From The New York Shitty Inbox: Oreo’s Law

December 15, 2009 ·
Filed under: Brooklyn, Crazy Cat Lady, Criminal Activity 


I am certain many of you know the sad story of Oreo. Earlier this year she was thrown off a six story building. She survived despite having all of her legs shattered. However, she proved to be “too aggressive” and the ASPCA euthanized her.

Although Oreo’s may be gone, her death is still the matter of much debate. The people at Empty Cages Collective have brought it to my attention that a number of respected animal welfare groups did, in fact, step forward to take Oreo. Nonetheless she was still put to sleep. Which brings me to the purpose of this post: Oreo’s Law. Here’s the 411 per Empty Cage‘s web site:

In June 2009, a one year old dog named Oreo was thrown from the sixth floor of a Brooklyn rooftop. The perpetrator was arrested and Oreo – with broken bones and fractured ribs – was “rescued” and taken to the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA). The ASPCA started treating her broken body and she began to recover. She was quickly deemed the “miracle dog,” and a happy ending seemed possible. As Nathan Winograd, animal sheltering expert and advocate points out: the miracle was short-lived.

According to the ASPCA, Oreo – a dog traumatized and abused by humans – was showing some aggression towards the same species that had thrown her off of a roof and nearly killed her. While Oreo’s body had healed, she was still (unsurprisingly) distrustful and stressed by some people. Ed Sayres, President of the ASPCA made the decision to kill her due to this alleged behavior. Before she was killed, Pets Alive, a no-kill animal shelter located in the foothills of the Catskill Mountains, contacted the ASPCA to ask for custody of Oreo. Pets Alive is a reputable, approved animal rescue organization with experience in handling dogs deemed aggressive. Pets Alive contacted the ASPCA repeatedly requesting custody of Oreo. The ASPCA refused. The ASPCA then killed Oreo.

Oreo, abused and possibly beaten before entering the ASPCA, thrown from a roof and injured, was “rescued” only to be killed far before her time, without being given a chance at rehabilitation – even when a responsible organization was willing to work with her and foot the bill.

This has led Assembly Member Micah Z. Kellner and Senator Thomas K. Duane to introduce “Oreo’s Law”. “Oreo’s Law” will grant legitimate animal protection and welfare organizations the right to request healthy and treatable animals be given to their care when a shelter is planning on killing them. A similar law already exists in California, and has saved countless animals from unnecessary and untimely death at the hands of animal control and sheltering establishments.

If you are interested in making Oreo’s Law happen, please take the time to write a letter to your State Representative and Senator. Those of you who need assistance finding out who the elected officials are for your district can get help by point and clicking here.


Miss Heather

More Late Night Fun From The New York Shitty Inbox

December 8, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11222, Criminal Activity, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

If the buzz in my inbox this morning is any indication, it would appear that last night was a lively one at the Garden Spot of the Universe. G writes:

I also heard some ruckus last night on Huron, perhaps it was the same ruckus, perhaps not. This was at about 11:30.

It was a domestic dispute between a couple in their 20s. One lives in the red building across from the papacitos garden on huron with the giant puerto rican flag that hangs out the window.

The girl was screaming that the guy had her house keys. Somehow, she got into his car and started it (it was a white Lexus). He was standing in front yelling for her to hit him or get out of his fucking car. Really really loud. I called the cops, a half hour or so passed and no one came. Eventually she got out and walked into her red building and he and a friend drove off. It seemed all bark no bite but, I was concerned. There are some young punks that hang out in front of that building and yell stuff, or throw fireworks out their windows quite often.

Alas, I guess it could be worse.


Miss Heather

LAST GASP: Let It Snow…

(Sleet, Whatever…)

I don’t know about you but on days such as this I wish I had a fireplace to lounge around and roast some marshmallows. I have grown to accept this will probably never happen. No worries: James sent me some toasty carbecque porn to warm up my cold, wet bones.




He writes:

Thought you might enjoy. I saw this last Monday, but after your Tuesday post I got inspired to go take a few pics. Can you explain both cars’ proximity to fire hydrants?  And do you think Parts Express is going to get much business out of the owner of this crispy Chrysler? Metropolitan and Berry…

I don’t know on both counts, James, but one does have to appreciate “Anthony’s” entrepreneurial moxie. Perhaps someone will call him to pick up this charbroiled sedan given it has been in stasis for six days? One can only hope!

Miss Heather

P.S.: Is that a take-out menu on the grill? If so, nice!

Greenpoint Degentrification Watch: Noble Street

You have heard of Black Friday. You have heard of “Cyber Monday”. Today, dear readers, I introduce for your Thursday afternoon edification (and courtesy of the Greenpoint Historic District): Carbecque Tuesday!





foodiej81 writes (via the comments for this post):

Totally unrelated, but did you see the shell of a car on noble street.  It is parked in front of a fire hydrant across the street from the synagogue. Looks and smells as if it was involved in a bonfire. The windows are blown, insides all charred, doors open wide did you hear about this? I was curious.

As it would happen I spied woman decorating her house nearby. She gave me the scoop:

  1. This car caught fire at 3:00 a.m., Tuesday, December 1, 2009.
  2. The flames shot up as high as two stories. Naturally the fire department was called.
  3. She has reported this lovely sight to the city. She has been told it is “on their list” to pick up.

There’s no word as to whether or not this car was torched or if it spontaneously combusted. However, given the time it caught fire, the severity of the flames, the already poor condition of said “ride” and the fact it sports no license plates whatsoever I’m leaning in favor of arson.

Good times.

Miss Heather

UPDATE, 6:15 p.m.: Here are more pix of Tuesday’s Camry inferno courtesy of a reader named Monica.

She writes:

Thought you might enjoy my pics of the car fire on Noble Street.  The woman forgot to mention the earth shaking explosion (gas tank??) that made us look out the window. And yes the flames were at least two stories high, although I didn’t catch them that high.

From The New York Shitty Inbox: Scheissegeist

As I have operated this web site over the years I have noticed a great many trends. A collective Internet consciousness, if you will. For example, I have noticed that summer seems to be the season of choice for churlish commenters. As for bat-shit craziness/troll-like activity, one need only peruse emails which are sent after midnight. The wee hours of the night are when the online troglodytes come out to play. Today’s theme— if my inbox is any indication— is this.



Queens Crap (who sent me this delightful item) writes (in an email entitled “An early Christmas present for you”):

Happy Holidays!

After I managed, albeit barely, to keep my lunch in my down I asked where this came from. The fine people of Queens will be pleased as punch to know this VERY failed pair of training pants hails from the intersection of Greene and Grandview Avenue in Ridgewood. But merde is not exclusively an affliction of my friends across the creek. It is a five borough affair— and as I learned today no one does it better than Garden Spot of the Universe. Which brings me to another email I received today:

Xris (of Flatbush Gardener) writes (in an email entitled “Great Greenpointers in Current Events”):

Thought you might enjoy this Greenpoint item from the Brooklyn Eagle: Elderly Pickpocket Has No Fingerprints.

What does sporting a set of sticky fingers have to do with a pair of shit-smeared underwear, you ask? Click the above link and find out. I dare you.

Miss Heather

Burglary On Green Street?

November 24, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11222, Criminal Activity, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 


larryIt has not been a good month for Neer, better known to many of you as one of the lovely ladies who works at A.J. Farms bodega at Green Street and Manhattan Avenue. First it was the catnap and subsequent return of Larry the cat (who can be seen at left). Now her apartment has been burglarized! But this is a lot more disturbing than a mere act of theft— as I learned when I spoke to her last night. Here’s a basic rundown of what happened.

The incident came to pass at 5:00 a.m. last Saturday morning. Here sister awakened to see a man looking around her room. She asked who was there and the man (who was described as being about six feet tall) bolted. They searched the apartment and noticed a number of items of value were missing, including her i-Phone. Neer called it twice. The first time she got no answer. The second time a voice said:

Manhattan and India, ATM, florist

Not wishing to put herself in danger, Neer did not go the location in question. She called the police. However, she later received a call from the florist: they had found her cell phone at the ATM in question. This has since been returned to her.

As you can imagine this incident has upset her tremendously. It’s bad enough to be robbed— but while you are sleeping? That’s just plain scary! Apparently the superintendent of the building in question added insult to injury by not seeming to be concerned. It has not been established whether or not the front door to her apartment was picked or if it had been left unlocked. B if you ask me that’s not terribly important all things considered: someone robbed her apartment while she, her sister and roommate slept!

Let this be a warning to you fellow readers: be mindful of who enters and exits your apartment building and make sure your front door is locked when you go to bed!

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Starter: What Happened November 7?

November 21, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11222, Criminal Activity, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

This was first brought to my attention by someone whose son is a friend of a someone involved, e.g.; via the Greenpoint grapevine. By that I mean the friend (of the son of my tipster) in question was allegedly beaten up by the police and went to the hospital. Per my tipster the fight started over a woman being harassed. Her son’s friend tried to intervene and police officers were knocking cameras out of the hands of bystanders. And busting heads.

I cannot profess to know the truth for the simple reason I was not there. But something very ugly came to pass that evening. Accounts vary, but it boils down to this: two men went to the hospital that night. And the NYPD had something to do with it.

This is interesting given the NYPD’s apparent blind eye to Club Exit, which has no less than two incidences of gun play in the last 18 months— and yet is still open for business. It should also be noted Blackout has been cited for not having a Cabaret License (and a personal visit from D. I. Fulton) because they (purportedly) had D.J.s spinning records.*


Miss Heather

*Per the website:

Any room, place or space in the city in which patron dancing is permitted in connection with the restaurant business or a business that sells food and/or beverages to the public requires a Cabaret license. This description is only a general explanation of which businesses need to have a Cabaret license…

You can read the rest here. Being somewhat of an expert on such stuff D.J.s do not a dance hall and subsequent debauchery make. By all appearances Club Exit does not have a Cabaret license, yet no one is citing them.

Follow-up to The Greenpoint “Hate Sticker” Post

November 16, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11222, Criminal Activity, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

antiSemitismTHUMBI wrote a post on Sunday about an anti-Semitic sticker I found affixed to a Greenpoint pay phone (which can be seen at left). Well, it has been brought to my attention by three commenters that a number of such items (dis)grace the Garden Spot. To cite an example, bob writes:

hi, miss heather. i checked your blog this morning and saw this entry. later, i was walking up manhattan from driggs to the produce store. on the way, i saw a sticker from the same folks (or, “volk” i suppose), only this one substituted “fags” for “jews” as a gay jew living in greenpoint, my morning sure got off to a great start. it was on the window of the laundromat directly across the street from dunkin’ (the one with the red awning). before getting shooed away, i managed to rip the “fags” part off. the rest is still there, or it was when i left anyway. alas, the camera was at home.

This morning I went for a walk and documented all the stickers my commenters noted. In so doing I (unfortunately) found a hitherto undiscovered one. I made sure to note the address and/or intersection where each sticker was located. When I got home I printed out my findings, annotated them and took them tonight’s 94th Precinct Community Council Meeting. In said meeting I brought them to D.I. Fulton’s attention. My grievance was taken seriously— if not by some attendees present (a few of whom sighed, groaned and rolled their eyes). Here’s the deal:

I have been advised that moving forward I am to bring these stickers (when I find them) to the police department’s attention, be it by calling them or forwarding images (with location) to an officer who will henceforth be my “point person”. This same gentleman guaranteed there will be an investigation. In addition, D.I. Fulton told me that ripping these stickers down is perfectly legal. So there have you. All I asked in return was that he have these stickers removed stat. Mister Fulton assured me this will happen.

In other words if you, dear readers, find such stickers/hate speech on your block the NYPD has your ear. Call ’em.

Miss Heather

UPDATE, November 17, 2009: This has been referred to the NYPD Hate Crime Task Force.

What’s Up At The Place Known Formerly As The Greenpoint Hotel

hotelAs I mentioned previously, the weather was such that I had to find alternative means of entertaining myself and/or news gathering. First on my agenda (after working) was visiting Emi at Dog Habitat. I quickly rushed home, took a shower and ran off to my next engagement: Community Board 1’s Human Services (Shelter, Social Services, Aging, Disability Concerns, Health) Committee meeting.

This might not seem like the typical person’s idea of how to spend a Thursday night. Given the dismal turn-out— only two committee members were present— I’d say this is a fair assessment. But then again, I am not typical. I’m a weirdo (hence why I live in Greenpoint: I feel at home). What’s more, my mission had a purpose: the new owner of the Greenpoint Hotel was slated to speak. And speak he did. I was all ears (and some mouth).

Follows a general outline of the proceedings (NOTE: some of the following content is redundant to what I have posted already. By omitting it the natural “flow” of the discussion would be lost— so I kept it) :


First Mr. Deutchman introduced himself, made mention that he owns and operates a number of SROs in the city and gave a background as to how he acquired the property:

  1. He bought the property from the bank (foreclosure or seizure?) at the U.S. Attorney’s Office and D.E.A.’s discretion.
  2. He was the fifth bidder. The previous four bidders were rejected.
  3. He paid $3.5 million dollars for the property.
  4. This includes the laundromat next door (which can be seen above).


  1. This facility (I can honestly find no other word to describe this hodgepodge of buildings) sports 200 rooms. Just rooms. All plumbing (READ: bathrooms, sinks, etc.) is communal.
  2. The parcel in its entirety is 55,000 square feet.
  3. Although Mr. Deutchman was promised there would be 75 residents at signing. There were, in fact, 120 occupied rooms. This number has since been brought down to 80. (I will go into how later.)
  4. At the time of purchase this building had 300 open violations, this has since been brought down to 8.
  5. All structural remedies have been made, what is lacking is a “Certificate of Fitness”.
  6. A fire consultant has been hired to help this complex become fire code complaint.
  7. The exterior has been given a total overhaul. Including a healthy dose of Greenpoint’s personal panache/panacea of choice: aluminum siding!


Inasmuch as some of you might find what I am about to write hard to believe, it is the truth: this is a big improvement. But back to the subject.


  1. The only entrance to this building is on Manhattan Avenue. The fire exits are now self-closing and have alarms (so as to preclude people from using them in cases other than an emergency).
  2. Visitors are required to present valid ID to visit.
  3. The party being visited must meet the person in the lobby and take him (or her) back to his room.
  4. Fire safety directors have been hired.
  5. A web-based security system has been installed. It should be entirely “up and running” soon.
  6. The laundromat will stay. Mr. Deutchman is interested in expanding it to a full-service facility that will offer dry-cleaning.

TENANTS (Current)

As you can imagine, questions and concerns arose as to how current tenants are being handled. Here’s his answer:

  1. Upon taking possession of the property Mr. Deutchman posted notices stating he was tendering the rent roll over the the NYPD to review for unregistered sex offenders and parole-skippers.
  2. Some have been “bought out” through negotiation between his layer and MFY, a legal service.
  3. Some will be evicted for non-payment of rent. Apparently a number of tenants having (and understandably) grown tired of the squalid conditions in this building decided to quit paying rent and this was upheld in housing court. Now that the repairs have been made (which is what Mr. Deutchman purports), collecting rent from some of them has proved to be problematic.
  4. Mr. Deutchman has reached out to various social service agencies (the Veterans Administration among them) to help rehouse them.
  5. Mr. Deutchman faces paying $500,000 in rental over-charge payments to current tenants because (hang with me here, this gets interesting)…
  6. Any tenant who lives in a SRO more than 28 days becomes a rent-stabilized tenant, e.g.; someone who moves in paying $215 a month after 28 days will continue paying $215 a month until the rent can be legally raised. Per the rules and regulations as established by the DHCR. Division of Housing Renewal & Control.
  7. Per Mr. Deutchman a number of the previous owners violated the law and charged rents that were above the allowable legal limit.

And, I suspect, Mr. Deutchman’s predecessors did other things to circumvent the law. Some of the old(ish) timers reading this might remember Sammy. He was a local celebrity of sorts. If my memory serves me correctly he was once featured in the Village Voice— or was it the NYPress? I forget which. In any case, the article in question made light of Sammy’s Solomon-like wisdom when dealing with a dispute over an objet d’art (READ: cheap piece of ceramic crap) at the Salvation Army (where he worked). Two women argued vociferously over who had found the item in question first. After hearing their arguments Sammy rendered his verdict: he dropped said object onto the floor, thus rendering it into numerous pieces the two women could split amongst themselves. Problem solved.

Despite what the previous anecdote might suggest Sammy had a big heart. We were friends and it broke my heart when I heard he died (of a heart attack— he was only 51 years old). Sammy was a resident of the Greenpoint Hotel. One of the things he mentioned (mind you, this was back in 2001 or 2002) was their modus operandi of having the tenants stay there for three weeks (21 days), then stay somewhere else for one, only to return for another three weeks (repeat cycle). As crazy as Sammy’s story sounded at the time given what Mr. Deutchman said it makes sense. Sammy hated living there— as have others I know. Some food for thought— now back to my “minutes”.

TENANTS (Future)

The question was raised by the chair as to why Mr. Deutchman didn’t want to operate a proper hotel. I for one found this query amusing given the number of nondos which have been employed for such a purpose. Albeit, illegally. Mr. Deutchman made it known:

  1. He does not want to run a hotel.
  2. He wants to operate a SRO…
  3. along the lines of an “assisted living facility” or “supported housing”:, e.g.; an adult home…
  4. with the cooperation/oversight of an organization (such as the Veterans Administration, to use an example)
  5. to this end he has filed RFPs (request for proposals).
  6. As he reiterated will be the landlord, and they will administrate day-to-day stuff.
  7. In the meantime he wants to vacate the building entirely of tenants and start anew. When asked by the committee chair how long this might take Mr. Deutchman said three years.


The committee chair asked the $64,000 question: given you have purchased such a large parcel of property, why not develop it?

Mr. Deutchman replied that at some point he would like to build “market-rate” housing on the site. “16 units” (which I would deduce to be 16 floors, I haven’t done the “math” but a footprint that big could plausibly be employed). In any case the chair, did and offered (as a fellow landlord) advise he go higher. Yup.

New York Shitty analysis:

  1. Mr. Deutchman has a contingency plan.
  2. He will develop this property. This is a given.
  3. He will employ it as an SRO in the interim— or given the time line he provided— skip this step and go to point #2.
  4. I am not against an SRO on this property provided it is well managed and maintained. I take a much broader view of “affordable housing” than many in my community do. In my world view an allocation of X units to be sold to families earning $45,000 or less in a tower does not constitute affordable housing. What I want to see (and what the market here really needs) are affordable RENTAL units, be they two bedrooms, one bedrooms, studio apartments or SROs. If the tenants of this hypothetical SRO are long-term residents, as opposed to transients (which seems to have been the prevailing trend at the “Greenpoint Hotel”) and/or a co-educational college dormitory (which is pretty much what the Northside of Williamsburg has become and what the Marzili Hostel was) methinks they’ll become part of the community and be (for the most part) good neighbors.
  5. Sooner or later we’re going to see something big at the corner of Clay Street and Manhattan Avenue.

My feelings are mixed. On the one hand, I hate towers. On the other, I do have to acknowledge that Mr. Deutchman has made numerous improvements to the place formerly known as the Greenpoint Hotel. Inside and out. The lobby is painted in cheerful (a term I never thought I would attribute to this establishment) hues of bright green and orange. It needs to be seen in person to truly be believed. The regular visitations by the police and fire department have abated— or at least subsided substantially.* Which brings me back to one thing Mr. Deutchman mentioned repeatedly: a desire for the NYPD canvass the area and the building proper.

On that note, the next and last 94th Precinct Community Council Meeting for the year will be this upcoming Monday, November 16. Given the wife of a good friend of mine was almost mugged on Roebling and North 8 Street earlier this week (at 7:00 p.m.) I am certain it will be interesting.**

Miss Heather

P.S.: This post is dedicated to the Human Services Committee Member who asked how my raccoon problem was going. I assured him it has stopped. THANK GOD. I’m genuinely sorry your friend in Little Neck got bit and had to go through a series of rabies shots. All nine of them. That sucks. Big time.

*If you care to dispute this please tender your observations via comments or email them via my “tips” page.

**Here’s his account:

Last night was parent teacher night at my two son’s school. Since my wife is a teacher she like to go to meet his teachers since I pick up my kids and drop them off everyday. As she was heading out she told me that her girlfriend who I believed she would be walking with had an earlier appointment and she would be going alone.

I got a bad felling and I actually asked her to take the car the seven blocks we normally walk. I did not want her walking under the BQE alone, even though it was only a little before seven pm. She said no and reminded me how hard it is to park by the school. She assured me she would be careful. The phone rang a little after eight and I answered the phone. It was my wife. She was screaming for me to run down the block because two men had just attempted to rob her. I ran out of my house to see my wife coming up our block crying and screaming. I got her inside and she explained that she had decided to walk up North 8th street instead of north 7th because it was closer to the church and better lit. As she walked up North 8th toward Roebling she was on her old, not fancy cell phone talking to her mother. Two men walked by her. Something told her to look back a few seconds later and she saw the two men closing in on her. They told her to give them everything she had. She started to scream at the top of her lungs. Police, I am being robbed, Police over and over. The two men ran away and my wife then called me and ran the block and a half to our home. We immediately called 911 and then the 94th to report what happened. A car came about a half hour later. The officers took a description of the two but did not fill out any paperwork and left. Although my wife was lucky no physical harm occurred and nothing was taken, I fear that this violation of trust that she now fears walking in our community at night is going to be difficult to overcome. I also am angry that these men are lurking in our community and probably found someone else to rob and will do it again. I also thought about my wife’s mother who is in her seventies and had to hear her daughter screaming over a cell phone not being able to help her. I have been complaining for the last two years that things are not so swell in Williamsburg. I should have went with my gut last night. I will have to live with that decision but I am happy my wife is physically safe. Be careful out there.

From the CB1 Yahoo Group: Landlord Harassment & Then Some

Ann-Marie writes:

Yesterday my mother and I were assaulted by our landlord in the building’s hallway. Three real estate agents working for the Corcoran Group were there. While I would not expect them to risk physical injury I would expect them to call the police or try to calm the people involved.

They did nothing. Just stood and watched what unfolded. One of the agents laughed at what was happening. Even after the police arrived the agents still lingered in the hallway watching “the show”. I find them despicable as human beings and wonder if the Corcoran Group with its steller marketing ads would want something like this publicized.

I had called 911. The police took down all necssary information. My mother and I have each filed a complaint and will seek an order of protection through criminal court.

As the landlord was leaving he verbally tripled our rent and said he is going to get us out – by which he will probably file for eviction. We have contacted various agencies for help. Since we live in a “private” house and are not in a rent controlled or rent stabilized apartment not one agency seems to have our situation under their jurisdiction.

Unfortunately I am unemployed right now and lost what little savings I accumulated in the recent stock market crash. So while I would logically look for another apartment or to find a “rent to own” a townhouse (in another state – on my salary and my mother’s SSI we cannot afford New York) my hands are tied. I only ask everyone to pray for us.

I honestly do not know what to say about this other than if what Ann-Marie writes is true— and there is no reason I can think of to disbelieve her— this is appalling. And inexcusable.

Miss Heather

UPDATE, 7:00 p.m.: Laura Hofmann has brought this to my attention:

Ann-Marie served on the Brooklyn Community Board 1 Rezoning Task Force Open Space Committee for the duration of the rezoning process. It is in part, due to her work that everyone in the community will enjoy our community parks.

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