keep a watchful on eye on your canine companions. And please, please, please, collar and microchip your pets. It’s the responsible thing to do.

This having been written, if you know anything about Diamond Street’s found ferret or Lou-Lou please contact the folks at the above-listed phone numbers.


Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Starter: The United Colors Of Greenpoint

August 11, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Vinyl Siding 


Every so often I like to create assignments for myself. This, my latest one, came the way they usually do: via a flight of fancy. One day I wondered to myself if Greenpoint, the Garden Spot of the Universe— and patron par excellence to the aluminum siding industry— sported a rainbow assortment of siding products. What you have just seen, dear readers, is the result of one month’s worth of research. There is only one conclusion that can be drawn from the copious amount photographic evidence/data I have collected: yes!

Miss Heather

Happy Easter From New York Shitty!

April 12, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 


Mister Heather took this great photograph of a not-so-rascally rabbit getting a little play time in McCarren Park recently. Follows is a slide show I compiled of some shots I took in the greater 11222 area to celebrate this Easter Sunday. Enjoy!

Get off the computer already and enjoy the sunshine!

Miss Heather

Williamspoint Photos Du Jour: Pre-Valentine’s Day Revue, Part II

February 10, 2009 ·
Filed under: Crosstown Local, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

I enjoyed putting together yesterday’s selection of pre-Valentine’s Day goodness so much I have decided to hit you up with some more snaps of love north Brooklyn style.


From Noble Street.


I can safety state that this is the only upbeat missive I have found on a Real Housewives of New York City subway poster.


Almost seven years later Carlito is still missed on South 3rd Street.



Love’s a poppin’ all over the place on Hope Street! Feeling lonely this upcoming weekend? Don’t despair, make your way over to Maria’s Deli.


The word on Diamond Street is they serve a lot more than just sandwiches.

Miss Heather

Chewing Karl Fischer’s Chocolate (Once Again)

February 10, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

I planned upon completing New York Shitty’s blogahhreafest yesterday by writing a very nice (and well deserved) puff piece about a new pizzeria in the ‘hood. Then the following challenge darkened my Twitter doorstep.


Intrigued to see what this was all about I pointed and clicked my way over to WGPA’s web site:

Every year, the Brooklyn Chamber of Commerce sponsors a Building Brooklyn Award for the best architecture of the borough. And every year, Bushwick, Greenpoint and Williamsburg come up short. Since the nominations are due on Thursday, we’d thought we’d throw out a few of the projects that we think are award worthy (and a few that are clearly not worthy).

First, their rules. To be eligible, a project must be completed and have received a CO or TCO in calendar 2008. Now our rules. We’re looking at projects in North Brooklyn only. The BB categories are a little bit wacky (do we really need two categories for residential buildings under 5 families – that’s so 20th-century Brooklyn?). So we’ve added a few of our own.

As of the writing of this post, they haven’t. However, Scarano’s “Canvas Condominiums” made it onto their list. Albeit for different reasons than its very own tenants would recommend.


Not nominated:
118 Greenpoint Avenue
Scarano Architect

This one was designed to the highest preservation standards – those of the NYC Landmarks Commission – but the results are underwhelming to say the least. None of it rises to the level of the unregulated Mill Building. This project would have passed unnoticed, though, were it not for the cornice, which looks like someone installed a crown molding on the face of a factory.

Um, you forgot the fact it is located next to a poultry slaughter house whose stench has been rather fowl (pun intended) of late. One would presume the WGPA would understand the primary rule of New York City real estate: location, location, location. Apparently they do not. Nonetheless, if you’re into treading upon offal-soaked sidewalks on the way to the G train in the morning (or really like chickens), this is the place is for you. Be sure to inquire about the eastern-most units: they have windows overlooking this facility!

But back to my nomination. Who else would I recommend than my good friend Karl Fischer and the Newtown Creek-esque creation train wreck he erected at 130 Diamond Street?


The presence of a discarded stove in the foyer is a nice touch.


Savor for a moment— if you will— the painstaking crafts CRAPmanship lavished upon this stairway.


See that door to the left? That’s the entrance for the “mobility impaired” (READ: wheelchair users). Makes a damned nice place to chuck your garbage doesn’t it?


The highly skilled and no doubt well recompensed laborers* who built this magnificent testament to Greenpoint gentrification didn’t see fit to remove the shrink wrap from this panel. And so it has remained there for a year now.


Note how seamlessly Karl’s Krap fits in with its neighbors.


But the erection of this satellite dish (whose cable is draped on the front of the building) is a promising start! One would presume such luxurious digs would be wired for broadband, but then again this is only Greenpoint. We’re living La Vida Fischer, baby:

That’s what makes parts of Brooklyn so special. You have all of these rowhouses, townhouses, smaller-scale developments, more neighborhood-friendly developments. You have more open space. The quality of life in this way is going to be preserved in Brooklyn.

– Karl Fischer

Um, okay.

Miss Heather

P.S.: Next year the WGPA can look forward to me nominating this gem. Provided it actually gets completed. Even if it isn’t I’ll nominate it anyway.

*This is sarcasm.

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