Greenpoint
Lorven Pharmacy
Culture on the Cheap
Home Sweet Home!
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
So I lied. The previous post was not and will not be my final post of the day. Sometimes I encounter something so special I deem it necessary to pass it along to my readers stat. Today was one such day.
So you’re probably saying to yourself “What’s the big deal— so someone has a children’s playhouse in their yard?” Ordinarily this would not be a newsworthy development, but it is where this petit chateau is located that makes it so fascinating: on the premises of our local waste treatment plant. Yes folks, in the shadow of what I lovingly call the “Greenpoint Shit Tits” our friends at the D.E.P. are playing house!
NICE.
Miss Heather
I Am A Bad Feminist
I have found myself asking this question more and more of late. When I leave my apartment building I am harassed by construction workers on a regular basis. When I take photographs men try to intimidate me. I have been hissed at, kissed at and physically threatened in person. Online I have been called a bitch, a witch, a cunt and someone who needs a good “vagina pounding”. Does this sound like equality to you?
I aspire to be called an asshole, dick head, son of a bitch or motherfucker. In terms of physical violence, I want the threat of a good ass kicking, not a hate fuck. I am married woman. I want to be monogamous. Is this too much to ask? I think not.
Gloria Steinem said anyone against Hillary Clinton was anti-woman. I guess I am anti-woman too. Who knew? In any case, here’s a choice tidbit I found from the March 11, 1870 edition of the Brooklyn Daily Eagle to remind us that womens’ rights are quite a novel thing.
When someone says to me:
Hey Heather, you motherfucking dick-headed son of a bitch asshole I want to kick your fucking ass.
I know I have achieved equality with my male peers and will dissipate into a cloud of feminist pixie dust. Until then I will rant. And be a cunt whose sole aspiration in life is to be an asshole. Feminism is dead— if you want it to be. I’ll keep on fighting, thank you very much.
Cocksucker.
This post is dedicated to George Carlin.
R.I.P.
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Fun With Parking Meters
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
From Manhattan Avenue.
Miss Heather
All’s Well That Ends Well
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
So today was the first time I have seen Steve since I posted the infamous Greentomano photograph on Sunday. Naively I thought I would be the one to break the news to him that *quite* few people have seen him bound and gagged via the wonder that is the Internets. I was wrong. Apparently several evenings ago a person he had been out of touch with for seven years walked up to him at the local video store and asked him if he had seen his picture on “some blog”. He said no. Naturally he was very interested to see what the fuss was all about.
Larry da Junkman and I showed him— but not before busting his chops a little. I told Steve that a completely unexpected group of people found his picture tremendously entertaining: the B.D.S.M. community. (WARNING: link contains VERY adult content). This alarmed him a little at first.
Steve: So am I going to have women trying to tie me up now?
Miss H: It is a distinct possibility.
Larry: Only if you them to, Steve.
Believe it or not this assuaged Steve’s concerns considerably. What’s more, he began to think about hitherto unknown money-making opportunities that come with being bound and gagged for pay. The following video picks it up from there.
Those of you who are concerned about Steve’s welfare, wish to ask him out on a date (he’s a really nice guy, he also COOKS!), want a straight answer as to why he was taped and gagged to chair* or are hankering to listen to some live music tonight will be pleased as punch to know that his band will be playing jazz in the newly constructed “small room” at Club Europa!
Club Europa
98 Meserole Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222
Bring your own tape.
Miss Heather
*All I was told today was they couldn’t find the straight jacket.
Greenpoint Photos du Jour: Another Question
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
From Manhattan Avenue.
Miss Heather
Crosstown Local Photos du Jour
Today I thought I would kick off the morning with a little motivational material for all you commuters out there. The following posters can be found next to each other on the Smith & 9th Street bound platform, why not take a moment over your morning coffee and check them out?
I can’t really argue with this one. The only refinement I would add is tribal tattoos. Ever noticed how many people are walking around with Celtic-looking imagery permanently inscribed on their bodies who are not by any stretch of the imagination of Celtic derivation? This drives me crazy. Why don’t they just paint their bodies blue and call female police officers “sugar tits” instead? At least that would be entertaining.
Now this is more like it! With perquisites like this it almost makes working in a right to work state tolerable. Almost.
Closing on a transit-related note, those of you who happened to enter or exit the L train at Lorimer Street yesterday between 4:30 and 6:30 p.m. might have noticed that the “L Line Team” was conducting a “Meet and Greet” event. I was unaware of this, so being greeted by a very friendly-looking group of public servants and seeing a man standing behind a podium (who I was told was Greg Lombardi, the General Manager for the L) took me by surprise. Naturally it didn’t take me long to get my bearings and have a little fun.
MTA Lady: Hi, we’re the members of the L Line team. Want a brochure?
Me: Sure.
MTA Lady: If you have anything concerns you wish to bring up Mr. Lombardi, the General Manager of the L line, he is right over there behind that podium.
Me: That’s not necessary, thanks. L train runs okay enough. Of course I live off the G. You guys should be happy you aren’t the line team over there. If they have a “meet and greet” session I assure you we will have a lot of things to say to them.
One L Line Team member thought this was hilarious.
Think about it for a minute. Would you want to be one of the people charged with getting an earful (and then some) from a bunch of angry Crosstown Local patrons? In the lexicon of crappy jobs I imagine this would rank alongside being a collections agent, Amway salesman or telemarketer.
So quit your complaining, we’re all gonna get laid!
Miss Heather
THIS WEEKEND: Empty Cages Collective
This upcoming Sunday, June 29th the Beehive Salon will be hosting a very special group of glamour pusses; adoptable cats and kittens (including the inimitable Miss Squirrel, seen above) from Empty Cages Collective, a rescue organization recently started up by my good friend, animal lover and fellow Greenpointer, Lisacat.
The Beehive Salon
115 North 7th Street
Brooklyn, New York 11211
(718) 782-8376
If you are thinking about adopting a cat or simply want to brighten the day of some kitties in search of a forever home, why not swing by between 2:00 – 6:00 p.m. and say hi?
Miss Heather
Photo Credit: Lisacat
Feel Good Greenpoint Moment Of The Day
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
I learned about this good natured bit of anonymous mischief from Emily Raw. She writes:
My next-door neighbor Tyler had hung some potted flowers from his air-conditioner cage, but they weren’t doing too well. Last night I guess someone on the neighborhood went on a rescue mission & replaced the dying live flowers with some very cheerful plastic ones from the fabulously ubiquitous Greenpoint dollar stores. Best street art ever!
I empathetically agree. This is what being Greenpointers is all about: giving each other a hand…
or if need be, a bouquet!
Miss Heather
Could It Be?
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
The police arrested an ex-con with a history of stabbing-while-biking in the weekend stabbing of a Queens woman walking in Long Island City. Police say Eli Granger stabbed a woman in the chest while riding on his bike. A tip to Crimestoppers led the police to Granger’s home at a Greenpoint “flophouse.”
Looks like Greenpoint’s favorite hotel might have just added a little more value to New York City’s standard of living! I don’t know about you, but I can hardly wait until Max and his buddies open another establishment on Banker Street.
Miss Heather
Photo Credit: Gothamist
Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Subway Love
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
From the Norman Avenue entrance of the Smith & 9th Street bound G train.
Miss Heather
NYS Flickr Pool
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