Belvedere Rising

August 4, 2007 ·
Filed under: Area 51 

I am awake at 7:00 a.m. On a Saturday.

The cats are fighting. Well, at least four of them are. The fifth one is sick.

The husband is milling about. He is already asking me why I am up so early. Soon he will want a cup of coffee. When he gets his cup of joe he will remember that I drank the last of the milk last night. A tantrum will most certainly follow.

I cannot think of a better way to express the Chateau de Ghetto love I am experiencing right now than to share with you a brand-spanking new Belvedere!

A New Belvedere!

Or at least the site where it is going up: 218 Eckford Street.

Power Cables

As you can see, it is located right next door to a fellow Belvedere. I think this one is XII. Even I have trouble telling them apart sometimes. This is because there are (seemingly) a gazillion of them and they all LOOK FUCKING ALIKE! Sort of like Children of the Damned.

Belvedere Doorway

Here is a hallmark of what I like to call The Belvedere Style: a double door entrance awaiting a pretentious— yet cheap-looking— lintel bearing some arbitrarily determined set of Roman numerals. I wonder if the this one will be “XXX”? I can only hope so. If it is, I’ll be sure to celebrate by swilling down some delicious Belvedere Vodka.

Belvedere Vodka

What will those crazy folks over at Bridge Realty think of next? I for one would like to see Belvedere: The Musical.

Miss Heather

Belvedere XX

July 11, 2007 ·
Filed under: Area 51 

This morning it was brought to my attention that Brownstoner has discovered *gasp* a new Karl Fischer building in Greenpoint!

Fort Apache, The ‘Point

Uh, if my memory serves me correctly, the crappy condo construction site in question (AKA: Fort Apache, the ‘Point) has been creeping along for at least 1 1/2 years. Breaking news this edifice decidedly is not. But I do not want to suggest this feature isn’t worth reading. The comments are friggin’ hilarious. For example:

…I have heard that it no longer is residential project and may be an Orthodox Temple now.

AND

I’d actually wish for taller, more evil buildings along McGuinness if you gave me the chance. Greenpoint has sixteen-story towers going up on well-trafficked side streets, but McGuinness is really a barren place, and is a perfect contender for higher densities. At some point in the distant future, it could be an attractive boulevard people walk down, even — but scattershot small-scale buildings aren’t gonna do it. I’d actually like to see detached six-to-eight-story apartment buildings with retail, or something, like the one they’re building at McG and Driggs.

Um, okay. Anyone who has an idea this stupid and implausible should be forced to live in one of these piece of shit buildings.

On the first or second floor.

Facing the waste treatment plant.

Idiot.

Anyhoo, another (and in my opinion more important) detail Brownstoner missed is what’s going up next door.

A new Belvedere?!?

Could it be???

Belvedere XX

YES, YES IT IS!!!

Ladies and gentleman! It gives me great pleasure to introduce to you… BELVEDERE XX!

(applause)

Miss Heather

P.S.: Be sure to check out my updated Meet the Belvederes map! Belvedere V has been added too. It’s big. It’s fug. It’s located in WILLIAMSBURG!

Meet the Belvederes!

May 22, 2007 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

The recent discovery of “Belvedere 28” made me (finally) realize exactly how many of these buildings blight the Greenpoint landscape. To apply cold deductive reasoning, if there is a “Belvedere 28” there must be a “Belvedere 27”, “Belvedere 26”, etc., etc. The previous gave me an idea; why not track down all these buildings, document them and place them on a handy map? Last weekend I commenced my quest. Here are my findings.

Belvedere 28
Location: 137 Java Street

Belvedere 28

Belvedere 12
Location: 150 Java Street

Belvedere 12

Sure it hasn’t been built yet, but the sign clearly (if illiterately) indicates this will be the location of “Belvedere 12”. It should be noted that I found something rather unusual at this site.

Belvedere 12 Portal

Looks like some type of portal. Does the Belvedere Empire employ an open door policy for felines or is this the worker’s entrance for non-union elfin employees? I for one hope it is the previous, not the latter.

Belvedere 22
Location:
636 Leonard Street

Belvedere 22

They were having an “Open House” when I took this picture last Sunday. Didn’t see any takers, though. Perhaps noise from the illegal weekend contruction being conducted inside kept potential clients at bay?

Belvedere 8
Location: 116 Calyer Street

Belvedere 8

Arguably, this has got to be the ugliest of the lot (so far). Its location (near McGuinness Boulevard) isn’t exactly stellar either.

Belvedere 6
Location: 114 Calyer Street

Belvedere 6

Immediately next door to “Belvedere 8”, #6 makes one wonder where “Belvedere 7” is located. Miss Heather will find this phantom condo. Next time…

Miss Heather

Belvedere XXVIII

May 6, 2007 ·
Filed under: Area 51, Greenpoint Magic 

As my husband and I were passing Java Street this afternoon we noticed a balloon festooned sign with “Open House” emblazoned on it. Not even bothering to read the details, I told my husband:

I betcha this is an advertisement for one of those fucking Belvedere buildings.

I have a perverse fascination with Belvedere. Despite the posh sounding name, these buildings are little more than perfect facsimiles of the pre-fab piles of shit that grace gated apartment communities in suburban Dallas or (insert outer ring suburb here). I am also amazed by how god damned many of them there are. Too damned many, as you will see.

You needn’t pound the pavement in Greenpoint long to deduce how many of these ‘exclusive’ properties scar the local landscape. The developer has saved you (and me) the trouble by numbering them. Including the building my husband and I saw yesterday.

Belvedere 28

Twenty eight?!? Shit, that means there’s almost as many of Belvederes as there are Super Bowls. And I am not too crazy about the Super Bowl either. Wardrobe malfunctions notwithstanding, obviously.

This sheds light as to why I see these posters all the damned time. I have always interpreted the euphemism “motivated seller” as meaning “desperately trying to unload something nobody wants to buy”. Perhaps I should give my buddies Bridge Realty an Economics 101 refresher course? *a-hem*

Dear Mr. Belvedere,

If you are having trouble selling your existing stock, it is an indicator that your product supply has outstripped consumer demand. Constructing another property exactly like it across the street is not going to change anything. In fact, doing so will only exacerbate the problem.

It does not take a graduate of Harvard Business School to figure this out. I have two degrees in fine art and I easily grasp this defining principle of the free market system. What’s your problem?

In closing, I would like to point out that calling the property (across the street from Belvedere XXVIII) “Belveder XII” makes you look really fucking stupid. Can you count? Oh wait, maybe you can’t. This would explain why you continue to build these crappy condos despite having a dearth of interested buyers.

Sincerely,

Miss Heather

The Word On The Street: McGuinness Boulevard

mcguinness1

Stop gentirfiying

belvedere2

BELVEDERE

It’s been a long time— perhaps too long— since I have lavished attention upon the Belvedere Empire. You know, those serial numbered, Neoclassical “by the yard” excrescences with absurdly large balconies which have been popping up in our community for years? Well recently the Mister and I were walking down McGuinness Boulevard. That is where we beheld this. We were not the only ones who took notice either.

Going to move in?

A woman exiting the Polam Supermarket asked. to wit I answered.

Oh, ABSOLUTELY.

I replied. Sarcasm noted (and appreciated) she added:

They have buildings all over the place.

I know, I know. I replied. They ugly as shit and sport those ridiculous balconies. But this one is the biggest of the lot. Hell, it is not a building. It is fucking billboard.

My new friend informed me the lettering went up last week. Clearly she is keeping on top of this matter. Excellent!

201javafrontview

I go in for a closer look.

SWO

Lo and behold, a love letter from the Department of Buildings! Naturally I had to look this up on the their online database and see what gives. Here is what I found.

 

DOBBIS210java3

 

DOBBIS210java2

DOBBIS210java1

 

Scaffolding issues, violating a Stop Work Order and storing combustible material without a permit. These sound vaguely familiar. OH WAIT this is why!

Great Moments in Greenpoint Real Estate: Special Enlightenment Edition

October 21, 2011 ·
Filed under: 11222, Abjectecture, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, WTF 

It has been a long time— perhaps too long— since I have expounded upon the real estate goings-on in Greenpoint. This is because quite frankly it has not been very interesting. There has been the odd development here and there to be certain, but the folks at Belvedere Bridge realty have yet to deliver Belvedere 30, or, XXX. I assure you, gentle readers, I have been very eager to see this happen. So it goes.

This is not to suggest, however, that they have not been busy balconizing my fair burgh: they have. I can personally attest that their latest creation is quite something. In fact, I’d go so far as to write it exceeds my wildest expectations. This is really saying something. Do read on and behold the Greenpoint glory for yourselves!

At a casual glance this block (Green Street between Manhattan Avenue and McGuinness Boulevard) appears to be like any other to be had here.

This ruptured bag of shit? While repulsive it is nothing special. In fact I call it downright pedestrian.

The dulcet hum of DOT trucks heading back to the depot under the Pulaski Bridge? Broadway has its lullaby, this is north Greenpoint’s!

No sir, if you want to see something truly amazing head to 186 Green Street. There, my fellow Garden Spotters, you will find your castle!

The Mister: OHSO?
Me: No. O-S-H-O. It says it’s a castle. If so, where the hell is Rapunzel? Or Lord and Lady Douchebag for that matter?

And what the hell is OSHO?

I could not stop asking myself this question. So this morning, gentle readers, I dipped into the fount of all knowledge: Wikipedia. Follows is what I found:

And follows are my favorite passages from the above tome:

In 1981, Osho relocated to the United States and his followers established an international community, later known as Rajneeshpuram, in the state of Oregon. Within a year, the leadership of the commune became embroiled in a conflict with local residents, primarily over land use, which was marked by hostility on both sides. The large collection of Rolls-Royce automobiles purchased for his use by his followers also attracted notoriety. The Oregon commune collapsed in 1985 when Osho revealed that the commune leadership had committed a number of serious crimes, including a bioterror attack (food contamination) on the citizens of The Dalles.[4] He was arrested shortly afterwards and charged with immigration violations. Osho was deported from the United States in accordance with a plea bargain.[5][6][7] Twenty-one countries denied him entry, causing Osho to travel the world before returning to Poona, where he died in 1990. His ashram is today known as the Osho International Meditation Resort…

The salmonella attack was noted as the first confirmed instance of chemical or biological terrorism to have occurred in the United States.[118] Osho stated that because he was in silence and isolation, meeting only with Sheela, he was unaware of the crimes committed by the Rajneeshpuram leadership until Sheela and her “gang” left and sannyasins came forward to inform him.[119] A number of commentators have stated that in their view Sheela was being used as a convenient scapegoat.[119][120][121] Others have pointed to the fact that although Sheela had bugged Osho’s living quarters and made her tapes available to the U.S. authorities as part of her own plea bargain, no evidence has ever come to light that Osho had any part in her crimes.[122][123][124] Nevertheless Gordon (1987) reports that Charles Turner, David Frohnmayer and other law enforcement officials, who had surveyed affidavits never released publicly and who listened to hundreds of hours of tape recordings, insinuated to him that Osho was guilty of more crimes than those for which he was eventually prosecuted.[125] Frohnmayer asserted that Osho’s philosophy was not “disapproving of poisoning” and that he felt he and Sheela had been “genuinely evil”.[125]

According to court testimony by Ma Ava (Ava Avalos), a prominent disciple, Sheela played associates a tape recording of a meeting she had had with Osho about the “need to kill people” in order to strengthen wavering sannyasins resolve in participating in her murderous plots: “She came back to the meeting and […] began to play the tape. It was a little hard to hear what he was saying. […] And the gist of Bhagwan’s response, yes, it was going to be necessary to kill people to stay in Oregon. And that actually killing people wasn’t such a bad thing. And actually Hitler was a great man, although he could not say that publicly because nobody would understand that. Hitler had great vision.”[96] Sheela initiated attempts to murder Osho’s caretaker and girlfriend, Ma Yoga Vivek, and his personal physician, Swami Devaraj (Dr. George Meredith), because she felt they were a threat to Osho; she had secretly recorded a conversation between Devaraj and Osho “in which the doctor agreed to obtain drugs the guru wanted to ensure a peaceful death if he decided to take his own life.”[96]

During his residence in Rajneeshpuram, Osho dictated three books under the influence of nitrous oxide (Emphasis mine — Ed. Note) administered to him by his private dentist: Glimpses of a Golden Childhood, Notes of a Madman and Books I Have Loved.[126] Sheela later stated that Osho took sixty milligrams of Valium each day and was addicted to nitrous oxide.[127][128][129] Osho denied these charges when questioned about them by journalists.[127][130]

Wow. Just wow. I wonder if Osho is a Widespread Panic fan? It just goes to show that all roads— at least those located in north Brooklyn— lead to laughing gas. Where do I park my Rolls?

 

Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: Yulehenge

December 25, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

yulehenge3

yulehenge2

yulehenge

Those of you who have elected to spend this Christmas Day in the Garden Spot and are looking for something to do should swing over to Leonard Street between Calyer Street and Meserole Avenue. That is where you will find this curiosity. It is located on the west side of the street next door the one that started it all!

SLH (on the behalf of Miss Heather)

New York Shitty Day Starter: Ask & Ye Shall Receive!

It has come to my attention that Brownstoner saw fit to feature an apartment for sale hailing from none other that Belvedere XX. Ostensibly because someone took umbrage with me calling this edifice a piece of crap*— which I assure you it is. Belvedere XX is also known as 185 India Street and the neighbor of LoftsGreenpoint Rental Shitshow Part 1305.

Crap likes company. Especially on McGuinness Boulevard.

But this post isn’t about Belvedere XX, Brownstoner or McGuinness Boulevard. It’s about Belvedere XXXVI and “Park Slope”. On January 25, 2010 I wrote in this post:

…The Belvederization of Park Slope?!? Needless to say I had to get to the bottom of this (inasmuch as one can without G train service). We headed to the closest Belvedere without delay.

Sure enough, it is true! Replete with all the accoutrements we have grown to expect from Belvedere: commodious roof decks and balconies. Needless to say I must see this. However, I am more or less precluded from going to 175 12 Street personally. I am not only too busy with matters north Brooklyn but quite frankly doling out $2.25 in subway fare strikes me as being far too much money to outlay on such an endeavor.

This is where you come in: could some kind soul get a photograph of this property and send it to me via email at missheather (at) thatgreenpointblog (dot) com? I’m dying to see Belvedere XXXVI. Especially in light of the fact this edifice is conveniently located near Lowes, the Brooklyn Queens Expressway and the aromatic Gowanus Canal. Who wouldn’t want an eyeful (or noseful) of that!

Well, I asked for it and I got it. Rowan 5 writes:

Here ya go. The Belvedere is closer to 3rd ave. It’s surrounded by frame houses mostly, with a giant high rise luxury building at the corner of 4th and 12th.

It’s not a bad-looking block but Park Slope proper it is not.

Most definitely not.

I love the prominent poster on the front door advertising Greenpoint and Williamsburg condos…


So there have you: Park Slope Gowanus is the new Greenpoint!

Miss Heather

*I have been told by an anonymous source that someone who bought a unit at Belvedere III, which is admittedly the Pete Best of the Belvederes, ended up re-selling at a loss. Apparently he bought one of the quasi-legal “studio” apartments they are known for (READ: a minuscule first floor apartment with a fully appointed basement including— I shit you not— a sauna). It had problems with flooding.

A Very Special Request From The Editrix of New York Shitty

January 25, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11211, 11215, Gowanus, Park Slope, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

Yesterday the Mister decided to accompany me on my Sunday constitutional. All in all, he took it in good stride (no pun intended) and humored my numerous detours to get a closer of look at things I consider interesting. This of course included savoring the handiwork of north Brooklyn’s real estate juggernaut: Belvedere Bridge Realty. While he may not understand why, he knows I have a developed a fascination with these faux classical, serial numbered properties. He also knows that with such magnificent obsessions (and I have quite a few) it is best to humor yours truly.

To this end he stood by patiently as I tittered myself into a shutter-bugging frenzy at the sight of Belvedere XXXIV (which can be seen at left and is located on Withers Street) and listened (or at least appeared to be listening) to my wry commentary regarding the numerous “Open House” fliers we happened upon during our sojourn. Some even had balloons affixed to them. I can only hope the promise of free pony rides and clowns making balloon animals are next. But I digress.

It was at the intersection of Berry Street and North 9 Street we found the following. We were rendered speechless.

The Belvederization of Park Slope?!? Needless to say I had to get to the bottom of this (inasmuch as one can without G train service). We headed to the closest Belvedere without delay.

Sure enough, it is true! Replete with all the accoutrements we have grown to expect from Belvedere: commodious roof decks and balconies. Needless to say I must see this. However, I am more or less precluded from going to 125 12 Street personally. I am not only too busy with matters north Brooklyn but quite frankly doling out $2.25 in subway fare strikes me as being far too much money to outlay on such an endeavor.

This is where you come in: could some kind soul get a photograph of this property and send it to me via email at missheather (at) thatgreenpointblog (dot) com? I’m dying to see Belvedere XXXVI. Especially in light of the fact this edifice is conveniently located near Lowes, the Brooklyn Queens Expressway and the aromatic Gowanus Canal. Who wouldn’t want an eyeful (or noseful) of that!

Miss Heather

Williamspoint Photos Du Jour: Urban Fur

eggs

Broadway

nonombre

South 5 Street

presidente

smoky

Manhattan Avenue

lorimerstkitty

Lorimer Street

cliffordcat

Clifford Place

asscat

Meserole Avenue

In closing, here’s an item that might be of interest to you dog lovers out there: Dog Habitat’s Black Friday Adoption Event!

adoptionday

Jay Lombard (of Dog Habitat, who sent me the above image) writes:

Hey lady! We wanted to invite you to visit our adoption event tomorrow from noon to 5 p.m. Eight rescue dogs available for adoption from puppies to adolescent age. Pure breeds and brooklyn mutts. Please help us find homes for these beautiful pups!

I was initially confused by Jay’s missive. There are no ladies at New York Shitty. But I do appreciate the sentiment and will certainly make it a point to swing by and say “hi” these lovely pups. You should too.

BLACK FRIDAY ADOPTION DAY
November 27, 2009; 12:00 – 5:00 p.m.
Dog Habitat/Unleash Brooklyn
216 Franklin Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222

In closing this post goes out to Lisacat who did her best to assuage the suffering of an auto shop cat named Bondo. I am certain wherever he is (junkyard cat heaven?) he is grateful for your hard work. I know I am.

Miss Heather

P.S.: While I am (ostensibly) on the subject of fur, I discovered something on Manhattan Avenue today that really bothered me.

manhattanfurrierKEVINWALSH

The above photograph graces Forgotten-NY’s Greenpoint page. Regarding this wonderful example of old school signage Kevin Walsh writes:

When you’ve got a good sign, you don’t need to ever replace it. The old school phone number, probably EVergreen, is still there too.

furrier

That is, of course, unless you are Belvedere Partners Corporation. In which case you drill a “For Sale” sign on top of it. I can’t honestly say I am surprised that they saw fit to do this. These folks have been peppering north Brooklyn with balconized Neoclassical crap for years. One of their latest opuses graces Skillman Avenue. It’s a real beauty. It goes without saying you can look forward to seeing it on New York Shitty. Soon.

  • NYS Flickr Pool

    AbandonedThe One CrewWalking the Dog in the SnowSnowy Seagulls
  • Ads