From The New York Shitty Inbox: Snow Woes On Vandervoort Avenue

January 3, 2011 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

(Or: The DOT Builds a Snow Fort!)

Tara on Beadel Street (who forwarded me the above photograph) writes:

Hi Miss Heather

I have been reading your blog for years and enjoy it. I live on beadel street and vandervoort ave. I don’t know if you have seen the huge pile of snow the city started dumping last Thursday on vandervoort which has caused a ton of honking and horrible traffic.  It’s now Monday and the ave is still shut down. The city has been loading garbage trucks filled with snow and dumping them in front of key span on vandervoort – the actual street itself for more than 5 days now. Why would the city do this?  Seems very unproductive.  Thought  you could solve this riddle.

Aside from basic municipal incompetence I honestly do not know what to say. But then again, it was on Vandervoort where I once saw this:

The above photograph was taken March 10, 2010. A month or so later the DOT saw fit to stick a street cone in it. I can assure you this was truly a vision.

My advice:

Update, 5:35 p.m.: unlike a lot of the Snowmageddon posts I have erected over the last week, I have some very good news to report! After receiving Tara’s email— but before I wrote this post— I advised her to contact a number of people. This list included Community Board 1’s Transportation Committee Chair, Karen Nieves. Tara writes:

I got in touch with Karen and she has been a great help today. We had called 311 on Thursday night as well… She came and took pictures of the snow pile.* I wish I had taken pictures on Thursday when it was a complete nightmare.

You rock, Karen!

Miss Heather

*Here are a couple!

What were these people thinking?

Greenpoint Photo Du Jour: Transmitter Park

July 23, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

While hardly the most comely of open spaces (although has attained some popularity with a certain segment of the population, as seen above) I have it on very good intelligence WNYC Transmitter “Playground” could be shuttered as early as next Tuesday, August 27. Why, you ask? Because they will need time to make preparations for the ground-breaking ceremony that will come to pass August 3, 2010 at 11:30 a.m. Who knew wood chips needed so much fussing over?

WNYC Transmitter Park Groundbreaking Ceremony
August 3, 2010 at 11:30 a.m.
Greenpoint Avenue and (roughly) West Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222

In closing it has been brought to my attention that a fig tree graces this site. For those of you who are not in the know (I didn’t) apparently fruit-bearing trees are not allowed on city park land. If you are interested in giving this tree a forever home please shoot me an email at: missheather (at) thatgreenpointblog (dot) com. I will forward it to the appropriate parties. Thanks!

Miss Heather

Southside Street Art Du Jour: Imminent Disaster

June 30, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11211, Street Art, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

From Kent Avenue (across the street from the soon-to-be- converted Domino Sugar Factory, whose residential conversion will undoubtedly work wonders for north Brooklyn’s already over-burdened subway system).

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Ender: Lorimer Street

June 12, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11211, Asshole, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

If I were a kid and looking at what’s going on with all the college graduates this year, and how tough it is to get a job, I think I might want to get an education because I don’t want to spend the rest of my life not being able to make a living.

— Bloomberg on why kids should pay full fare

I agree (with tongue firmly in cheek). What’s more, maybe they’ll learn to spell your name correctly when they tell you to fuck off Mike.

Miss Heather

Quote props: a big New York Shitty shout out of gratitude goes to Kevin Walsh of Forgotten New York for forwarding this corker of a quote to my attention. For those of you seeking more crapola commentary from our fair mayor look no further. Read this. Which comes courtesy of Pa Heather. Pa Heather opines:

It is pathetic when something like this happens and all the flaming assholes come out of the wood work.

Indeed.

Williamsburg Street Art Du Jour: Fear & Loathing On Bedford Avenue

Taken May 8, 2010.

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Ender: Guess Who?

November 10, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11211, Bloomblight, Street Art, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

guesswho

Winning by 5 percentage points does not a mandate make, Mike. If my memory serves me correctly, you lost the borough of Kings— which is where the above sullen missive (and numerous others) can be found. Appropriately enough, it is on a rotting fence gracing a derelict construction site slated to be a high rise: Bloomblight.

May your four years as a lame duck (and a highly unpopular one at that) be interesting ones. I hope it was worth it. I look forward to documenting them. Your purported “achievements” are a gold crown in a mouthful of decaying teeth. I should know; I live in one of the abscesses.

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Starter: Rage Against The Machine

Today’s the big day kids.

We, the people, get to choose between a jackass and an elephant plutocrat for mayor.

reyna

The 34th City Council district has an incumbent running against a puppet of her former mentor: the inimitable Vito Lopez.

Behold, the Davilamobile! As witnessed by yours truly yesterday on the Southside.

As the 33rd, well, we have this guy:

levin

Steve Levin. Another Lopez puppet.

Here’s a letter the Mister and I received from Mr. Levin last weekend.

levinletterNYS

When I searched the Gotham Gazette’s voter guide yesterday to learn what alternatives I had to Levin I got this:

gothamgazette

NO SHIT.

But if this is to be believed there will be someone running against Levin. Those of you who wish to vote in protest to Vito’s influence over/strong-arming our community might want to vote for Ms. Tretter.

Yes, this election will be tantamount to getting a colo-rectal exam: it sucks like hell, but you know you should do it.

You can do it

You can do it, New York Shitty!

Miss Heather

P.S.: The lack of effective opposition against Levin (and my own ego and hubris) in this 33rd City Council race makes me feel behooved to run against him (and Vito) next time around.

My preliminary platform/platitudes are as follows:

  • I have lived in Greenpoint/33rd District longer than Levin.
  • You could choose worse.
  • I give a shit.

Unlike career/machine politicians I will not promise anything I cannot deliver.

Last Gasp: Remember to Vote Tomorrow!

Did you know Mike Bloomberg is running for mayor? If the numerous fliers and callers/hipster hitters of buzzers didn’t remind you of this fact maybe my answering machine (and inbox) will!

Just 24 more hours, dear readers, and it will be over.

Miss Heather

From The New York Shitty Inbox: Special Halloween Edition

October 31, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11222, Crazy People, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

trickortreatersToday was a very busy day.

First it was awakening to the sound of our cat Frances rather noisy preamble before vomiting upon a pile of books. I managed to move her before she discharged a solitary, runny and repulsive fur bullet. In so doing  we (this was a team effort) managed to knock over a glass of water and ruin some photographs I had laying around. This is not the way I like to start my day. But sometimes that’s the way the kitty cookie crumbles.

After hammering away on the” blog” I rushed to McCarren Park to judge this year’s contestants for the 3rd Annual District Dog Halloween Parade and Costume Contest. I will not lie to you (and I suspect my fellow judges will agree with me when I write this): it was tremendously stressful. So many great costumes, but only so many prizes.

Upon discharging my doggie duty I met up with north Brooklyn’s very own beat reporter extraordinaire, Aaron Short, for a quick interview. Once I saw him off safely on the bus I proceeded to the junk shop so I could fulfill my (un)official role as candy giver. The Mister couldn’t understand my sense of urgency. The fact of the matter is I take the responsibilities which come with such a sinecure (doling out teeth-rotting treats) very, VERY seriously. I serve only the best to 11222’s youth: Snickers, Kit Kats, Milky Ways and Butterfingers. What’s more, it’s fun.

officerI thoroughly enjoy interacting with the children of this neighborhood. They’re great kids. The adults, on the other hand, can be problematic. CASE IN POINT: a drunk (at 3:30 p.m., I will add) fifty-something woman (sipping a can of beer in a paper bag FROM A STRAW) demanding I give her candy. I refused. She, in turn, grabbed my arm (A BIG NO NO) and implored me once again to give her candy. I, once again, refused. She then took it upon herself to take the matter up with my co-worker (who I presume she took for “management”). To no avail.

For the next five minutes this woman (if you can call such a creature that) ranted and raved on the sidewalk for the passerby’s edification. At one point she found two young boys dressed up as police officers. She begged these petit officers to arrest me. Later I was told by one woman in the audience she mentioned something about getting a gun. I replied:

She can get a gun. She’s still not getting any candy.

And she didn’t. Intuiting that she was not going to receive anything in the way of confectionary from yours truly she left for greener pastures. I later saw her toting home six cases of beer. So it goes.

Needless to say when I got home I was sorely in need of some peace and quiet. Nothing doing. The following comment was awaiting my moderating touch. Atlas9 writes (in regards to this post):

I don’t understand the problem, sure bloomberg is going for a third term; but he did it by the books. Why freak out about it? He isn’t being dictatorial, and he sure hasn’t made himself chancellor of NYC, so where is the fundemental problem? The guy wants to stay in office… So that all depends on the election. And the election is democratic, so he is essentially following the democratic process. Also, I canvass for bloomberg in the downtown Brooklyn area, and I can tell you I am no hipster. Just as you were so taken aback from the real estate agents, the same applies here. Don’t be so quick to judge. I am here to engage you and others in the area on the democratic process. If that isn’t something you like then maybe you should consider living in a less important area outside of NYC. But If I were you I would appreciate the fact that bloomberg is playing fair and by the books, and that’s something you have to respect. So please, let’s all relax and try to enjoy a small slice of democracy in our increasingly un democratic world. (emphasis mine — Ed. Note)

P.S. Don’t be rude to me when I come knocking. I don’t mind if you don’t like bloomberg and I am more than willing to listen to what you have to say.

Here’s the deal folks: I have neither the energy nor the inclination to deal with Atlas9’s polemic about the democratic process as it pertains to Bloomberg at this moment. I suspect many of you, dear readers and fellow citizens, might. If so, please tender your thoughts in the comments (or via email— you can do so via my “tips” page”). All I ask of you, fellow citizens, is to to keep them as civil as possible.

Miss Heather

Wiiliamsburg Election Watch: No Confidence

October 29, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11211, Culture War, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

I suspect I speak for many when I say I harbor no, zero, ZILCH enthusiasm regarding the upcoming election. Even though we, the voters, ostensibly have a “choice” the selection of candidates for the 2009 Mayoral Race strikes me as being tantamount to selecting between syphilis and gonorrhea. Either way you’re still sick.

Which brings me to a “write-in” candidate I discovered at the Lorimer Street entrance of the L train earlier today:

anarchy

NOBODY.

Miss Heather

  • NYS Flickr Pool

    Pigeon outside funeral homeSuited for the RainThe Waiting RainI Love MH (Monster Hunter)Play Sand34th Street & Herald Square StationEvans and Little StreetsVinegar Hill - January 2019
  • Ads