Domo Arigato: The Robots Are Coming!
I came across this— what will undoubtedly be THE social event of the season— via a blog (I highly recommend) called Blondie & Brownie. In fact I like the way they wrote about it so much* I am going to hand you over to them for the 411. All I’m saying is:
- I like watching mechanized things beat the unholy crap out of each other.
- You bet your sweet ass I’m filming this.
In all seriousness this “interactive installation” by artist Dan Walker sounds like a helluva fun way to while away a Saturday night. Check it out!
Robot Monkey World Chimpionship
April 18, 2009 starting at 6:00 p.m.
t.b.d
224 Franklin Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222
Miss Heather
*The even incorporated a Styx reference. Bravo!
Thoughts About A Demagogue
I care not to dwell upon my pre-New York Shitty life. I left Texas in 1996. I have neither been back to the place nor do I plan to go there anytime soon. It’s history. But when certain things are brought to my attention, like the above video which came via The Huffington Post by way of Pa Heather, who wrote:
I guess this means a passport will be needed to enter Texas?
I feel compelled to revisit those not-so-good ol’ days.
The first time I became acquainted with Rick Perry was while pumping gas in Dallas: his name graced each and every gasoline station in the Lone Star State. As (then) Agriculture Commissioner and, it should be noted, Democrat such stuff under his jurisdiction. The second time I encountered Rick Perry was in college. In a classroom, not at a “kegger”. The course in question was either Texas history or economics— I do not recall. But I clearly remember the introduction/caveat the teaching fellow gave us:
- She was an avowed conservative Republican— in the truest pre Neo-Con Goldwater sense.
- She was against abortion because she thought birth control should be made readily available to everyone.
- She promised not let her personal politics color either the discussion in the class room or her grading. She delivered.
What’s more, she utterly detested Rick Perry and was not the least reluctant to make us aware of this fact. Often. She once said he was a member of the “good ol’ boys” network and was seeking “higher office”. He got it. Albeit as a Republican.
Political turncoats strike me as being like recently converted non-smokers: they turn their ire on those who remind them of what they once were. A more cut and dried way of putting this I suppose would be hypocrisy. But to merely call Rick Perry a hypocrite would do him (and hypocrites in general) a tremendous disservice. He is much more complex.
And stupid.
Rick is correct when he says this piece of legislation concerns both Texans and Americans alike. The reason I left Texas was I, as an American, hated living “under the thumb of tyrants”. A fistful of thumbs including but not limited to racism, sexism, homophobia, antisemitism, anti-intellectualism, and George W. Bush made me aware that, at long last, it was time to go. The state I was born and (largely) raised in no longer existed.
This “frog in the pot” was seared medium rare, got the hell out of Dodge and has since gained the clarity of hindsight (and a more extensive knowledge of cinema and politics) to pigeon hole a bone fide demagogue when she sees one.
The above clip comes from a movie called A Face In The Crowd. It stars Andy Griffith, Patricia Neal and Walter Matthau and, interestingly/ironically enough, was directed by Elia Kazan. This film is over fifty years old yet I find it strangely reminiscent of Perry’s speech. Homespun rugged individualism and “honest cracker barrel talk” posturing as upright citizenship on television which is in reality nothing more than partisan politics, sensationalism and racism. Plain and simple.
Go ahead and secede, Texas Rick. I won’t miss you.
Miss Heather
P.S.: If you’re reading this (p)Rick, I take serious offense at your quoting Sam Houston in your speech. As it would happen, Governor, I am one of his descendants. Obviously I never met the man, but my grandparents told me stories about him. I reputedly sport the “Houstonian jaw” which I am about to unleash on you.
While a slave owner and anti-abolitionist, my forebear was against secession. Sam Houston was “Pro-Union”. After living with Cherokees and watching the Trail of Tears unfold he became aware of the plight of Native Americans. It upset him tremendously. Some of his finer swan songs to this effect can be found in the Congressional Globes dating from the Buchanan Administration, which I happen to possess.
Call it gut instinct (or my Texan cum Brooklyn temperament) but I doubt very much that my great, great, (great ?) Grandpa would fancy being quoted by you, (p)Rick. While hardly a perfect person (I am anything but proud about having a slave owner in my family) he did have principles/a moral center— however misguided. This is something you seem to lack, (p)Rick. I’m going to go out on a limb here but I’d guess Sam Houston, my forebear, would call you an asshole. Or worse.
New York Shitty Day Ender: The SCADgate Saga Continues!
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
I have a confession to make: the last several days I have been down in the dumps. God only knows I have been given ample enough reason to feel this way. The good news is the good days are far outnumbering the bad one nowadays. Still, the dreary weather of late hasn’t not helped matters much. Yours truly prefers a hefty helping of sunshine to Seattlesque gloom any day. Fortunately I found a ray of sunshine in my inbox last night. It comes from an ombudsman of Savannah College of Art & Design and yes it pertains to the Greenpoint gift that keeps on giving: Sidney Lumet’s recently discovered Lifetime Achievement Award.
My name is Trey (excised) and I am an ombudsman at the Savannah College of Art and Design. I would very much like to follow-up with your friend Rebecca11222 about the Sidney Lumet award that was found. I am sorry to hear that someone at the college was not responsive to her report of having found this item. The college is interested in helping the award find its way back to Mr. Lumet and I would like to help facilitate this. Could you forward this note to your friend and ask her to contact me?
I hope that you are enjoying New York and that your readership of the blog is strong. (Thanks! — Ed. Note) If I can ever help you from my office in Savannah to take care of any business you may have with the college please let me know and I will try to assist.
Sincerely,
Trey
Needless to say I was more than happy to forward his missive to Rebecca. Where is this most Greenpoint glorious tale of inexplicably misplaced property headed? Only time will tell. In the meantime I have two questions:
- How the hell did this award find its way to a traffic triangle in Greenpoint in the first place?
- I wonder if this Trey chap* would be willing to talk to my artistic alma mater about the alumni mailings I have been receiving from them? Namely pointing out the fact that although I cherish the education I received at their institution the fact of the matter is a woman with FIVE FIGURES OF STUDENT LOAN DEBT does not have sufficient liquidity to throw three figure donations their direction. Much less the money to spare for $80.00 per ticket reunions. That kind of money buys a LOT of Carlo Rossi which, for the record, is Chez Shitty’s primary liquid asset!
Miss Heather
*Who strikes me as an amazingly nice guy.
Street Furniture Du Jour: Distressed On Troutman
This flat-lined chaise lounge hails from a very special street in Bushwick called Troutman. If it could tell us its story I have little doubt it would be a very interesting one!
Miss Heather
22 Havemeyer Street, Revisited
It has been six weeks since Bob shot the above, his last, footage. In this time little has changed for those who have been displaced by this building. But this is not to suggest it’s been anything other than business as usual for Mr. Choi.
The above photograph (which was taken last week) is proof positive that no dirty deed goes unrewarded in Williamsburg. A Tale of Two Cities indeed!
Miss Heather
Subway Poster Du Jour: M Is For MILF
Just when I thought television couldn’t possibly inflict anything worse on the viewing public I discovered this advertisement at Montrose Avenue stop of the L. Is it just me or do these young bucks look like they’re queued up for a gang bang? I suppose, metaphorically speaking, they are. I guess I should just be content that these gents have shirts on. Nonetheless I still find myself asking:
Why god, why?
Miss Heather
Greenwick Photos Du Jour: Never Forget
Commercial Street
Harrison Place
Miss Heather
P.S.: In related news Construction Safety Week is cometh— and soon!
Just in time for Pa Heather’s visit to our fair city! Boy is he in for a treat.
From The New York Shitty Photo Pool: McCarren Park
Today’s installment of fun in the sun (with the exception of the latter most two photographs, which were taken by yours truly) comes courtesy of Mugsniffer.
Miss Heather
East Williamsburg Photo Du Jour: 249 Varet Street Revisited*
Per their web site:
Free Internet, parking, computer use, cable TV, Long Distance Calling… our guests are spoiled…
Indeed.
The store bought stencil-tising certainly looks luxurious. I’ve seen halfway houses more welcoming than this. In any case give me a call when this heap is legal— or you have adequately paid off the proper authorities. Whichever comes first.
Miss Heather
Great Moments In Aluminum Siding XIX: Troutman Street Fugfest
Living in Greenpoint has to some extent immunized me to aluminum siding. I can walk down block (and block) chock a block of the stuff and it no longer fazes me. I have long harbored the fear that I had become a siding Queen. Then I gazed upon 247 Troutman Street. To quote Madonna:
I made it through the wilderness
Somehow I made it through
Didn’t know how lost I was
Until I found you
Infatuated with the sheer fugliness of this structure I went in for a closer look.
There’s a whole lot of fug happening here.
Across the street.
Down the block.
I made Mister Heather look at this one immediately upon arriving home from work. After sputtering a few incomprehensible syllables about its utter hideousness he headed straight for the liquor cabinet.
I don’t blame him. I had to toss down a couple glasses of wine (at home) before digesting this beauty.
Too bad this wine bar at Wilson Avenue and Starr Street wasn’t open. Was the baby shit colored siding to blame or just the sour economy? I suspect we’ll never know.
Miss Heather
P.S.: This beauty can also be found on Troutman Street. What it lacks in siding it makes up for in sheer stupid.



































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