New York Shitty Day Ender: Theatre In A Van

Taken September 10, 2010.

Miss Heather

From The New York Shitty Photo Pool, Part II: Saturday At The Park

diarrhea in the park "Lady" 2

Miss Mousey Brown (who took the above photograph this morning) writes:

Saturday 11:00 am. I took a 5 minute break from gardening to go use the port-a-potty between the handball courts. As I was walking back over I see this woman checking to see if she could get in the garden. I had locked it, for which I am thankful. I thought she might be the person that throws rotten rye bread in the garden (which the birds NEVER eat , btw) She was actually looking for a spot to dump an explosive diarrhea. She found one. When she saw me with my camera she hightailed it down Lorimer, with some sort of wardrobe malfunction going on.

diarrhea in the park 2

NICE.

Miss Heather

From The New York Shitty Inbox: Shit & Awe

August 2, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11211, 11222, Bum Shit, Dung of the Day, Other Shit 

L writes:

Hello Miss Heather,

I was taking a stroll on the sidewalk along McCarren Park (east side of bedford) when I looked up and saw something I’d never thought I’d see: an older man, bent down, ass facing me, covered in *crap* It was a full view of asshole and bits. Normally, I take shots of everything but I was too horrified/stunned/ grossed out to do anything but cross the street and watch to make sure he wasn’t doing anything to harm anyone.

This was at 3:30 on Sunday, by the fence.. not too far from the bathrooms. He did not seem homeless, but who knows. He proceeded to pull up his trousers and seemed to head over to the bathroom.  Was I the only one to see this? I generally see homeless/drunk people in this north area of the park. Does no one patrol? Stephanie Thayer? Anyone?

Definitely makes me think twice about where I sit, if I will at all, in McCarren or any park with grass now.
It’s disgusting but I wanted to pass this along to the unofficial Mayor of Greenpoint and all things shitty. Definitely a danger to people who use the park in these summer months.

Horrifying.

I honestly don’t know what to say— other than someone has created a Flickr photo set documenting this kind of thing at our beloved McCarren Park. You can check it out by clicking here. Enjoy!

Miss Heather

Dung Of The Day: In Yer Face!

I rarely feature what this site was initially premised upon: that being shit of all stripes. Perhaps this is because I have become choosy? Or find other subject matter more provocative? I’d hazard to say both.

However, when I found the above specimen (which is located a short distance from the Union Avenue entrance to the G and L train) I knew I had to pass it along here. Why, you ask? Well, there are many reasons.

But mostly because of the New York City Transit Authority gloves that are found next to this public poo. NICE.

Miss Heather

Spotted In McCarren Park: Call-A-Head

As I mentioned in this post we, the people of north Brooklyn, have been promised by the peeps of OSA (Open Space Alliance North Brooklyn) a handful of port-o-johns to help augment the rather inadequate— and in some cases downright disgusting— facilities which currently grace our public parks. While not what I consider to be an ideal solution (they should be repairing and upgrading existing facilities; and breaking ground for new ones) today I had a glimmer (or would that be a whiff) of hope. At the corner of North 12 and Berry Street to be precise.

Not one, not two, but three port-o-potties! But wait— there’s a catch.

All save one are locked! Perhaps to be dispatched to elsewhere? I can only hope so. In any case I decided to check out the one that was open to the public.

If it is any consolation, dear readers, this smelled worse than it looks.

Methinks another inspection is in order. But why cry over spilled vomit?

Shortly thereafter I discovered that Bushwick Inlet Park has received its promised privy! Two down, two to go…

Miss Heather

Image Credits: The photograph gracing the beginning of this post hails from Sergeant Dougherty Playground and was taken by yours truly.

Greenpoint Audio/Visual Presentation Du Jour: The American Playground

Given that we are embarking upon a holiday weekend (celebrating our nation’s birthday, no less) I feel it is only fitting to showcase Greenpoint’s very own American Playground. Rutila wrote regarding the above image (which I posted June 20th):

There was a homeless man sleeping in the jungle gym this morning when jumping rope in one of the handball courts. He was coughing, and I wasn’t sure if he was sick or clearing his throat to let me know I was interrupting his sleep. Should I have apologized?

Oh, and one of the trees/bushes that flank the storage shed/bathroom was pulled — roots and all — from its planter and dragged to the middle of the basketball courts. I don’t see how this would be possible without a vehicle.

I have been keeping a careful watch over this park ever since.

It isn’t pretty.

But what I was most puzzled by was the womens bathroom’s “new arrangement”.

I have no idea why the Parks Department, in their infinite wisdom, would do something like this. And here’s why:

1. This bathroom is located at a playground. Children will invariably get dirty and need to wash their hands. Most of the children I have observed at this park are tended to by their mothers. Thus, they will need to use the womens bathroom. And if someone is using it they are shit out of luck.

2. This kind of open space (with added privacy) is an enabler for all manner and variety of criminal activity. Foremost in my mind is drugs, as heroin addicts seem to have taken a shine to this park.

And then of course, there is this.

A detergent bottle (Tide, methinks, this brings a whole new meaning to Tidy Bowl) being retrofitted for some hitherto unknown purpose.

Here’s a close-up of its contents. And on July 1st, dear readers, I finally got the wherewithal to flush said toilet and film it.

It appears to be collecting water from the faulty plumbing. Incoming or outgoing I do not know. What’s more, it’s not important. This is yet another (and exemplary) half-assed solution to the manifold problems our parks “comfort stations” face. On that note I have word via a tipster/leaked email that port-o-lets are one the way. Four to be precise:

  • One for Bushwick Inlet Park
  • One for Barge Park
  • Two for McCarren Park

In regards to the lattermost, here’s what one board member of Open Space Alliance North Brooklyn— not the Parks Department— had to say:

They’re portable so, if you or other parks users have strong feelings about their placement, they can probably be moved. Personally, I think it’s a good idea for the condo-dwellers on Bayard to fundraise for the park.

This statement is in regards to a Bayard Street resident calling 311 and complaining about public urination; getting a letter from Adrian Benepe advising him/her to talk to our Parks Administrator, Stephanie Thayer, only to be asked by Ms. Thayer if he/she would be interested in fundraising for more garbage cans and bathrooms in McCarren Park (via Open Space Alliance, which is Ms. Thayer’s other employer). Fundraising for amenities one would presume (hope) would have already been paid for via our tax dollars. But I suppose I am being old fashioned.

To recap: a 311 complaint seems to have been employed as a recruitment tool for a not-for-profit org which, theoretically, has nothing to do whatsoever with a public urination complaint. But I suppose that’s what happens when you have a public/private partnership which is out of touch with the very people it purportedly serves. Here’s my advice for anyone who has issues with our public parks:

  • Call 311. Repeatedly.
  • Document and send your complaints to our local Community Board.
  • Don’t bother with our local Parks people, copy the head honcho: Adrian (dot) Benepe (at) parks (dot) nyc (dot) gov
  • It criminal activity is involved, go the the 94th Precinct Community Council meetings and make D. I. Fulton aware of it.

Miss Heather

P.S.: If our Port-O-Potty point person at OSA is listening (because it’s become all too apparent this organization holds the purse strings, not our Parks Department), you might want to toss one WNYC Transmitter Park/”Playground’s” direction.

It’s very popular.

Albeit not by not children.

When I saw this gent walk away from a secluded part of this “playground” a few days later I decided to investigate.

Yup.

New York Shitty Day Ender: The (Field) House On Poo Corner

This, dear readers, is what the McCarren Park Ladies restroom looked like today. Why is there such a long line, (at least 18 people are clearly visible) you ask? I honestly do not know. But if I was to hazard a guess I’d say one of the toilets and perhaps the sink are not functional. As last Memorial Day weekend will attest, this is not an uncommon occurrence. It does however, beg the question as to where my intrepid Greenburgers can do his (or her) business. Well, I am pleased to report that I have (albeit accidentally) stumbled upon the answer! It’s a little place I like to call “Poo Corner”.

And some of you might be amused to know it is located directly behind the field house where our purported “Parks Administrator’s” (whose job is to be on top of this sort of thing) office is located!

Miss Heather

P.S.: Lest you ladies are wondering, the mens bathroom isn’t much better.

Photo Credits: The photo gracing the beginning of this post was taken by Crystal Kitty.

Presenting Skidmark Row

As the delay in today’s postage probably indicates today I decided to table the blog a bit and go for a walk. I made a number of amazing discoveries (such as learning the mattress at North 4 and Berry Street has inhabitants). You will be delighted to know, dear readers, I plan to share each and every one of them with you. This post is dedicated to North 4 Street— or more specifically why it smells so damned bad. This mystery didn’t take me long to unravel. In fact, you could go so far to say all I had to do was follow my nose!

It would appear that the derelict property on the south side of the street has been pressed into service as a public lavatory.

If the amount of effluvia I found is any indication, it appears to be very popular.

I’m not too sure which end this came out of— but I bet whoever discharged this puddle of joy feels a lot better!

Welcome to Skidmark Row in the heart of the “new” Williamsburg!

Miss Heather

A McCarren Park PSA: Clean!

Upon seeing the above woman hosing out the womens’ “comfort station” I simply had to pay it a visit. Sure enough, the interior was wet (as she, the helpful parks employee she was, politely warned me) but everything was more or less spic and span. Inasmuch as can be expected, anyway. For those of you who have been keeping count, the cleansing (exorcism?) of the McCarren Park bathrooms took no less than five days. As for the state of the mens’ lavatory, well, I will have to leave that to you guys to find out… but it looks encouraging!

Regrettably I learned a few minutes later on Lorimer Street this most auspicious turn of events came a little too late for one north Brooklynite.

Uh-oh.

That’s rough!

What came first the cup or the crap?

Noticing a woman was headed my direction walking a dog I felt compelled to warn her. It has been my observation that canines are rather fond of such things. She thanked me and went on to opine:

Disgusting.

I couldn’t have said it better myself. Oh wait: I did. In closing (and for those of you who are wondering) what you have just seen is not anomaly: it’s what McCarren Park looks like after any given spring/summer weekend.

Miss Heather

P.S.: You can see more pictures from my morning sojourn to McCarren Park by clicking here.

CAVEAT: It isn’t pretty.

The Shittiest Car In North Brooklyn, Revisited

I honestly do not know what to say about this, the latest state of the East Willie Guanomobile, other than whoever is responsible for this act of theft must have really wanted that car stereo. BADLY.

Miss Heather

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