From The New York Shitty Inbox: The Watchers

A person we’ll call “Y” writes on July 6, 2012:

Hey Heather!  In response to the 4th of July sentinels, a/k/a the NYPD helicopters, I was chilling on our rooftop last night and lo and behold a VERY low flying NYPD sentinel was spied by mine eyes.  This fella was extremely low.  We are on a 4th floor walk up and he was parallel to the height of our building.  There was also a lot of activity on the streets in the form of four-wheeled sentinels heading to the shit tits.  But, the air-born sentinel was circling the area west of McGuinness, but eventually he was hovering over the shit tits.  It seemed quite odd as the copter was so low I could have probably thrown one of our poorly formed tomatoes at it.  Here is a shot.  Sorry for it being rotated.  The vantage point does not do the picture justice as the helicopter was literally 40 feet above the highest rooftop which is a mere 5 stories high.

I myself heard this myself. It was pretty jarring, to say the least. In regards to the increased police presence on July 4th, I have heard, but have yet to receive confirmation, that a police officer was shot. If/when I hear something from the 94th I will add it here. Otherwise (and closing with an interesting fact), the Shit Tits (as they are lovingly called hereabouts) are considered by the powers-that-be to be a viable terrorist target. While it is not my intent to revel in/encourage the apocalyptic, one has to admit Greenpoint being hit with a tsunami of shit is, well, interesting to say the least.

From The New York Shitty Inbox: From The 94th Precinct

June 21, 2012 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

D.I. Hurson writes:

Need your help again we found this dog yesterday on Manhattan avenue. Could you post this picture on your blog.

Gladly! If anyone reading this post knows to whom this lovely and well -behaved lass belongs please contact the 94th Precinct at: (718) 383 – 3879. Thanks!

P.S.: I have taken the liberty of creating a print quality  8.5″ x 11″ flyer (which can be seen above) for those of you who may be interested in posting/distributing them. You can download this by clicking here.

Spotted On North 14 Street: Drones

This reminds me of one of the items I failed to capture at this week’s Community Council meeting. It was asked by a fellow present if the topmost piece of signage was NYPD issue. He was assured by Deputy Inspector Hurson that it most assuredly was not. Mr. Hurson went on the to add that the 94th Precinct does not have drones. So there!

New York Shitty Day Ender: Live From The 94th Precinct Community Council Meeting

(Or: All Thumbs* version).


So last month I relapsed. Or as I explained to the ladies of the 94th Precinct Community Council (the only authority to whom yours truly answers) tonight: Ma Heather was in town last month. They understood. Mom prevails.

In any case I captured tonight’s proceedings in their entirety (including a reading of the minutes from last month’s meeting which I missed). Those of you who want to learn how to register your bikes with the 94th; how to report noisy/disorderly bars and learn about the current crime trends hereabouts (NOTE: bicycle theft and burglaries are the big ones) read/ listen on!

94th Community Council Meeting Part I: Introduction, A Recitation of Last Month’s Minutes

Most interesting point to yours truly: a resident of 66 Clay Street, a “three quarter house”, was caught dealing drugs (cut to 1:37 for this gem). Otherwise…

  • National Night Out will come to pass August 7th, 2012. You can get the deets via the above-posted flier or the Greenpoint Gazette.
  • The next meeting of the 94th Precinct Community Council will come to pass September 5th.
  • The joint 90th/94th Precinct Harmony Picnic will come to pass July 19th, 2012 at Cooper Park.

Part II: Officers of the Month

  • Officers Osbourne and Small broke a tire rim theft ring via a 911 call from 1 Richardson Street.
  • We have five new police officers with 7 more to come.
  • Burglaries are still a problem.
  • Catalytic converters from Honda CR-Vs are being stolen because they contain platinum and sold for scrap metal.
  • Bike thefts have doubled, but two arrests were made this month. (And yours truly gets props!)
  • Traffic issues:
  1. Nassau Avenue (due to the recent reconstruction) then D. I. Hurson hands it over to his crime prevention officer…
  2. Regarding Kent Avenue: there are no crosswalks for pedestrians thus the 94th met with Transportation Alternatives and lights have been installed at North 5th, North 6th and North 7th Street. No crosswalks have been installed; but complaints are being received about bicyclists not minding stop lights which have installed. NOTE: while vehicular traffic to Kent Avenue is confined to being one way; bicyclists are entitled to travel north and south on this thoroughfare. Lights have been put in place for bicyclists and the 94th plans on enforcing them.
  3. This upcoming Friday, June 8th the 94th will be co-hosting an event with Transportation Alternatives which will bring to light what I call “clipping”: bicyclists being hit/seriously injred by an opening car door.
  4. A question about bicycle accidents is raised: to date we’re at 30 (versus 18)
  5. A complaint about parking on Leonard Street (as a result of the Nassau Avenue Reconstruction).
  6. D. I. Hurson mentions the bicycle registration service will be available at the next 94th Community Council Meeting:
  • September 5th, 2012 at the Church of the Ascension (122 Java Street) at 7:00 p.m.
  • Bicycle registration will also be available at the joint 94th Precinct.Transportation Alternatives event on June 8th starting 6:30 p.m.

Part III: There’s a Huge Speedbump On Manhattan Avenue at Engert Street; etc.

  • There’s a huge speedbump at Manhattan Avenue and Engert Street.
  • You asked, so I asked: how do I register bikes with the 94th Precinct? Not only will you be able to do so starting at the next Community Council meeting (September 5th) but you can make an appoint by contacting:
    PO Jerry Seletski
    94th Precinct Crime Prevention Officer
    100 Meserole Ave
    Brooklyn, NY 11222
    (718)383-9746 (Tel)
    Once again: this service is totally free!
  • To recap:
  1. August 7th is National Night Out.
  2. July 19th is the Harmony Picnic
  3. The first “concert of the year” is June 15th/16th which will come to pass at the softball courts at McCarren Park and
  4. the OSA concert series follows shortly thereafter
  5. the feast of Mount Carmel kicks off July 5, 2012
  6. Williamsburg Walks.**

Part IV: Tom Burrows, instigator of the so-called  “War On Brunch” speaks, Q & A Session Continues

  • A local mosque is posing a parking issue for residents on Fridays.
  • The 94th is not sending officers to Coney Island so as to control the peeps at the pool.
  • The Parks Department has no “PEP” officers in Community Board 1. Thus any/all police matters are at the discretion of our police department and Open Space Alliance North Brooklyn.

Part V: Lincoln Restler Speaks!

And that’s all she wrote!

*What I failed to capture with my Flipcam is as follows:

  • “No Name Bar” at 597 Manhattan Avenue is not making any friends with the neighbors. People “screaming” in the backyard at all hours was noted. I found this rather interesting given it is my understanding that this is where the Greenpoint Gazette’s office is (ostensibly) located.
  • Nights & Weekends, which is owned by the same fellows as 5 Leaves, was cited by the 94th for a noise violation two weeks ago.

**Which seems to have reneged on their promise to inform residents on Bedford Avenue a week ahead of time that they need to make arrangements for the disruption in vehicular traffic due to their event(s).

From The New York Shitty Inbox: Wanted For Questioning Regarding A Burglary at 540 Driggs Avenue

June 3, 2012 ·
Filed under: 11211, Criminal Activity, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

Once again, from the NYPD via an anonymous tipster:

The New York City Police Department is seeking the public’s assistance identifying the following individual wanted for a burglary which took place on May 30, 2012 at approx 1300 hours inside of 540 Driggs Avenue in the confines of the 94 Pct. The suspect entered a fire escape window and fled when the victim observed the suspect in the kitchen.

The suspect is described as M/H approx 35 years old  5’7 and 180 lbs

Photo attached

If you saw something, say something to the 94th: (718) 383 – 3879.

From The New York Shitty Inbox, Part I: Grand Larceny?

This items comes courtesy of the 94th Precinct via an anonymous tipster:

The New York City Police Department is seeking the public’s assistance in locating the following two suspects wanted for a grand larceny that took place within the confines of the 94th Precinct. The details are as follows:

On Tuesday, May 15, 2012, at approximately 1750 hours, inside of 783 Manhattan Avenue (Rite Aid), two suspects proceeded to go to the cold and flu isle, place an undetermined amount of Mucinex cold medicine into a large red gift bag (emphasis mine— Ed. Note) and exit the location without paying for the merchandise.

The two (2) suspects are described as; Male black, 5’8′ 170 pounds, approximately 18 years old with short black hair.

Photos attached

Anyone with information is asked to call Crime Stoppers at (800) 577-TIPS (8477). The public can also submit their tips by logging onto Crimestoppers’ website and at or by texting their tips to CRIMES (274637), then enter TIP577.

All calls are strictly confidential.

New York Shitty Videos Du Jour: Live From The B62

To preface: Today yours truly decided a walk across the Williamsburg Bridge (this is one of my favorite leisure time activities) was in order. Since I was running late I decided to take the B62 bus to the Southside in order to make up for lost time. It didn’t exactly work out that way. In my guesstimation my travel time (from Greenpoint Avenue) was one hour. How did this happen, you ask? Read on and find out!

Let me explain to you, dear readers, what you have just watched. Our intrepid bus driver, frustrated that a motorist elected to parallel park in front of his vehicle in a manner which precluded him from performing his duty (READ: driving)— and upon discovering honking his horn was useless— prevailed upon a police officer for help. First, I’ll tender the good news: our finest prevailed! And now the bad news…

Clearly displeased with the outcome of this exchange our motorist (being insane, an asshole or some combination thereof) decided running to the next bus stop and resuming (t)his altercation was in order. If you listen very carefully at the end he says (and I quote):

You want to kill me? You want to kill me? Let’s do it!

The next time you, gentle readers, get angry at a member of our Transit Authority for being gruff or downright rude I want to think about what you have just watched. I for one commend this bus driver’s restraint. I for one cannot fathom what it would be like to deal with this shit every day.

I suspect I speak for a number of my fellow mass transit patrons this afternoon when I write I had the utmost desire to take this fellow up on his offer. In closing, I would like to humbly suggest— moving forward— that if/when this chap wants a fight he should stick his head up his ass and fight for air. The rest of us have lives.

P.S.: If anyone from the M.T.A. is reading this give this bus driver a raise. Yesterday. He is an absolute prince— and I told him so!

New York Shitty Video du Jour: (Priceless)

May 18, 2012 ·
Filed under: BAD ASS, Brooklyn, New York City 

Even though Gothamist (thanks for the “hat tip”!) has featured this I am going to do so here. Why? Because the more people who see the Lord of the Sith (who has acquired QUITE a Brooklyn accent) lose an argument over a parking ticket with one of our Finest the better!

Props: Special thanks goes to Walking and Typing for unearthing this amazing find!

LAST GASP: Lost & Found

Deputy Inspector Hurson of the 94th Precinct writes this evening at 10:08 p.m.:

Thanks for posting the picture of the bike however no luck yet finding the owner. FYI my cops found Roger the dog last night he was happily reunited with his owner today.

Spread the word!

Live From The 94th Precinct Community Council Meeting

All in all the proceedings at last night’s convocation were pretty subdued. However there were a few points of interest, among them:

  1. A bevy of guest speakers, including a trio of wonderfully charming participants of the NYPD’s Explorers program speak.
  2. A pair of gentleman who were burglarizing our local watering holes in the wee hours of the morning have been apprehended!
  3. Phyllis, a stalwart attendee of these proceedings, tenders her two cents (and then some) regarding what I presume to be a meter maid.

Without further ado, here we go!

Part I: Roll Call & a Review of Minutes From the Previous Meeting

Part II: Minutes are accepted, the new date for Community Council meetings is announced; a representative from the NYPD’s Community Affairs Office speaks

Part III: A Presentation by the Explorer’s Program

  • You can view the brochure for this program by clicking here.

Part IV: A citizen lauds these youths for cleaning Jerzy Popieluzko Square (this is pretty awesome)

Part V: A representative from the Youth Court speaks & D.I. Hurson gives a rundown of recent crime trends

  • Crime was up for the month of February. Mr. Hurson attributes this to unseasonably warm weather.
  • Burglaries are still a problem. He states that two men responsible for a string of burglaries at bars in his precinct have been identified/apprehended. Simply put, these two men were breaking into bars after hours. One was caught at Bellwether on Union Avenue.
  • Street robberies (for electronics) is still a concern. Recently a rash of these came to pass on Roebling Street between North 8 and North 4 Street. The perpetrators are between the ages of 14 and 18 years of age and one young woman has been arrested.
  • Car break-ins are still a concern as well.

Part VI: The Q & A Session Continues

  • Phyllis tenders some remarks regarding one Officer Brown and truck drivers. Among other things she asserts Ms. Brown is overweight. D.I. Hurson begs to differ.
  • Concerns about the Production Lounge are raised (again).

Part VII: Q & A Session, Continued

  • Concerns about registered sex offenders (and posting flyers of them) are raised.
  • D.I. Hurson notes that many hail from 300 Skillman Avenue (a homeless shelter located on the premises of the Greenpoint Hospital) and 66-68 Clay Street (a three quarter house)

And that’s all she wrote!

  • NYS Flickr Pool

    55th Street Subway StationManhattan in Autumn (View from Cafe)Cultivate FreedomWest 91st Street between Columbus and AmsterdamCalvary CemeteryGinkgo AlleeColours in the RainCyclist
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