New York Shitty Day Starter: W.W.B.D.?

June 10, 2009 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

mosesinvests

wwbd

From Berry Street.

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Ender: XXX Street Seating

June 9, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Street Furniture 

Now that my Internet service has been restored (thanks Verizon!) I can finish the day with some street seating of a very adult nature which hails from Green Street.

couch1

Those of you who have ever wondered why I, a woman with two art degrees, refuses to teach for a living listen up. You’re about to get your answer.

xxx

One day I would walk into the classroom and find something like this.

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Starter: Think Again

June 8, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

Well, I’ve been to one world fair, a picnic, and a rodeo, and that’s the stupidest thing I ever heard come over a set of earphones. You sure you got today’s codes?—   Major T.J. “King” Kong.

thinkagain

I thought I did. Really. I’ve seen a lot of weird and perverted shit in my life but I never thought I’d see the day a property in Greenpoint, 11222 would be pimped on Bedford Avenue. 11211.

the-oakland

Hell has frozen over.

theoaklandsales

Meet “THE OAKLAND”

Our home is our joy at the end of the day, our deepest comfort, our refuge from the world. That world should be a place of inspiration and a source of comfort. That home should be made secure and safe. A place where craftsmanship is not a luxury. Where the same work and effort that you put lovingly put into making it a place of beauty is also same the standard expected from the developer.

We’ve passed through the dark ages of standard-less housing, welcome to the age of enlightenment. Welcome to The Oakland. A place where quality meets integrity. A place where satisfaction throughout your entire experience is our personal guarantee— from the sales team to the developer— starting today. We stand by our word and remain at your service.

The Oakland

208-driggs-avenuenys

Located on McGuinness Boulevard (formerly known as Oakland Street) and a beer bottle’s toss from the Brooklyn Queens Expressway. I’m very curious to know what the advertiser (and developer) define as a place of “comfort” and “inspiration”. Can you say “soon to be dumped into rental”?

Welcome to the dark age in north Brooklyn.

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Ender: Happy Birthday Pa Heather!

June 8, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

To close the day on a personal note today is Pa Heather’s birthday. I spent much of it racking my brain as to what to give him. What does one give a man who has— or hates— damned near everything? To this end I decided to take and walk and think the matter over. It was at McCarren Park I finally found my answer: a slice of life not be found where he lives.

shirtlessman

A very Greenpoint slice of life.

crackkills

You might be getting older and losing your hair, Pa Heather, but as the above photographs clearly illustrate hair loss is not necessarily a bad thing. Happy birthday dad!

Miss Heather

Today’s Bit Of Recession Humor: Pulling The Plug

June 8, 2009 ·
Filed under: Recession, Williamsburg 

mishacalvertI usually do not re-blog material from other sites but I have been deluged with emails regarding this gem, an article from the New York Times entitled (in every conceivable sense of the word) “Parents Pulling The Plug on Williamsburg Trustfunders”. For this reason I feel compelled to pass it along. It even features a quote from Misha Calvert (better known as the organizer of the Mr. and Miss Williamsburg Contest and alleged thief of Colt 45) as seen at left.

Interested parties will be pleased (or distressed) to know Ms. Calvert is wearing substantially more apparel in this tome which my buddy over at Queens Crap called:

Quite possibly the most humorous article of the year.

With such pissers as this:

Luis Illades, an owner of the Urban Rustic Market and Cafe on North 12th Street, said he had seen a steady number of applicants, in their late 20s, who had never held paid jobs: They were interns at a modeling agency, for example, or worked at a college radio station. In some cases, applicants have stormed out of the market after hearing the job requirements.

“They say, ‘You want me to work eight hours?’ ” Mr. Illades said. “There is a bubble bursting.”

and this:

It can be hard to see the signs of financial troubles in Williamsburg because residents are so loath to show that they had money in the first place. Robert Lanham, author of “The Hipster Handbook,” said in an interview that many newer residents tried to blend in with the area’s gritty history and dressed “half the time like they’re homeless people.”

I am inclined to agree. If you have not checked out this article already I encourage you to do so. It’s something else. In closing I’d like to give this piece of advice to Ms. Calvert: if you want to be taken seriously it might be good, for starters, not to be photographed in a gold lame bikini top throwing hand signs.

Just a thought.

Miss Heather

Image Credit: Your Nabe via Free Williamsburg

From The Gullibility Files: Student Habitats

June 8, 2009 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Williamsburg 

studenthabitats

As a general rule I eschew posting ridiculous apartment advertisements. My reasoning for this practice is very simple: an entire blog could be premised on the subject and, well, New York Shitty is not that blog. However, once in a blue moon I will find something so ludicrous even I have to give pause. Which brings me to Student Habitats on Metropolitan Avenue (as seen in the above photograph) and the following advertisement gracing their storefront:

stanhopeandwyckoff

When someone says “East Williamsburg” I usually think of the Graham Avenue stop of the L. If pushed I’ll even grudgingly concede the Grand Street, Montrose Avenue and Morgan Avenue stops as being located in “East Williamsburg”. But Stanhope Street and Wyckoff Avenue?!?

googlemap

That’s kind of pushing the envelope if you know what I mean.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Street Seating Du Jour: Luxe Living On Java Street

June 8, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Street Furniture 

It’s been a while since I’ve hit you up with some street seating. I have to confess this has more to do with forgetfulness on my part than a dearth of good pickings. Luckily I was reminded of the error of my ways today as I walking down Java Street. Which is where I found the following blue chip ensemble.

95javast

All the essentials for a leisurely Monday afternoon in the Garden Spot of the Universe are present:

1. A comfy chair
2. A television set, albeit sans cable (it is a recession after all) and this piece of added value

3dglasses

3. A pair of 3-D glasses

All you need is a brewski (in the requisite paper bag, naturally) and perhaps a can of pickled herring and you’re set!

Miss Heather

East Williamsburg Street Art Du Jour: Fresh Bricks

June 8, 2009 ·
Filed under: Recession, Street Art, Williamsburg 

freshbricksnys

This missive hails from Skillman Avenue and is located, amusingly enough, on a rather large, ramshackle construction fence. As you will see in the following close-up one very angry citizen (brandishing a bic pen) was even thoughtful enough to add a few finishing touches to Timothy Geitner.

greenspanandfriend

Nice.

Miss Heather

From The New York Shitty Inbox: Rebel For A Cause

June 8, 2009 ·
Filed under: Area 51, Williamsburg 

killerbeesthumbThis item comes from Leslie Ann Murray who is organizing a very special fundraiser this upcoming weekend. I’ll let her take it from here:

100 Bumble Bees Riding over the Williamsburg bridge

Make your own bumble bee costume, grab your bike, helmet, honey pots and lets ride over the Williamsburg bridge. You have to wear a costume or something that honors the bumble bee spirit; yellow and black strip socks are acceptable. Be creative, please come in something bumble beeish.

Why ride over the bridge in a bumble bee costume? because bees are great, I love honey and I eat B pollen, I think it would be fun to ride over the bridge with a group of people in bumble bee costumes and also to raise money for Imani House adult literacy program.

This is not a race just a nice bike stroll. Bikers share the lane with pedestrians on the bridge so we have to be alert to the people on feet.

Bring your cameras, smiles, warmth, beauty, friends and love. If you would like to bring your instruments please do, I’m sure bumble bees love music.

This event kicks off at the Manhattan entrance of the Williamsburg Bridge at 4:00 p.m. Saturday, June 13. The suggested donation to participate is $5.00 (although if you do not have the money to spare you are welcome just the same). For more information (including tips on how to make your own bee suit!) click here and you’ll be directed to 100 Bumble Bees web site.

Miss Heather

Reader Contribution Du Jour: The Garden Spot Muffler Man

June 8, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

This weekend I posted an image of a rather impressive muffler man from Greenwood Heights. Not to be outdone I found an impressive specimen from our very own 11222 lurking in my inbox this morning. It comes courtesy of Thomas Bachman.

cherrystmufflerman

cherrystmufflerman2

Those of you who wish to make this dapper chap’s* acquaintance can do so on Cherry Street which, as you can see, does not quite live up to the pastoral nature of its name nowadays— although a few weeds can be spied in the background. Great catch, Thomas!

Miss Heather

*Who appears to be wearing something resembling a diaper. Given the lack of public facilities in the area this is completely understandable.

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